Lonely at work (percentage, paid, full time, experience)
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When you go to lunch, or break, and go in the lunch/break room, is there usually a table that has people sitting at it?
If so, could you ask to join them? One thing I learned over time, on this particular issue, is that new people just get....over looked a lot. People don't purposely set out (usually) to ignore the new person...it's just that folks already have their connections and ties, and it takes awhile for the new person to be assimilated in. But I've also seen that if the new person asks to join the group, the group is happy to include the new person. Most people are nice.
I hope you eventually get a pal or 2 to hang with. Like I said, I have been exactly in your shoes, and it's nice to have a buddy.
We don't have a lunch or break room so people usually go downtown, to the mall, shops etc. It's hard to keep track who is going where and even if I meet someone in the city, I'm not 100% sure that they work at my company.
I agree with people saying it's not 'normal' not to talk with anyone for 8+ hours a day and then walk aimlessly during the break. Some of my non work friends asked me if I wanted to meet during the break so that's what I do sometimes but I prefer hanging out with them when I don't have half an hour limit
We don't have a lunch or break room so people usually go downtown, to the mall, shops etc. It's hard to keep track who is going where and even if I meet someone in the city, I'm not 100% sure that they work at my company.
I agree with people saying it's not 'normal' not to talk with anyone for 8+ hours a day and then walk aimlessly during the break. Some of my non work friends asked me if I wanted to meet during the break so that's what I do sometimes but I prefer hanging out with them when I don't have half an hour limit
In my career, I've run across a few introverts who were perfectly happy to not have any contact with anyone at all throughout the day. They just slip in and out of the office without anyone noticing. They always say no to group lunches. Some of them have gone as far as not saying hi back after being helloed by coworkers. I'm guessing they're the ones on this forum who keep saying you're there to work not to socialize.
My perspective is this. We are not robots. Let's not act like robots.
I started working in this organization 9 months ago. People are nice and friendly and I actually know some of them from college but the problem is... They are not interested in socializing more than once every couple of days/weeks. That seems strange to me because at other positions I had I always managed to make deeper bonds and friendships. The atmosphere seems really relaxed here and people are used to doing their own thing during the break, leaving job earlier or staying at home working. We always chat on the hallway or grab occasional coffee together but nothing on regular basis. There are no groups, most people are keeping to themselves and usually go for a walk or shopping during the lunch hours. That also leaves me alone for most of my lunch breaks. I don't mind doing my own thing from time to time but I'm all out ideas what to do every day alone and I feel kind of lonely. I know work is not a place for socializing but it sure is nice to have a work buddy. I think the part of the problem is that I also don't have enough work to do so I'm usually bored and tend to overthink things. Is there any way to get used to this loner life for an extrovert surrounded by introverts?
It's work, not social hour. Do you know how many posts I've read on here talking about how people want to just go to work to work and keep the social part out of it?
It's work, not social hour. Do you know how many posts I've read on here talking about how people want to just go to work to work and keep the social part out of it?
One thing to take into consideration is if things go south in your relationship. How much personal info do you want your co workers to have on you? It can make you extremely vulnerable if they decide one day they don’t like you.
I learned this the hard way, thinking that I had a good relationship with my co workers, just to have one of them backstab me to a manager. It will be extremely difficult for me to trust them anymore after that.
One thing to take into consideration is if things go south in your relationship. How much personal info do you want your co workers to have on you? It can make you extremely vulnerable if they decide one day they don’t like you.
I learned this the hard way, thinking that I had a good relationship with my co workers, just to have one of them backstab me to a manager. It will be extremely difficult for me to trust them anymore after that.
what does that have to do with being social? you realize people can converse and socialize without getting personal right?
what does that have to do with being social? you realize people can converse and socialize without getting personal right?
Yeah? What are you going to talk about? How your commute was this morning? What kind of reports you’re working on and how fun they are? How your boss is really riding you?
Re-read the OP. I don’t think this is what OP is referring to.
It's work, not social hour. Do you know how many posts I've read on here talking about how people want to just go to work to work and keep the social part out of it?
Yup, because most people on here are introverts. They also moan and whine about how they can't get this job or that job because they don't have any network.
Networking got me 3 jobs in the past, one of them effectively put me in the 6 figures salary. Networking with me has gotten 4 other people their jobs. I network by socializing with coworkers.
In today's world, networking is one of the most powerful tools to getting good jobs. Don't moan and whine if you hate to have human contact at work.
Yeah? What are you going to talk about? How your commute was this morning? What kind of reports you’re working on and how fun they are? How your boss is really riding you?
Re-read the OP. I don’t think this is what OP is referring to.
This is why you learn what info you should tell people and which info you need to keep to yourself. I always think several steps ahead on how an info can be used against me before I tell anyone.
You're being paid to work not socialize. You want friends? Go make some outside of work. I don't see what the problem is. People are actually working at work....such a strange concept.
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