Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
No, I would not have said anything. He would no longer be worth ANY time nor effort on my part. I would have walked right past him and not even acknowledged his presence. I can understand fantasizing about what you would say and how it would go, but honestly, it probably would not have provided the closure you are seeking.
I agree, It was a long time ago and clearly you weathered that storm anyway. Enjoying your walk through the park knowing this-win!
If any of my managers from my former job were stranded on the side of the road, I would drive right past them. Heck, if most of them were on fire, I wouldn't pee on them to put them out. They destroyed my career and everything I worked for in life simply because they were too cowardly to protect the workers in the department from layoffs - or, they were directly part of the problem and helped keep all the connected idiots, criminals, and scumballs while targeting hard workers who were not connected. Either way, they deserve nothing from me - no help, no pity, and no mercy.
As for telling them about it, it's probably not worth it - immoral cowards simply don't understand the concept of right and wrong. In short, calling them dishonorable gutless scum won't really offend them simply because they have no sense of right or wrong - they are true sociopaths. So, at least for me, it wouldn't be worth the effort. Still, if there was some way to publicly humiliate them - to make it clear to all the world that they are not to be trusted - that would be far more fun then just telling them off.
It's fun to think of all the outrageous ways that I would react to something like that, but I know that, in all honesty, I would handle that awkward situation the same way that you did.
I know this because I had a similar scenario occur where I ran into this horrid, horrid guy that had hurt me pretty badly just a few weeks earlier, and my instinctual reaction when I saw him was to duck out of sight. His reaction was to turn his back to me and whisper to his buddy who was there with him to go in the opposite direction from me.
Most of us dream of confrontation but rarely actually go for it when we have the opportunity. Frankly, I think that's a good thing.
No, it's not fair to either wife, neither of whom had anything to do with this. You handled it well, though I would have probably smiled and said hello just to make him feel more guilty.
Quote:
Originally Posted by STT Resident
I would have done exactly what I did when I was in a situation very similar, nodded and said "Good Morning" and walked on. I hope you're not going to spend all your retirement days dwelling on all the past employment betrayals you seem to have experienced and which spurn new threads quite consistently.
What they said ^. I'd let it go. OP, you said your life turned out well, so what's the point of dredging up negative things from your past? Take the higher road, and enjoy your retirement.
.
__________________
My posts as a Moderator will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS And check this out: FAQ
Moderator of Canada (and sub-fora), Illinois (and sub-fora), Indiana (and sub-fora), Caregiving, Community Chat, Fashion & Beauty, Hair Care, Games/Trivia, History, Nature, Non-romantic Relationships, Psychology, Travel, Work & Employment, Writing.
___________________________
~ Life's a gift. Don't waste it. ~
Something like this happened to me a couple of months ago. I had a manager I absolutely detested. She was mean spirited, unprofessional and at times made my life unpleasant for no clear reason. I later retired and moved across country to San Diego.
Five years after retirement I was walking along the beach with my wife and grand daughter and there she was, sitting on the beach with her spouse/boyfriend. She saw me and I swear her jaw dropped about a foot possibly anticipating that I would say something. I just walked by, totally ignoring her, and never said a word.
Whenever I run into someone that I have had a difficult relationship with, I always enthusiastically greet them like they were a long lost friend. They never know how to handle it and it always cracks me up to see their jaw drop and stammer a reply.
You did the right thing. As others have mentioned, the only other "right way" to have handled it would have been if you could have found it within yourself to walk over to him and say "Well, hello there! How are you? How is life treating you?" and acted like there was no earthly reason for you to have any animosity towards him, as you had moved on with your life . . . and he was just a blip on the radar screen.
Folks such as this guy, who are revengeful and full of venom, are always taken back when others demonstrate that the impact he had on them was minimal (even if the opposite is the truth!). They take glee in thinking they have "ruined" someone - so by acting like he had no effect on your longterm happiness and welfare, it takes his power away.
I have had to deal with encounters such as this, but not with former employers - with 2 politicians who affected my job (and later job loss, and loss of my employees' jobs, as well). I was bitterly angry for years, but when the time came that we crossed paths, and in a very public way, I put on quite the show (I am told) and looked like "the bigger person" (again, I was told this) in a public arena, where many others knew the history between us. In fact, a photo was taken and run in local media showing me shaking hands with one of these miscreants, who did finally get exposed -- but 10 years after that photo.
I was shaking in my boots, so to speak, when I took a deep breath and decided to put on my little show to demonstrate that "I am a successful person today despite your machinations." It worked. Deer caught in headlights on the one man's part. Great satisfaction for me over the years.
You have every reason to feel resentment for that hateful ba$tard who tried to ruin your life, but the real triumph is in knowing your survived and prospered despite the harm he tried to perpetrate.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
