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What OP is facing is traditional ideas as Man as provider and this is seen as much from women as from men. Women are probably given leeway to be a supplemental income as their primary role is caretaker of the children and husband.
If a female age 30 with 2 kids said she works in subway, even if she worked in non-management position, I would accept it more than male. Sorry for being sexist but In that situation, I would assume the female was taking care of kids & child bearing did not allow her to make career progress. Many women are stay home mom with no job, other female might have completed higher education but had kids before she could start her full career n many women choose retail/service job for flexible hour for their kids....
Because of kids I wouldn't question her career position but if a 30 year old female with no kids had similar job as u, I would judge her the same. Btw having a assistant manager job is not bad. Its not same as flipping burger
Actually, this attitude irritates me even more than the idea that men in menial jobs are losers because they should have progressed faster up the corporate ladder than a woman. Women don't deserve sympathy or excuses because they have kids. We can't have it both ways. If we want equality (and most of us do), than we need to suck it up and deal with the negative aspects of having this equality as well as the positive. Having kids is a choice for everyone, and when one makes that choice, there are a lot of hard consequences associated with it.
As for the answer to OP's question, a lot of people look down on fast food workers. I don't, and I don't care what sex you are. To me, the difficulty of a job doesn't equate with the amount of money earned, and often there is a negative correlation: the harder jobs are the ones that require fewer skills and pay less. What matters is doing the job well, having a good attitude, and it's always nice if you enjoy it too. People who judge you for what you do are shallow and need to look at what's wrong with themselves. BTW, I don't look down on people on government assistance either. I don't know another's life, I'm not them, and sometimes it is necessary for survival. Life isn't easy. We do what we have to.
I definitely think so. Being a SAHM or more dependent on the man is still acceptable in most parts of American society, though not to the degree it was.
Pay little mind to the PC people. Fact is women get more leeway.
But the other much more important thing here is that there is no shame in your work OP. None at all.
And in my world, I can’t imagine someone ridiculing you. That would just be bizarre. And mind you that my world is among higher end professionals who are easily in the 300k/yr (household) income range.
I’m pretty certain that those who were disrespectful to you about your job are disrespectful because they are behind an anonymous keyboard and likely have zero experience in the real world. Believe you me, real adults who are able to not only take of themselves but others wouldn’t even think about ridiculing you.
What is especially frustrating is that society expects us men to still earn most or all of the money, but they also expect us to do 50% of the housework and childcare tasks. One of the many double standards in out society that men just blindly accept.
When I met my husband, I was unemployed. I didn't even consider dating anyone then, as I wanted to have my act together. I was told by friends and family that I was a woman, and my job status didn't matter.
My sister actually said, "As a woman, you can get away with that."
I met my husband, and during the 'get to know you' stage, when I told him that I was unemployed, he only asked if I were looking, what I was looking for, and if I needed any help.
If it makes you feel any better, the other posters on the Long Island, NY forum keep telling me to "get a real job" and they label me a "deadbeat dad" (even though I have no kids yet), even though I work full time as a civil engineer.
There are a lot of conflicts and hypocrisies in gender and employment. In today's modern world, women can make $$ just fine, but there's still a stigma if she's the breadwinner. She's still expected to work despite having kids, not too long after at that.
Men should be making enough for the whole family, but in some cases, 2 incomes is needed to the different economic landscape today. And when a woman is 'forced' to resign, some people will spin that off as "sabotaging" her career.
If we can have female lumberjacks, marines, and CEOs... alongside with male fashion designers, secretaries, and nurses, I usually don't bat an eye at who does what.
@OP. I suppose it would be better if you were on a more "fast track". Some of my relatives assume I'm making $100K, which is quite a bit ways off. I just count my blessings, and try to better myself. However, you're gainfully employed, which topped me at certain times since I had periods of unemployment. Just make sure you have a backup plan. I got laid off several times. While Subway isn't doing too shabby, it's still not unthinkable they'll lay off even a good asst./manager.
You say that men should be making enough for the whole family. If that is the case, then shouldn't the woman be doing most of the housework and childcare tasks?
Of COURSE the type of job is less important for women! I'm not saying it is right or that all work isn't honorable...it is. BUT, poll after poll all say that men don't care what kind of work a woman does. Maybe it is better if she's not entirely dependent on him (no one wants a "gold digger") but men don't value a woman's career the way that women value a man's career. Some can think it's good a man doesn't care and some can think it's bad that men don't care. No value judgments or saying it is a universal attitude, but in the U.S., that is the majority opinion.
That said, do whatever you want to do and either stop caring what people think or get ambitious...YOUR choice.
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No value judgments or saying it is a universal attitude, but in the U.S., that is the majority opinion.
