Confront the boss or keep quiet? (employee, jobs, career, interest)
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When I say I confront I don't mean anything aggressive, to be clear. I'm thinking of going to the boss with things I don't like to have a discussion. My dh thinks I should just keep quiet, which is my normal MO. He also thinks I shouldn't take things so personally, but that's a personality thing that isn't easy to turn off.
My boss nit picks and verbally micro-manages, but from what I've seen thus far it doesn't always include follow through. For example with nit picking, she noted in a meeting yesterday that she didn't understand an approach I took for a specific action. She said I should have done it X, Y, Z way. Either approach gives the same results, but the way I did it saved me some time. I perceived her as being annoyed, but I might just be paranoid.
She'll also give me off the cuff tasks in our weekly meetings, which I simply don't have the time for. By the next meeting she may or may not remember the tasks she gave. She'll forget conversations we've had. I'll complete a task she asked to be done and then she'll ask me why I'm wasting my time doing it. It's frustrating for me and it's getting me down.
With all that said, as mentioned in one of my other threads, she gave me a strong year-end review. This is what makes me think I'm bringing a level of paranoia to the situation.
What would you do? Please share any experiences you have had in the past with approaching your boss. Thanks!
Listen to your gut.
Is there any need to rush? Can "do nothing" and time solve this?
Corporate messages to employees are always about "Communication" and 'We're Open Here at ..." and "Tell you manager", etc. However, that communication is usually one way. Corporations promote a culture of communication but that is to encourage employees to tell managers everything. It's a control thing. Those in the know, have the control.
Also "Ask Your Manager" is the same thing as "Tell Your Manager" because whenever you ask a question, you're really telling him something. Questions need to be asked strategically. A good lawyer never asks a question for which he doesn't know the answer. The worst way to learn something is by asking your manager.
Listen to your gut.
Is there any need to rush? Can "do nothing" and time solve this?
I don't know. I worry that time might not fix this because a part of the problem is that my mgr's decision making with projects contributes to the problem. She doesn't have expertise in the particular subject I'm investigating and her questions/tasks are based on her looking to learn more. I don't have expertise either, tho I'm gaining it, so it's difficult to answer her appropriately. I fear that once this project is done, she'll pick something else that will put me right back in the position I'm in now. Our group had a bad year in 2009 I believe it's do to this.
Perhaps I could passively approach these issues one at a time as they come up in meetings. The hard part for me is that if I'm not on my A game (alert, well slept, prepared for potential questions) during a meeting, I get flustered and shut down.
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Corporate messages to employees are always about "Communication" and 'We're Open Here at ..." and "Tell you manager", etc. However, that communication is usually one way. Corporations promote a culture of communication but that is to encourage employees to tell managers everything. It's a control thing. Those in the know, have the control.
Also "Ask Your Manager" is the same thing as "Tell Your Manager" because whenever you ask a question, you're really telling him something. Questions need to be asked strategically. A good lawyer never asks a question for which he doesn't know the answer. The worst way to learn something is by asking your manager.
You are so right. My gut yesterday told me not to mention anything during the meeting, but I thought "hey, this is a venue that could help me solve problems A, B, etc". That was a mistake. One small problem just got stacked with a bunch of other garbage.
I'd blow it all off -- it sounds to me that this is her management style. You see a lot of that but as long as she gave you a good review, it's not a real problem.
She doesn't sound like the best management type but that's how it is -- she's not likely to act on anything you bring up so I'd leave it alone.
Hi again malamute. You're probably right as well, in that she's unlikely to act on anything I bring up. I can't change her. I can only change myself, tho, that seems to be just as difficult for me.
Hi again malamute. You're probably right as well, in that she's unlikely to act on anything I bring up. I can't change her. I can only change myself, tho, that seems to be just as difficult for me.
Sometimes this type has a need to feel in control and so they nitpick and micromanage. Some people get in good with this kind by catering to that need, even asking them ahead of time how something should be done and giving them the satisfaction of being needed. The employee might end up doing it his or he own way but they flatter the boss who then feels important and the boss never notices that the project was done differently than he or she suggested.
Confronting them even in a non-aggressive way may make this kind of boss feel threatened and that's why I don't suggest it. Talking things out only works with certain types.
The worst part of any job isn't the work itself, it's the personalities in the work place you must deal with.
My theory was "tell them what they want to hear and do what you want to do". As long as you do a good job of course.
When people micro-managed me I told them not to hold my ears, I know what I'm doing. I was willing to be confrontational. Or you can slow down when being micro-managed and speed up when left alone, a smart boss will get the story.
Sometimes this type has a need to feel in control and so they nitpick and micromanage. Some people get in good with this kind by catering to that need, even asking them ahead of time how something should be done and giving them the satisfaction of being needed. The employee might end up doing it his or he own way but they flatter the boss who then feels important and the boss never notices that the project was done differently than he or she suggested.
Confronting them even in a non-aggressive way may make this kind of boss feel threatened and that's why I don't suggest it. Talking things out only works with certain types.
The worst part of any job isn't the work itself, it's the personalities in the work place you must deal with.
So true. I was really spoiled in my last department. I'm seeing significant cultural differences between these two departments. The last one had a lot of Hindus/Jains and I meshed much better with them (vegetarian, worldview approach, etc). It's striking to me. As you know, I've been seriously considering leaving this group because of my boss. The dh says I could end up screwing myself because I might end up with another bad boss, but the work might not be as interesting or important to career development.
One thing I am going to do is just not take on a project (the big projects) because she's suggesting it. I will investigate first and make sure it's reasonable. In the past I would just do as told without offering my two cents. No more of that.
My theory was "tell them what they want to hear and do what you want to do". As long as you do a good job of course.
When people micro-managed me I told them not to hold my ears, I know what I'm doing. I was willing to be confrontational. Or you can slow down when being micro-managed and speed up when left alone, a smart boss will get the story.
I wish I had the option of slowing down. A big part of my problem is that I lost support for this year (contract employee was let go). I might get an intern for the summer, but that doesn't help much now and the added responsibility of supervising an intern will probably eat up any time freed by his/her presence. Any way, I'm now doing the routine work the contractor was doing, so things are real tight. That's the reason I get frustrated with her added tasks. I don't have the time for the work I currently have with the projects in the pipe line for Q2 let alone the garbage she's dishing every week.
Just make sure the time and so is right for you, this boss sounds more annoying than anything but not truly vindictive or hostile. Sometimes you can find other positives in the job itself or try to adapt -- it all depends on your own situation, the availability of better jobs and bosses.
It's like you don't let the ants and flies stop you from enjoying a picnic.
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