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Besides calling child protective services, there isn't anything you could do. My great niece is 5 years old and weigh 98 pounds, clothing size 14 and barely able to walk without breathing difficulty. Her mother, a nurse, does not want to hear anything in regards to her daughter's weight. Out of the 4 people in their family everyone is in P90X shape except for my niece and her daughter. I believe my niece needs the company of someone eating meals with her. The 5 year old is already being seen in a diabetes clinic and asthma clinic. I feel for her now that she has started school, the children before long will be teasing her.
As outsiders, we could only pray that an intervention by doctors or authority take place. I know for sure if she continues like this her life will be difficult.
Besides calling child protective services, there isn't anything you could do. My great niece is 5 years old and weigh 98 pounds, clothing size 14 and barely able to walk without breathing difficulty. Her mother, a nurse, does not want to hear anything in regards to her daughter's weight. Out of the 4 people in their family everyone is in P90X shape except for my niece and her daughter. I believe my niece needs the company of someone eating meals with her. The 5 year old is already being seen in a diabetes clinic and asthma clinic. I feel for her now that she has started school, the children before long will be teasing her.
As outsiders, we could only pray that an intervention by doctors or authority take place. I know for sure if she continues like this her life will be difficult.
Geez! A nurse who allows her daughter to become obese?! She should be well aware of the risks.
Yea, that's the thing isn't it? The father is my youngest son and I don't want to jeopardize my relationship with him.
You have the right idea.
Try buying her a video game that requires movement like, for example, the "Nintendo Wii".
I have a neice who's 5 years old & was becoming slightly overweight because her mom likes to take her out to restaurants almost 3 times a week.
My brother purchased the Nintendo Wii for her earlier this year & now she seems to be more active and it's helping her tone up.
She likes to play the toddler dancing & sports games which requires their body movement.
Try not to say anything that may make your son think you're against his parenting.
Thanks. I'm going to pay for her to go to a soccer club, and maybe a preschool as she's not in one now.
I'm not sure where she lives, but I know that when my daughter was younger, she was in soccer. It was only during the warmer months and it was through our town. The cost was very inexpensive (something like $60 for the season)
If you really want to get her on a great exercise routine, maybe you can offer to pay for martial arts lessons. My daughter took martial arts from the time she was 4 1/2 until she was about 9 and it's a real workout for them! They not only learn martial arts, but they do regular exercise as well (sit ups, push ups, running, jumping jacks, squats, etc) to build muscle. Martial arts may be expensive, but it might be well worth it if it can help her.
I'm not sure where she lives, but I know that when my daughter was younger, she was in soccer. It was only during the warmer months and it was through our town. The cost was very inexpensive (something like $60 for the season)
If you really want to get her on a great exercise routine, maybe you can offer to pay for martial arts lessons. My daughter took martial arts from the time she was 4 1/2 until she was about 9 and it's a real workout for them! They not only learn martial arts, but they do regular exercise as well (sit ups, push ups, running, jumping jacks, squats, etc) to build muscle. Martial arts may be expensive, but it might be well worth it if it can help her.
She is in Michigan and there are many options there. The problem is getting her parents to drive her to these places as they tend to be on the lazy side. Their work hours tend to change often so they use that as an excuse not to do something. My son suggested the soccer though, so we'll see.
First of all, yankinscotland, you might want to be a tad bit more sensitive. This is not your grandaughters fault. Being called "overweight" doesn't hurt near as much as being called "fat". If you want to help and be involved with weight loss for her, you are going to have to lighten up. Yes, obesity in children all over the world is on the rise. Diabetes is on the rise. I have a son who is a type 1 diabetic (not due to obesity) he could hide behind a fencepost he is so skinny, and you wouldn't believe how many people automatically assume he is obese upon hearing he is a diabetic. Pathetic! I have another son who has Cushings Syndrome. He is very much overweight but was a beanpole until the age of 7. He has a growth on his parathyroid that is very risky to remove until he reaches puberty. Thank God he has two loving Grammas who are not ashamed of him and want to do everything they can to help and encourage him. Because of a loving, supportive family, his self-esteem is intact. He is an absolute joy to be around. Please talk to your daughter about taking your grandaughter to a specialist to rule out any underlying conditions. After that, if there is no underlying condition, work with your daughter, her husband and ALL of their children about living a healthier lifestyle. If you can, YOU go for a bikeride with her. YOU take her out for a healthy lunch followed by a walk in the park. First and foremost, your grandaughter needs to see that you love her and are not ashamed of her. From your post, I kind of got the feeling that it's a physical image issue with you, especially when you use the term "fat". Please don't do that. My son is fortunate enough to be in a very small, close-knit class at school. If a new student so much as says the word "fat", his classmates whom he grew up with jump to defend him. They cheer him on in Physical Education class. And if you discover that your grandaughter just needs more exercise and better diet, so be it, encourage her instead of shooting her down by her own Grandmother calling overweight people or her "fat".
