Ran into a boss who FIRED me years ago but was too afraid of him to say anything! (employee, 2013)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Here I am retired with a nice balance in my 401k and collecting Social Security and doing just fine financially.
So I am walking down a path at a local park and I look up and coming down the path right at me is one of the nastiest human beings I have ever experienced in my life. The man who fired me, then successfully fought my unemployment claim using lies, and made sure that that anyone at that employer would not say anything good about me so I could land on my feet and start over. Human Resources told all potential employers I was not eligible for rehire and was fired. (Yes, legally they can say that because it was true!)
At my termination, this guy was particularly harsh and mean. The official reason I was fired was I could not do the job at their expected standards. I worked 12 hours day and worked incredibly hard and did my best, but it was not good enough for them. We had an incredibly intense relationship for a number of years and talked multiple times a day.
It took me a year to get back into my career field because potential employees would be suspicious of anyone who had been fired from a job they held for five years. At reference check time, most potential employers insisted that they had to talk to my manager of five years before I would be considered. Many called him and he would not speak of me, if they got him on the phone, or would not return their phone messages.
Anyway, back to the park and September 2013. I always told myself that if I got back on my feet and ran into this terrible man again I would tell him off and make a scene. (I spent so many nights after my firing trying to think of ways I could have been a better employee and not be fired)
I had not seen him since, for over ten years, until last weekend. He looked so old, mean and ugly and he was with his wife and I was with my wife. Our eyes met and he looked at me funny and we kept walking and no words were spoken.
Would you have said something to him if it were you in my shoes?
Last edited by I'm Retired Now; 10-01-2013 at 12:23 PM..
Here I am retired with a nice balance in my 401k and collecting Social Security and doing just fine financially.
So I am walking down a path at a local park and I look up and coming down the path right at me is one of the nastiest human beings I have ever experienced in my life. The man who fired me, then successfully fought my unemployment claim using lies, and made sure that that anyone at that employer would not say anything good about me so I could land on my feet and start over. Human Resources told all potential employers I was not eligible for rehire and was fired. (Yes, legally they can say that because it was true!)
At my termination, this guy was particularly harsh and mean. The official reason I was fired was I could not due the job at their expected standards. I worked 12 hours day and worked incredibly hard and did my best, but it was not good enough for them. We had an incredibly intense relationship for a number of years and talked multiple times a day.
It took me a year to get back into my career field and make professional references because potential employees would be suspicious of anyone who had been fired from a job they held for five years. At reference check time most potential employers insisted that they had to talk to my manager of five years before I would be considered. Many called him and he would not speak of me, if they got him on the phone, or would not return their phone messages.
Anyway, back to the park and September 2013. I always told myself that if I got back on my feet and ran into this terrible man again I would tell him off and make a scene. (I spent so many nights after my firing trying to think of ways I could have been a better employee and not be fired)
I had not seen him since, for over ten years, until last weekend. He looked so old, mean and ugly and he was with his wife and I was with my wife. Our eyes met and he looked at me funny and we kept walking and no words were spoken.
Would you have said something to him if it were you in my shoes?
If he did all that to me and felt it was really unjustified, I would have said something long before I resurrected my career and retired.
BTW, I know this forum is funny like that, but how can a boss strongarm your colleagues into giving bad references? If he was that bad of a boss, then others there would agree and would try and help you.
Even so. Even if you were fired for being totally incompetent and petulant, most people would not hold a grudge like that. So, yea, I'd have told him off.
Oh yeah, I would have talked to him. He likely didn't want to talk to you. So I would have spoken to him because it would make him uncomfortable or upset. Now I would be nice and would go on and on about how great my life was. Basically I would have talked his ear off.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
44,715 posts, read 81,596,197 times
Reputation: 58053
No, it's not fair to either wife, neither of whom had anything to do with this. You handled it well, though I would have probably smiled and said hello just to make him feel more guilty.
Would you have said something to him if it were you in my shoes?
I would have done exactly what I did when I was in a situation very similar, nodded and said "Good Morning" and walked on. I hope you're not going to spend all your retirement days dwelling on all the past employment betrayals you seem to have experienced and which spurn new threads quite consistently.
I'd have walked right up to him, shook his hand and said "thank you for firing me, it was the BEST thing ever, I'm SOOOOO much more successful now! So thanks for being the terrible human being you are! I won the JOB LOTTERY after leaving your terrible management!" Then I would have laughed like a maniac while walking away
No, I would not have said anything. He would no longer be worth ANY time nor effort on my part. I would have walked right past him and not even acknowledged his presence. I can understand fantasizing about what you would say and how it would go, but honestly, it probably would not have provided the closure you are seeking.
I owe nothing to past employers, not even respect, I might have had to kiss butt while working for someone, however it ends there the moment I walk out the door and no longer need a reference of course.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
