Who's unlucky in relationships, but successful at outside sales? (average, owner, work)

[beenhereandthere]

I'm just wondering if there's any advice or encouragement to give. My dating life and rejection with that has been bad enough, that it really is making me have doubts about a new sales career I'm trying. I just started it. It's an excellent product, however, I'm afraid about my chances in it. I don't deal with no that well, since I've had way too much to it in relationships. Now I'm trying something new, which no is common to very common. It's at the point where I don't even ask anyone out since I get enough "no's" from my job. The rejection factor is something that could drive me out of it. I feel like I'm asking folks to "date" me, when I go business to business. Of course, I know that asking someone to even kiss you, is not the same as trying to sell to them. The factor though, about my living depending on folks saying yes or no, really worries me. 5 people saying no to my product is one thing, but 10 to 20 a day is something else.
I've have set up appointments and presentations (about 8 in a span of 3 weeks, working on average, prospecting, 30 hours a week), however, I don't have an official sale yet.
Again, who is "bad" in the dating game, but "good" in person to person sales?
PS. It's not like I look like, say Mr Ed or something like that, but I've almost have always been unlucky in love

[tluv00]

Sounds like confidence is your biggest issue and that is huge in dating and sales.

Believing in the product is very important to your credibility. People can tell when you are BSing them and it turns them off immediately. In today's society and economy sales is no longer a slick phrase or spiel. The days of ABC (Always Be Closing) is gone and a more service/solutions orientated sales approach is what leads to success and relationships with clients. SPIN sales or using PARs to find out the prospective clients needs and if your capabilities line up with those needs is what closes sales. Without a need, there is no sale. Just you pushing and pushing and pushing and constantly getting rejected.

PARs stands for Problem, Action and Result. Find out the problem, come up with a form of action (usually your product or service) and get results. Once you have one you can use that as your means to get business in the future. "Mr Johnson, we work with ABC company to help them realize cost savings by implementing a new production model that helps them to realize a 60% decrease in spend and a 27% increase in productivity." Something like that. It helps if you know the problem and have an example where your solution worked.

SPIN selling is very similar and best explained here:
SPIN selling summary

Good luck with work and life but remember to be confident (confidence shows you believe in your product and yourself), be honest and most importantly don't assume anything. Be yourself (unless you are an a$$ then just give up ) and be credible.

[JonathanLB]

Interesting, I never thought about the two being linked, but I guess I can see that. I have to face the prospect next year of a lot of "nos" and I'm not sure how that will be for me. I started a production company with a business partner in 2007 where I was going to manage most of the production and the knowledge-based stuff, and my business partner was going to be the sales guy, and he's a great natural salesman. But things didn't work out, even he couldn't find clients in our market that would pay what we wanted, and we had some other issues I think, different goals, etc. So now it's up to me to be my new company's sales guy and production guy, and I'm very nervous because it's frustrating that my success as a small business owner depends so much on my sales ability, even though I'm also expected of course to be an excellent numbers guy, a great producer, a good director, and perform numerous other things large and small well, when it's hard enough to be very good at any one aspect. I'm pretty shy in a sense, like I don't have a history of rejection with girls, I don't think I've ever been rejected, but I haven't really tried that hard either. I don't get rejected because the few times I put myself out there, I have decent success, but to me it's a different thing entirely -- I reject most girls, not interested, high standards. With clients, my only real standards are not porn and sufficient budgets. So I can't afford to sit back and wait for clients, I have to be aggressive, and I'm sure that means getting told NO a lot of times, or having to tell the client NO to their offers.

Sales is very tough. I started doing sales when I was about 6 years old, on the golf course, selling golf balls to golfers on the 16th hole of this course where we had a vacation home. Probably sold golf balls through when I was 10 or 11 anyway. Then when I was 18 I did sales for several Websites, my own, where I had to sell newsletter ad space, banner ad space, and popup ad space. Some was automated, some was sold individually or in bulk, and that was great experience but it was still tough work and a high failure rate. I like to believe I'm good at what I put my mind to but I am not that confident in my sales ability, either, and in some ways I guess I'm hoping that when I put some work into it, that it won't take too long before I don't have to find clients, they find me. In my industry that usually happens, but it can take a few years, and those years are tough.