First of all, yankinscotland, you might want to be a tad bit more sensitive. This is not your grandaughters fault. Being called "overweight" doesn't hurt near as much as being called "fat". If you want to help and be involved with weight loss for her, you are going to have to lighten up. Yes, obesity in children all over the world is on the rise. Diabetes is on the rise. I have a son who is a type 1 diabetic (not due to obesity) he could hide behind a fencepost he is so skinny, and you wouldn't believe how many people automatically assume he is obese upon hearing he is a diabetic. Pathetic! I have another son who has Cushings Syndrome. He is very much overweight but was a beanpole until the age of 7. He has a growth on his parathyroid that is very risky to remove until he reaches puberty. Thank God he has two loving Grammas who are not ashamed of him and want to do everything they can to help and encourage him. Because of a loving, supportive family, his self-esteem is intact. He is an absolute joy to be around. Please talk to your daughter about taking your grandaughter to a specialist to rule out any underlying conditions. After that, if there is no underlying condition, work with your daughter, her husband and ALL of their children about living a healthier lifestyle. If you can, YOU go for a bikeride with her. YOU take her out for a healthy lunch followed by a walk in the park. First and foremost, your grandaughter needs to see that you love her and are not ashamed of her. From your post, I kind of got the feeling that it's a physical image issue with you, especially when you use the term "fat". Please don't do that. My son is fortunate enough to be in a very small, close-knit class at school. If a new student so much as says the word "fat", his classmates whom he grew up with jump to defend him. They cheer him on in Physical Education class. And if you discover that your grandaughter just needs more exercise and better diet, so be it, encourage her instead of shooting her down by her own Grandmother calling overweight people or her "fat".
You've apparently not read any of the previous posts on this thread. I live in a different country from my granddaughter. I see her once or twice a year. As everyone else has said, criticizing the parents will do no good. All of them are obese due to bad eating habits which they have no desire to change. There is no physical problem for my granddaughter other than having parents, especially the mother who fusses if she doesn't stuff herself. Granddaughters main foods are cheese, fatty foods, and sweets and that is what is offered to her. I do not call her fat in front of anyone in her family and certainly not in front of her. I know it's not her fault, it's her parents. My granddaughter gets nothing but approval and love from me.
This is up to her parents who have their heads in the sand. Until a doctor tells them they are risking my granddaughters health, nothing will happen to change it.
This is up to her parents who have their heads in the sand. Until a doctor tells them they are risking my granddaughters health, nothing will happen to change it.
They may not even do anything if the doctor tells them. This is just like my friend who I mentioned in my previous post:
I have a friend with 2 daughters 10/11 years old. The both of them are completely obese (about 4' 10" tall and 150-160 lbs). Neither can do any physical activities without becoming winded or turning bright red, and both could easily eat a trucker under the table. She sees nothing wrong. Yes, she knows they're both obese but she's "hoping" they'll outgrow it or "thin out". She refuses to admit it's not going to happen without her doing something about it. People (inluding her parents, her in-laws, her sisters/brothers, other family members) have spoken to her about it, but she won't take the time to do anything about it. It's really a shame because these are 2 great girls but they're having such a hard go of it now --- I can't even imagine what they're going to go through as they get older and kids get nasty with comments, not to mention the health problems they will develop.
Her kids' doctor said something to her about it, but she never bothered to do anything about it. In my opinion, she's just too self-centered/lazy to do anything about it.
I really hope you can get your son/daughter in law on track for your grand-daughter's sake. Have you heard anything from them about it? Or are they still ignoring the issue?? Were you able to get your GD the edible arrangement?
I am visiting my family now so have seen my granddaughter often in the last couple of weeks. At dinner last night she ate cheese and broccoli soup and a salad loaded with cheese and ranch dressing. Didn't eat her pasta and veg.
When granddaughter visits my sisters house she completely ignores other foods in favour of fruit, especially grapes. DIL is always surprised because she says gd won't eat those at home so they don't bother to buy them very often. Ummm...why give the option of sweets vs fruit? Just offer fruit. But you can't tell them that. Food, especially fatty, sugary food = love and comfort according to them.
Just learned another grandchild is on the way.
DIL is so clingy that she won't put GD in preschool and doesn't even want her to go to kindergarten. So the mother's needs always come before the kids.
^^ The kid ate a salad and *broccoli* soup for dinner, not pizza and donuts for goodness sake. It sounds as though there was probably too much cheese in your gd's meal, but it wasn't all empty, fatty, sugary calories. There's room for improvement, but that's the case with most people's diets....
If your gd loves fruit, you could try bringing a fruit tray the next time you have dinner together. Beyond that, focus on having fun with her and doing things together. Find out if there are lessons she would like to take (ice skating, roller skating, tae kwon do, etc.) and ask the parents if it would be o.k. if you signed her up for a class. Teach her how to ride a bike or a scooter if she doesn't already know how to do so.
Focusing on all the things your son and his wife could do better will only drive you crazy. You simply have no control over them. Instead, focus on the positive things you can do for your gd (and new grandbaby too - congratulations) and forget the things that are not within your control.
Last edited by springfieldva; 01-02-2010 at 01:19 PM..
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Their work hours tend to change often so they use that as an excuse not to do something. My son suggested the soccer though, so we'll see.
