Have lies and gossip been spread about you at work? (employee, secretaries)

[Refugee56]

In my previous job, my boss use to come to me on a monthly basis to tell me what people had been saying about me. It was always something mean, unfair and untrue. I was accused of some terrible things. He did not like me much so no matter how hard I tried, I could not get him to tell me exactly who was making up these lies about me.

I knew it was likely people in my staff who were trying to get me fired so they could take over my job. Or the Office Manager who had applied for my job and was not selected. Or the women in the office who I had called to task for breaking corporate rules.

Usually around the first of the month of each month, my boss would call me in the office and tell me more lies and gossip he had heard about me and end the meeting with a comment that I should clean up my act. Each time I repeated my regular denial that the things were true and each time he repeated his belief that I was lying.

Finally on performance appraisal time all the lies were included in my performance evaluation. I submitted a rebuttal, but it was ignored.

I worked there for another year because outside of the lies it was a nice job and I was paid far more than I was worth.

Can you relate to my situation?

[sirron]

What a disfunctional place! It's a shame that this 'boss' didn't have the leadership skills to corral everyone into a meeting to actually discuss said problems. He/she was a key cause of all the grief. That being said, welcome to office politics for the jealous. Usually, if someone just doesn't like you, they will ignore you, not continually make stuff up. It is the jealous who will sabotage you.
I would have started quizzing the suspected complainers one by one, since the boss couldn't pinpoint who said what. This situation was a festering boil waiting to pop.
I've found that the less I care what others think, and the less I try to constantly please them, the more they respond with respect. Crazy, I know. Better luck to you at your next job.

[gizmobizmo]

I've been on the receiving end of rumors too and it wasn't fun. Like the previous poster said, it's the jealous ones that will sabotage you. Not everyone is going to like everyone else but, for Pete's sake, can't people act like grown-ups?

[janetvj]

I'll assume the lies and gossip were about your work performance. If not, and it was about your personal life, then your boss had absolutely no right to even bring it up. So if it was about your performance, couldn't you have used actual statistics to back up your claim that it was untrue? Were performance standards set, and did you attain them? Or were the complaints about customer service and/or ability to cooperate with others? You mention those in your office who had reason to be upset with you, but wasn't there anyone there who you had not had an issue with?

[Refugee56]

From the OP:

The complaints, gossip and lies were mostly general in nature.

Here is a list of things people were saying to my boss, who in turn reports back to me.

"Did you hear that Larry said this about you"

To my boss, "Larry is going around the office telling everyone you are an idiot"

"Larry is a real fool, I can not believe how he handled the Hotel initiative, he does not have a clue, what a fool" (Of course how I handled that Initiative is bases on my background, training and personality. Everyone likes to play armchair quarterback and second guess but the person responsible for the program needs to use his discretion)

Larry is not putting in the hours, he slips out at exactly five pm each day and takes a two hour lunch"

[janetvj]

Originally Posted by Refugee56

From the OP:

The complaints, gossip and lies were mostly general in nature.

Here is a list of things people were saying to my boss, who in turn reports back to me.

"Did you hear that Larry said this about you"

To my boss, "Larry is going around the office telling everyone you are an idiot"

"Larry is a real fool, I can not believe how he handled the Hotel initiative, he does not have a clue, what a fool"

Larry is not putting in the hours, he slips out at exactly five pm each day and takes a two hour lunch"

Then it appears that the real problem is your boss. I never put much stock in one of my employees claiming that someone said something negative about me. I would conclude that they were just trying to start something. And frankly, I'm sure there are some of my employees who don't like me and may call me an idiot, but as long as they do their job I really could care less what they think of me.

And a good supervisor should never rely on someone's co-workers for feed-back about performance or work habits. If someone told me another employee was taking long lunches or leaving early, I would probably check into it, but I certainly wouldn't confront the person about it unless I could verify it personally.

As for "mishandling the hotel initiative", I would think that could also be something that could be verified.

Just treat this as a learning experience, and be glad you moved on.

[coldwine]

I've dealt with this before.

The first real job I had out of college was working for an accounting firm that shall go unnamed. It was just so childish...

In retrospect, I've come to learn that when people hate their jobs, hate their lives and wish they could change them into anything else (and either don't know what or feel it to be impossible for whatever reason) they inflict it on those around them. And I worked for some absolutely miserable people, so miserable and hateful they literally spat acid-- all those ulcers So other people in my position would conspire against themselves with these hateful people.

And god forbid you should be seen as moving on to other things. They will do anything in their power to tear you down. It was a normal day for me to walk into work and not know who would be speaking to me that day and who would completely ignore me. Being the tactless and direct person that I am, it was like a bleach and ammonia combo waiting to go down.

I'm a little older and the people I work with now are much older. So it's more of a mellow thing. Now that I work as a lawyer the alcoholism and drug abuse are more common and accepted, so people take the hate out on themselves. I suppose it's better than having it directed at me.

[stephanieh72]

Refugee......I totally know where you are coming from...I have had to fight my way to keep the job I have as jobs arent easily come by right now...There is a girl at my job that constantly acts as a friend to everyone but talks **** behind thier backs to get sh*t started...If I make a comment she has to make it sound worse...which I never deny if I make a comment simply because it wasnt meant to hurt anyone...she has said untrue things about others at work to that are very hurtful and I wish I could figure out a way to put a stop to it...I just want to go into my job and do my job, make money and then go home...I am not there to make friends unless its someone who knows how to be a friend...I do however do my best to get along for the sake of my job...it does get very challenging at times though...I have gotten anxiety knowing that I have to go into this place to do my job while working with this girl that has a problem with her own life evidently...she is always wanting me to switch shifts with her so that her schedule can suit her life and I am done helping her out...I dont fair well with backstabbers or sh*t talkers...my email is [EMAIL="stephanieh72@yahoo.com"]stephanieh72@yahoo.com[/EMAIL] if you need someone to vent to cause I know exactly what you are going through...I know that your comment was posted quite some time ago but maybe you are still having these problems or you have figured out a way to handle it..if you have found a way to handle it, please let me know..maybe I can try it and fix my workplace, somewhat...Have a great day

[osuzana]

Oh the drama of office work especially if you are surrounded by women. Women can be very cruel to other women both behind your back and to you by ignoring you, whispering around you, making comments about you right in front of you but not to you and then you have the weekly meeting, yes, weekly, with the manager that takes everything these insecure b***es have to say as gospel. It's like a weekly trial without a jury of your peers. Why do these people think that focusing on the negative will improve your performance at work? All managers should be required to take management classes before they have the control of a department and people instead of just being promoted from whatever their position was straight to managing human beings. My manager was a Physical Therapist that ended up managing two departments in three different locations consisting of doctors, secretaries, RN's, etc. Some are not meant to manage people, just reports, budgets and paperwork I am so glad to be out of there and found that I would prefer to work with a single practitioner than a large clinic, hopefully. I know some would think that the b****es won by my quitting but I won by saving my sanity and moving on hopefully to something more suitable. Always a learning experience.

[TJenkins602]

People all the time spread gossip about me. Nasty gossip. They took it to the extent of making me unemployable (can't get a job, have no choice but make money online.)