Networking for Introverts (job hunting, employment, interviews, employers)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Hello. My name is Tinyblu and I'm an introvert (waiting for the applause to subside)
For years, I was convinced this was a bad thing because the common misconception about us is that we slink into a corner and try to blend in with the paint. Quite the contrary. Though some introverts fit this description, many function well in social situations. In my case, I have been known to work a room quite well, but if I had my choice, I would rather have an intimate dinner and stimulating conversation with my close friends versus a meaningless pow-wow with a bunch of strangers.
So... for every hour that I spend GIVING myself (because of my natural propensity to like smaller groups), I find that I almost always need at least 2 hours or "me time" to recover. I wondered for years why I found sales so exhausting. I was decent at it and actually made good money, but nothing pleased me more than to get back in the car and spend the 2 hour drive to my next appointment in complete silence or pick up some take-out on the way to the hotel du jour only to bask in the blessed quietness of my room.
We're not weird. Actually, we're quite gifted (do the names Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerburg ring a bell?), but what is an introvert to do when faced with the daunting task of trying to find employment? If the statistics are true, most jobs are filled by the time they are advertised, so networking is key.
That's great for someone who has that rolodex of business cards to turn to or that list of "friends" to call once they've been let go, but what about folks like me who don't have that stack of business cards (I only take business cards from people that I actually INTEND to call), or who can count their FRIENDS on one hand?
I have less than 50 Facebook friends (when my page is actually active). I don't Tweet. I did join LinkedIn, but I was never really a popular face at work. Besides, very few of my jobs have been in an office setting. I kept business relationships just that... business (I've never been one to socialize much with co-workers)... not great for networking.
So... should I try to generate a rather false relationship with a group of people just to get something out of them (that seems so fake to me) or suffer through mindless small talk and handing out of business cards in order to beg for a job?
I am willing to try something different since my current job search is futile (with cleverly disguised eye rolling), but wondered if any other brave introverts could chime in and offer suggestions.
TO MY EXTROVERTED COUNTERPARTS: This post may seem harsh or even arrogant. I assure you that is not my intention (trust me, I have to explain my introverted tendencies A LOT). I just prefer intimate genuine relationships vs. forced, superficial ones.
P.S. Hey extroverts... have fun on Black Friday (BLECK) I will be curled up with a book!!!
I am quite introverted, but I have learned how to be appropriately social for networking events. One thing that comes particularly hard for me is small talk. I, like many introverts, am not particularly interested in small talk. I am perfectly happy with silences and what others might call "awkward pauses" - unless something really awkward just happened, I don't mind a bit of silence to contemplate what to say next. This, of course, can make it very difficult to mingle and meet people.
When job hunting after college, I failed at my first few networking event forays. Instead, I focused on volunteer work. I could build real relationships with people - both other volunteers and staff members at my organization - so it didn't feel fake. It also let me practice my elevator speech in a safe space and push myself into social situations that exhausted me to get practice while the stakes were low. For instance - hate talking on the phone? Get a volunteer gig answering phones or even cold calling. I'm now the go-to in my office if someone calls upset because I developed a good phone voice and communication style.
Now that I am employed, I've made it a priority to network. One thing that is helpful for me before going to conferences is to link into the conference chatter using Twitter. My network has expanded immensely thanks to Twitter (though my industry is digital communications and social media) because I made myself known before we were even in the event space and had a bunch of friendly faces to connect to once there. Then they introduced me to their network and it grew from there. From then on out, whenever I go to a networking event, I always see if there is any kind of Twitter "backchannel" (often in the form of a hashtag chat) and make initial connections that way. Then, I treat it like a game - show my value by introducing at least 2 people to a new person, meet 5 new people, get 10 business cards.
I also find common interest groups some of the best ways to network. Meetup.com has many common interest groups, or you could find it with a religious organization, volunteering, alumni events, political orgs, and more. You're building relationships based on common ground, and can expand those conversations into career topics. I'm more more likely to refer someone I volunteer with for a position at my company than even someone I worked with years ago who I have had minimal contact with since.
Building a network from scratch is the hardest part. Once you have a strategy and the start of a network, it will grow as long as you make it a priority.
I will also say that now people look at me in shock when I tell them that I am introverted. I come across as a people person in work activities - that's what I NEED to be to be successful at work so I've cultivated that image. And then I go home, shut my door, and decompress. My dad is one of the best networkers I've ever met, and he's also an extreme introvert. Introversion doesn't mean shyness or quietness, though. It just means we're motivated and energized by internal persuits. We might read a dozen books on networking before trying it out on our own. Different strokes, same end result.
I don't "actively" network. It simply doesn't fit my personality. To make up for it though, I'm very good at my job. And I'm generally able to get along with even the most difficult people.
People remember that and will sometimes give recommendation. IMO, there's nothing more valuable than a strong recommendation from someone you worked with.
I also have most of my former co-workers on linkedin. I'm sure that if I created a post asking if anyone knew of any open jobs, I'd get several suggestions.
I know it doesn't fully answer your question, but like I said, I just can't go to a networking event and start talking to random people. So my networking is more on the passive side, but it's worked for me so far!
