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So being constantly on one's phone is now "basic social etiquette"?
Not what I said.
You set these kinds of boundaries with a loud obnoxious friend who you see once in a blue moon. Not your kid. OP apparently thinks they are too important to talk to their own child.
LOL. You remind me of my son. When I mentioned something to him about not answering his phone, he said I got this phone so I could make calls not so people could call me.
On my behalf, I never call him unless it is important like, my car broke down can you come and get me, or someone died, or there is a package here for you.
Yes, of course there are some people who I will immediately answer because they never call. But for the most part, I feel the same as your son.
You set these kinds of boundaries with a loud obnoxious friend who you see once in a blue moon. Not your kid. OP apparently thinks they are too important to talk to their own child.
When a child constantly crosses your clearly-stated boundaries, they don't continue to get special treatment. We as parents are supposed to be mentors, not be at their beck-and-call. That's a failure to launch.
When a child constantly crosses your clearly-stated boundaries, they don't continue to get special treatment. We as parents are supposed to be mentors, not be at their beck-and-call. That's a failure to launch.
Yes, of course there are some people who I will immediately answer because they never call. But for the most part, I feel the same as your son.
I don't blame you. But I'm his mother, , and I rarely call him .
I certainly dont always answer my phone and it seems to drive people nuts. They will yell, "your phone is ringing!" and they will pick it up and bring it to me.
I certainly don't always answer my phone and it seems to drive people nuts. They will yell, "your phone is ringing!" and they will pick it up and bring it to me.
It drives phone addicts crazy if you don't share their addiction. They truly get angry about it. As I've recounted before, I was once told that I "must not want friends" because I rarely turn my phone on. I once made the mistake of getting involved in a group text and, good grief, they "blew my phone up," as the saying goes, and it went on forever, talking about nothing. People are on their phones ALL. DAY. AND. NIGHT. LONG. No thank you!
When a child constantly crosses your clearly-stated boundaries, they don't continue to get special treatment. We as parents are supposed to be mentors, not be at their beck-and-call. That's a failure to launch.
It's not about being at their beck and call. This is not a boundary that needs to exist.
I don't have kids, but all I know is I would not set such rigid demands unless I took serious issue with them. People shouldn't need to make an appointment to talk to their own parents. Did it somehow become acceptable to act distant towards your kid? Or is there something OP is not telling us?
Last edited by littletraveller; 04-01-2024 at 11:07 AM..
asking someone to text you before they call you has got to be one of the dumbest things I have ever heard.
if it isn't a good time, or you can't talk on the phone, you don't answer, that's what answering machines are for.
also, phones also turn off.
this really took the cake, a text before a phone call. LOL
It's not about being at their beck and call. This is not a boundary that needs to exist.
I don't have kids, but all I know is I would not set such rigid demands unless I took serious issue with them. People shouldn't need to make an appointment to talk to their own parents. Did it somehow become acceptable to act distant towards your kid? Or is there something OP is not telling us?
I don't think you need to say it's not a boundary that needs to exist - you don't know her special situation. You're assuming that she's acting distant - I didn't get any of that from her post. She's telling her grown, college aged adult child to respect her ask and the kid won't do it. She sounds selfish and maybe jealous of her younger brother. And you don't have kids so you don't know how you might act in say, 20 years after having a child. You just don't know.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nightcrawler
asking someone to text you before they call you has got to be one of the dumbest things I have ever heard.
if it isn't a good time, or you can't talk on the phone, you don't answer, that's what answering machines are for.
also, phones also turn off.
this really took the cake, a text before a phone call. LOL
ridicoulos.
Not ridiculous. Maybe you've never heard of someone doing that but it's common actually. I had a friend who would text and say, can you take a call? She wasn't sure of my working hours or if I might be in traffic or whatever - it's a common courtesy for those who text frequently and talk on the phone less.
Just because it's not a common practice for you, doesn't mean it's a ridiculous scenario for others. I can appreciate the OP setting her boundaries with her grown child and being mildly irritated when the daughter ignores her wishes. Especially with health issues - sometimes, you might not want to actually speak with someone - texting might be all the energy you can muster.
Chastising someone who indicated already that she's close to her daughter, but annoyed that she can't be respectful, is a bit backwards IMO.
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, and I rarely call him 
. 
