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Just anecdotally speaking I've seen articles on places like menshealth.com and a couple of other male oriented websites and that is one of the things I remember them saying that a woman may be flirting with if..... then they list off a few things and I always seem to remember playing with their hair as one of the things listed....
Yes, it was out of line. What you said to her translates as telling her she was flirting with you and that is not an appropriate commentary to your supervisor in the workplace.
Even if it is a sign of flirting, that's not the only thing it signals. It can be unconscious, out of boredom, out of comfort. My friend's son twirls his hair when he's getting sleepy.
my wife plays wih her hair all the time. While watching tv, while reading a book in between walking one place to the next. It's not nessarily a sign of anything other than a compulsive habit for her.
She will tend to do it when extremely comfortable or extremely stressed, But the act says nothing on its own. It Certainly does not mean flirtatious by its very nature.
It can say something in conjunction with other behaviors, but by itself it is usually just an indicator of stress or comfort.
The when, where, what and why matter here.
In your case she could have just been stressed from work or what you where dealing with in your discussion and nothing to do with anyone surrounding her.
Last edited by rego00123; 10-26-2015 at 04:38 PM..
The OP's work place apparently has a need for good training regarding harassment.
The OP created a hostile work environment, full stop.
Training I've been involved in even includes leering as something to be avoided.
How the hell did I create hostility??? It was an off the cuff comment. Maybe she had a lot on her mind, maybe she was stressed or just trying to balance things out - I don't know. Leering? What leering? When you're speaking with someone, do you not make eye contact? For the record, I was averting my eyes while she maintained steady eye contact. Jesus, people. If I was wrong, then fine, my bad! I'll apologize tomorrow.
How the hell did I create hostility??? It was an off the cuff comment. Maybe she had a lot on her mind, maybe she was stressed or just trying to balance things out - I don't know. Leering? What leering? When you're speaking with someone, do you not make eye contact? For the record, I was averting my eyes while she maintained steady eye contact. Jesus, people. If I was wrong, then fine, my bad! I'll apologize tomorrow.
You basically accused her of flirting or lusting after you (from the Freud comment). I would be extremely uncomfortable if a subordinate ever had the cajones - or no filter - to say that to me. Especially in MY office.
Playing with our hair is one way women may flirt, however we also play with our hair at other times. I twirl my hair all the time, when I'm sitting on the couch, watching TV, bored, etc. In other words, twirling or playing with hair could be a sign that a woman is flirting, bored, nervous, has a habit of it, etc.
How the hell did I create hostility??? It was an off the cuff comment. Maybe she had a lot on her mind, maybe she was stressed or just trying to balance things out - I don't know. Leering? What leering? When you're speaking with someone, do you not make eye contact? For the record, I was averting my eyes while she maintained steady eye contact. Jesus, people. If I was wrong, then fine, my bad! I'll apologize tomorrow.
You make some very bad judgement calls and then have to apologize later. I think you need to get more of a clue, not just in flirting, but also in workplace behavior.
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