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Unless you want to bring chaos to the congregation and earn the contempt of the women parishioners do not breathe a word of this amusing question to anyone, not even your friend.
He and his deceased wife are pictured in a place of honor in the church not so much because they were married but because they were founders.
Unless you yourself are a founder, marrying your friend will not make you one.
Did you know his wife? Personally it wouldn't bother me in that situation if he talked about her, unless he was comparing me unfavorably to her.
But if it bothers you, if you're trying to replace her rather than join him in a life together, do him a favor and don't marry him.
I already stated I would never bring chaos to the church. I’m joining him and to walk by his side to serve. I never stated I considered myself a founder. By no means. I was just asking about the big center wall picture. It will remain there as per the advice of another kind poster
He is not ready for marriage if he still talks about his late wife all the time. You are not ready for marriage if you can't get over a stupid picture of his late wife, who was a co-founder of the church.
This wedding is folly.
Thanks for your opinion. I appreciate it. It’s not a stupid picture. It’s quite lovely. She was a wonderful woman. I feel bad for her.
Yeah the photo wouldn't bother me so much as the constant talking about his deceased wife would. I'd probably put a pause on the wedding plans and have a down-to-earth talk with this man. He may not even realize he's doing it.
Personally, with both folks having more years behind them rather than in front of them, I think its silly to expect either of them to just stop talking about their former partners and I don't think there's a way to gracefully ask him to stop. She was a huge part of his life as well as the congregations. But if you can't accept that (and I think that'd be a shame) than don't get married. You'll both be unhappy.
You are correct. I don’t think I said I can’t accept it. I’m very much embracing the fact that he had a wonderful marriage. That was one of the things I liked about him. It’s very unlikely we will just stop talking about our late spouses. Maybe even impossible. No problem there.
I agree since she was a founder the photo should stay.
Perhaps the longer the two of you are together the less he will speak of his first wife. I have never had that kind of love so I really cant comment on that.
I loved your very kind reply. I completely agree. This marriage will happen and the picture will remain center of wall. We have wonderful times together and mesh beautifully. we’re extremely happy. I just posted a question and only a fragment of our relationship.
You are correct. I don’t think I said I can’t accept it. I’m very much embracing the fact that he had a wonderful marriage. That was one of the things I liked about him. It’s very unlikely we will just stop talking about our late spouses. Maybe even impossible. No problem there.
It bothers me that you had to ask about the picture and then referred to yourself as the new sheriff.
Why would you even think the picture should have been moved?
Yeah, agreed. The OP has since been trying to walk back most everything she said in her first post. The other one that stuck out to me was 'make her small in his heart.'
Yeah, agreed. The OP has since been trying to walk back most everything she said in her first post. The other one that stuck out to me was 'make her small in his heart.'
I missed that.
Ouch.
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Well in fairness to OP, she was saying as she had done regarding her late husband.
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