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You're allowed to say? Your husband is "over you for marriage and family choices"? This should be a long forgotten idea. Because it's a BAD idea. In fact, it's an idea I would expect from an insane group like ISIS or the like. If your spirit has been crushed to the point that you find this nonsense acceptable, I think the damage might be irreparable. Marriage slavery is terrible when observed in a savage neanderthal theocracy. But in a country like America, it's an obscenity. An affront to humanity.
Her beliefs are based on the followings of her religion. No need to insult her for living life the way she's chosen to live it.
Ohky, I do think you should probably be aware that most of the population does not feel as you do, so getting on a forum and proclaiming that the wife should do as the husband wishes is not going to go over well in a country where women have fought for equal say, equal pay and equal rights. Just because this is your belief doesn't make it right for others.
Her beliefs are based on the followings of her religion. No need to insult her for living life the way she's chosen to live it.
Ohky, I do think you should probably be aware that most of the population does not feel as you do, so getting on a forum and proclaiming that the wife should do as the husband wishes is not going to go over well in a country where women have fought for equal say, equal pay and equal rights. Just because this is your belief doesn't make it right for others.
I wasn't insulting her personally, just the behavior. I think chosen subservience is irrational and self-negating. I think it is an horrific way to waste the only life you get. And the fact that it comes from religious belief does not excuse it.
I believe the old custom of a wife "submitting" to a husband in order to achieve material comfort is akin to spiritual prostitution. It's not a fitting lifestyle for a human being, man or woman, then or now.
Tough decision. Remember though, marriage is as much about commitment and responsibility as it is about love, if not more. It's a bit of a social contract that is really hard to get out of. Half of marriages end up in divorce, and divorce isn't healthy for either party. It's harder to marry another person than to live another person. Don't rush into this.
It's a complicated situation but in brief:
- my gf wants to get married by the end of 2015. I'm still kind of unsure & have become used to being independent.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Stop right there. Don't get married.
Exactly. I didn't even read past that first bullet point.
If you wanted to get married, OP, you'd feel it in your bones. If this girl was "The One", there wouldn't be this "should I/shouldn't I?" debate, and you really wouldn't be here on a message board asking a group a strangers to help you decide.
Stuff like this is why the divorce rate is sky high.
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