I am quite introverted, but I have learned how to be appropriately social for networking events. One thing that comes particularly hard for me is small talk. I, like many introverts, am not particularly interested in small talk. I am perfectly happy with silences and what others might call "awkward pauses" - unless something really awkward just happened, I don't mind a bit of silence to contemplate what to say next. This, of course, can make it very difficult to mingle and meet people.
When job hunting after college, I failed at my first few networking event forays. Instead, I focused on volunteer work. I could build real relationships with people - both other volunteers and staff members at my organization - so it didn't feel fake. It also let me practice my elevator speech in a safe space and push myself into social situations that exhausted me to get practice while the stakes were low. For instance - hate talking on the phone? Get a volunteer gig answering phones or even cold calling. I'm now the go-to in my office if someone calls upset because I developed a good phone voice and communication style.
Now that I am employed, I've made it a priority to network. One thing that is helpful for me before going to conferences is to link into the conference chatter using Twitter. My network has expanded immensely thanks to Twitter (though my industry is digital communications and social media) because I made myself known before we were even in the event space and had a bunch of friendly faces to connect to once there. Then they introduced me to their network and it grew from there. From then on out, whenever I go to a networking event, I always see if there is any kind of Twitter "backchannel" (often in the form of a hashtag chat) and make initial connections that way. Then, I treat it like a game - show my value by introducing at least 2 people to a new person, meet 5 new people, get 10 business cards.
I also find common interest groups some of the best ways to network. Meetup.com has many common interest groups, or you could find it with a religious organization, volunteering, alumni events, political orgs, and more. You're building relationships based on common ground, and can expand those conversations into career topics. I'm more more likely to refer someone I volunteer with for a position at my company than even someone I worked with years ago who I have had minimal contact with since.
Building a network from scratch is the hardest part. Once you have a strategy and the start of a network, it will grow as long as you make it a priority.
I will also say that now people look at me in shock when I tell them that I am introverted. I come across as a people person in work activities - that's what I NEED to be to be successful at work so I've cultivated that image. And then I go home, shut my door, and decompress. My dad is one of the best networkers I've ever met, and he's also an extreme introvert. Introversion doesn't mean shyness or quietness, though. It just means we're motivated and energized by internal persuits. We might read a dozen books on networking before trying it out on our own. Different strokes, same end result.
This was SOOOOOOOO invaluable! Thank you so much! I am definitely going to take some pointers from this response. Though I'm not ready to jump on the Twitter wagon just yet, I do value finding a way to get to know some people before an event.
I absolutely can't stand small talk , but I think that very well may be hurting me in the long run. So many people have stated once they get to know me either 1) There's no way you're an introvert or 2) I thought you were so stuck up when I first met you. I'm actually forcing myself to go to a dinner next week for an organization that focuses on the industry in which I want to enter.
I totally understand that I can't expect anything different if I don't DO anything differently... we'll see what happens (already inwardly groaning)
I don't "actively" network. It simply doesn't fit my personality. To make up for it though, I'm very good at my job. And I'm generally able to get along with even the most difficult people.
People remember that and will sometimes give recommendation. IMO, there's nothing more valuable than a strong recommendation from someone you worked with.
I also have most of my former co-workers on linkedin. I'm sure that if I created a post asking if anyone knew of any open jobs, I'd get several suggestions.
I know it doesn't fully answer your question, but like I said, I just can't go to a networking event and start talking to random people. So my networking is more on the passive side, but it's worked for me so far!
That's helpful. I have started to reach out to some former co-workers, and I have gotten some positive feedback. Either that or "who are you?" Hahaha!
I understand and relate to you, Tinyblue. Same here, self-admitted introvert. Never good with crowds of people at parties. I can talk quite a bit when I am comfortable with someone, but center of attention - No.
Use Linkedin ever how you see it fit for your own situation. It has helped me get job interviews. It has taken me a long time to build a network. If you really need a job, you talk to whoever you can to get to that goal and the more people you talk to, the better you "put your name out there while job seeking." I think it takes talking to a lot of people and if small talk is a part of it, big deal. Listen closely to what they tell you. That is how I see networking.
Also, I would rather read a book at home any day than go shopping. agreed: Bleck.
I have a very simple psychological barrier when networking.
I'm quite introverted but I don't really mind smaltalk.
I just hate faking and hiding the fact that I'm trying to find a better job.
Even if I'm willing to help others, even if I'm putting a ton of effort to help a lot of people, I'm hoping someone, even maybe 1 out of the 10 I helped will help me back.
Hiding the fact that I want better opportunities is major cognitive dissonance and it makes it difficult to follow up while worrying that this hidden agenda will be discovered.
I'm an introvert but have no problems with the social skills required to get a job and do my job. What I don't like is how employers expect people to go above and beyond and place work as the #1 for everything and make it your top source for socializing. I think introversion can be a blessing when it comes to finding the right work environment and discovering what a workplace is really like, because I have a tendency to observe and find out how the "background" works.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My dad is one of the best networkers I've ever met, and he's also an extreme introvert. Introversion doesn't mean shyness or quietness, though. It just means we're motivated and energized by internal persuits. We might read a dozen books on networking before trying it out on our own. Different strokes, same end result.
, but I think that very well may be hurting me in the long run. So many people have stated once they get to know me either 1) There's no way you're an introvert or 2) I thought you were so stuck up when I first met you. I'm actually forcing myself to go to a dinner next week for an organization that focuses on the industry in which I want to enter.
