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And TotallyTam wrote a beautiful letter for you. It would probably be lost on the family who sound as if their minds are made up, but it might help you a lot if you used it as a model to ask your (obviously embarrassed) former employer to give you a good recommendation.
Be super polite to him. He's made it clear this wasn't his choice, but he certainly can be an aid to you in getting another job if you give him reason and time to be. I'd suggest sending him a very professional letter asking him to put his recommendation in writing and that you would appreciate his mentioning that you never missed a day's work the entire 10 months you were with him and you were never late. Those issues are important to people hiring in the field of private home-health.
There's no reason for him to mention why your employment with him ceased. The kind of position you had is often of limited length. If someone asks you, just calmly state that his wife's health situation required that she have a nurse with particular experience you don't have. And if you are pressed on what that experience is, say regretfully that you are not in a position to speak about your former employer's private affairs. Which is the truth. She needs a nurse her sister approves of and you lack that one qualification; discretion (an important factor in your line of work) dictates that you not discuss her situation.
I would suspect that the unfortunate issue of your being fired on Christmas Eve only had to do with him seeing these extended family members over the holiday. He doesn't sound like the kind of person who would choose that day.
He no doubt doesn't want the legal hassle his wife's family is threatening him with. In the end you will probably be better off in another position. This experience and a good reference will help you get one. Your talents are in short supply.
Best of luck! This is really not a reflection on you. It's a reflection on your patient's family and their hysteria level. I guess he wasn't exaggerating when he said his SIL is a drama queen. Keep your head high and behave like a true professional. You'll recover from this.
I wonder what role these family members(especially the twin sister) have in assisting with caregiving? Most likely not too much.
I will be honest I wouldn't be too thrilled with someone who had a criminal past working in my home, but what this hysterical twin sister most likely didn't consider is the bond that has been formed between her ill sister and the OP over the last several months.
It can be very upsetting to an ill or elderly person if a paid caregiver that they have formed a relationship is suddenly removed out of their home without notice.
I would also imagine the husband/boss has POA over his wife and it is his home. He could have told these relatives to butt out and that both his wife and him are happy with the OP.
I would be willing to bet that these relatives wouldn't start want to volunteering their time to come in and take care of the wife in lieu of losing this paid caregiver.
I would hire the best person for the job
If it's a person on probation,so be it!
A person on Probation is less likely to **** you over,he has everything to lose.
Sorry you lost your job man.
Keep you head up and stay positive
Yeah, I would throw a fit if someone on probation was my sister's nurse.
You weren't asked the question.
OP, I'm so sorry this happened to you but of course it's legal. Unfortunately people are unbelievably judgmental and this man had his whole family backing him up against a wall with no escape. Being on probation for a minor offense and obviously with the favorable backing of your PO, I do hope he'll write you a good reference and that you'll soon be able to find something else. All the best.
I know it's perfectly possible to be on parole and not be a "danger to society" (I know one person who is on parole for child-support arrears), but I'd agree with others who suggest asking for a reference and moving on. Unfortunately, being on parole is viewed by some as equivalent to being a murderer, and you are not going to change people's minds about that.
The other comment I'd make is that depending on the state where you live, the workforce development agency and/or the corrections agency may have a program specifically designed to help folks in your position land new jobs. I assume you'll be filing for unemployment, and when you do so, you might ask about such things. They may not exist in your state, but it doesn't hurt to ask anyway.
Oh my, sorry to hear this. It sounds like you did a very good job for this family. I can see how it feels like a kick in the teeth. It sounds like the man who hired you was fair minded and wanted to give you a chance after your legal troubles. As much as it sucks, I am fairly certain firing you was legal. The first thing I thought of after reading your post was---how about addressing the situation via a nicely written letter to the whole family? I envision it reading something like this:
Dear ____ Family,
It goes without saying that I was shocked and saddened by my sudden dismissal on Christmas Eve. I have been taking care of <name> for ten months and believed I was doing an excellent job. In fact, I took pride in what I was doing, was careful to see that <name> was receiving the utmost in care and attention. It was my honor to provide a service that so few are really good at and enjoy.
About my legal troubles. I feel that all of you have the right to know more details about why I am on probation. I explained my situation to <lady's husband's name> and we came to an agreement about how I could best help his wife without having my past interfere with her daily care. But let me explain my situation to everyone. <Use this area to explain....>
If you find it difficult to find a replacement caregiver, please know that I would gladly come back to care for <name>. I am also open to answering any questions anyone in the family may have about me or my legal status. I think if we all sit down together, get to know each other better, we can work this out. I sincerely hope you will reconsider your decision. I promise to live up to your expectations and work hard and provide the very best care for <name>. I know it's a lot to ask, but giving someone a second chance is a nobel task that few people are capable of commiting to. But I am asking you, the ___ family, to give me that chance. I will not let you down.
Anyway, you get the gist. They may reconsider---I hope so. It's difficult to find good, reliable people to do this type of work. I suspect they may already regret their hasty decision.
This is a wonderfully written letter. It certainly wouldn't hurt to try to get your job back (especially if they are having a hard time replacing you with someone new). A lot depends on your crime. perhaps the sister made it seem much, much worse to the rest of the family.
It is unsetting that you were fired on Christmas eve. As another poster mentioned the family probably got together over the holidays and discussed it.
You were sandbagged by a nutcase through no fault of your own. Ask your former boss for a letter of introduction and recommendation. Then work toward getting another position. You might look for an education program leading to some form of certification as well.
Good luck.
PS. I was fired once for telling my boss that proselytizing was not appropriate at work and I already had a religion.
Oh my, sorry to hear this. It sounds like you did a very good job for this family. I can see how it feels like a kick in the teeth. It sounds like the man who hired you was fair minded and wanted to give you a chance after your legal troubles. As much as it sucks, I am fairly certain firing you was legal. The first thing I thought of after reading your post was---how about addressing the situation via a nicely written letter to the whole family? I envision it reading something like this:
Dear ____ Family,
It goes without saying that I was shocked and saddened by my sudden dismissal on Christmas Eve. I have been taking care of <name> for ten months and believed I was doing an excellent job. In fact, I took pride in what I was doing, was careful to see that <name> was receiving the utmost in care and attention. It was my honor to provide a service that so few are really good at and enjoy.
About my legal troubles. I feel that all of you have the right to know more details about why I am on probation. I explained my situation to <lady's husband's name> and we came to an agreement about how I could best help his wife without having my past interfere with her daily care. But let me explain my situation to everyone. <Use this area to explain....>
If you find it difficult to find a replacement caregiver, please know that I would gladly come back to care for <name>. I am also open to answering any questions anyone in the family may have about me or my legal status. I think if we all sit down together, get to know each other better, we can work this out. I sincerely hope you will reconsider your decision. I promise to live up to your expectations and work hard and provide the very best care for <name>. I know it's a lot to ask, but giving someone a second chance is a nobel task that few people are capable of commiting to. But I am asking you, the ___ family, to give me that chance. I will not let you down.
Anyway, you get the gist. They may reconsider---I hope so. It's difficult to find good, reliable people to do this type of work. I suspect they may already regret their hasty decision.
Thanks so much for the reply.. And for the letter.. Yeah they are certainly regretting it already..my boss (the husband) has texted me several times.. He wants § needs me back so badly but his back is against the wall. This whole situation is so unfair and the lady I've cared for for so long is the one that suffers in the end..because we were so by close & I know she doesn't understand what's going on at all!
Quote:
Originally Posted by beera
I'm really sorry you got fired, but unfortunately that can happen
My suggestion is to use him as a reference and hope that he'll say nothing but good things about you.
Is the boss a family member? Is he the husband of the person you take care of?
Honestly, I don't know what you did, but IMO it shows that he was reasonable to hire you because he did a background check on you, spoke to your probation officer, etc, but then again, family is family and sometimes people allow themselves to be bullied by family.
I hope you find another job soon.
@odanny yes I agree.. And he was very reluctant but did what he had to do to keep the peace in the family. We are still very close (the boss & I) ,I that kind of length of time & work..you tend to get really close..I hold no hard feelings for him at all, and he emailed me a wonderful Letter of Recommendation , I was never really angry.. I was very hurt by the situation, he regrets it a lot..he texted me yesterday,talking about not being able to find someone his wife likes... Ill certainly always remain close to both of them .
Last edited by Count David; 01-02-2013 at 07:42 AM..
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Ouch
