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Most of my work experience took place in a store owned by my parents, where co-workers were essentially family or the closest thing to family. The store closed around New Year's Day 2011 due to slow business, mounting debts, a drug-addicted installer, etc. As I was diagnosed with a terminal medical condition my senior year of university (2009; I graduated in 2010) and judged that it would not be in my interests to lose my state health insurance at the current time, I set my goals low and started at a large department store as a night stocker last month.
I am the slowest one on the team - ridiculously slow, but I try my hardest. That grates on me like you wouldn't believe. I plan on seeking other employment very soon, but this is my job for now, though, and considering that it is a "seasonal" position, there seems to be no point in quitting. Another major strain that I have found is the challenge I encounter in interacting and socializing with my co-workers during breaks (and the few other "free times"). They seem so standoffish and reserved as to be rude and hostile. I tried to sit at a table once during break, only to learn that "x usually sits there"; I apologized and attempted to sit at the next seat over, but was told that "y usually sits there". Co-workers - normally around or a little bit younger than my own age (25) - respond to my attempts at conversation about normal subjects - the weather, what their position is today, personal experiences, TV and movies, etc. - with glares or monosyllabic responses or thinly-veiled laughter. On the other hand, they talk with one another freely.
Part of this might be resentment at the fact that I work so slowly, but many of those whom I seldom work with act much the same. Likewise, the first day of training, when I met my "trainer" (a normal employee who has worked at the store for a fair amount of time), I could not get any normal conversation out of him. He was strictly business (but not with my co-trainee). In fact, it seems that the only nice co-workers are generally work alongside me (or are near retirement age).
One other thing that really grates on me is the fact that a sizable percentage of workers are on their smartphones ALL of the time at our two nightly breaks. Sure, when you can't use them on the job, and it's understandable that you would use them for some time during break. When everybody is only interacting with their established clique, however, and not those around them, a valuable form of building relationships seems to be lost.
This actually recalls my experiences at university. In most of the classes I took throughout my four years, I was one of the few who raised my hand and participated in class discussions. Sometimes the silence at a professor's question to the class would become so overwhelming that I would feel forced to do so. What I took home from my experience in college is that most people around here only desire to socialize with their own clique, who provides a sufficient outlet for their social needs. (I came to develop a "clique" of my own, but it largely consisted of international students.) This seems to re-affirm that observation. Older adults, though, tend to be less this way, perhaps because social ties with friends are weakened as they marry and have children, and then when the children leave they are left with only their spouse.
Yes, but I also do understand that building a relationship between two people can take time. My very job was for a night stock position. I was the new guy. Most of my co-workers have been working together for several years. Did I feel like an outsider looking in for a couple of months? YES. I did not let that bother me though. I went into work and did my job. If one of my co-workers walked past me I would say "how's it going"? or any type of simple greeting. After a while, just being around these people I found what they like to do and could engage them in conversation and they would engage back.
Most of my work experience took place in a store owned by my parents, where co-workers were essentially family or the closest thing to family. The store closed around New Year's Day 2011 due to slow business, mounting debts, a drug-addicted installer, etc. As I was diagnosed with a terminal medical condition my senior year of university (2009; I graduated in 2010) and judged that it would not be in my interests to lose my state health insurance at the current time, I set my goals low and started at a large department store as a night stocker last month.
I am the slowest one on the team - ridiculously slow, but I try my hardest. That grates on me like you wouldn't believe. I plan on seeking other employment very soon, but this is my job for now, though, and considering that it is a "seasonal" position, there seems to be no point in quitting. Another major strain that I have found is the challenge I encounter in interacting and socializing with my co-workers during breaks (and the few other "free times"). They seem so standoffish and reserved as to be rude and hostile. I tried to sit at a table once during break, only to learn that "x usually sits there"; I apologized and attempted to sit at the next seat over, but was told that "y usually sits there". Co-workers - normally around or a little bit younger than my own age (25) - respond to my attempts at conversation about normal subjects - the weather, what their position is today, personal experiences, TV and movies, etc. - with glares or monosyllabic responses or thinly-veiled laughter. On the other hand, they talk with one another freely.
Part of this might be resentment at the fact that I work so slowly, but many of those whom I seldom work with act much the same. Likewise, the first day of training, when I met my "trainer" (a normal employee who has worked at the store for a fair amount of time), I could not get any normal conversation out of him. He was strictly business (but not with my co-trainee). In fact, it seems that the only nice co-workers are generally work alongside me (or are near retirement age).
One other thing that really grates on me is the fact that a sizable percentage of workers are on their smartphones ALL of the time at our two nightly breaks. Sure, when you can't use them on the job, and it's understandable that you would use them for some time during break. When everybody is only interacting with their established clique, however, and not those around them, a valuable form of building relationships seems to be lost.
This actually recalls my experiences at university. In most of the classes I took throughout my four years, I was one of the few who raised my hand and participated in class discussions. Sometimes the silence at a professor's question to the class would become so overwhelming that I would feel forced to do so. What I took home from my experience in college is that most people around here only desire to socialize with their own clique, who provides a sufficient outlet for their social needs. (I came to develop a "clique" of my own, but it largely consisted of international students.) This seems to re-affirm that observation. Older adults, though, tend to be less this way, perhaps because social ties with friends are weakened as they marry and have children, and then when the children leave they are left with only their spouse.
Is this normal in your experience?
I worked as a night stocker for 6 months or so before moving on to better things (at target)... Before that I worked as a day stocker for 2 different companies for 2 years.
I think you should just do the work-- and not worry about others. You will not be in this position your whole life (or lets hope you aren't). You should view this as a stepping stone on to greater things and jobs.
You said you were at University-- what did you get your degree in?
Stocking at night is great because during the day you can look for new jobs (typically career oriented jobs... stocking, is not a career)
And yes, when you work low-wage jobs you will typically run into "standoff-ish" people... so nothing out of the ordinary there.
The heck with the coworkers. Just be pleasantly professional and work the best you can. Don't try to socialize; they all but shut you down then. Read a few pages from a book during breaks. Meditate (with your eyes open; it's possible and could bring some peace).
You'll be fine.
Your friends are at home; work for money. Oh, and have a merry Christmas.
I think you are just more mature than your age, in part because of your life experiences, working for your folks, and also because of your illness. My son was the same way after having a life and death experience. Don't worry about inconsequential ppl, be your kind, hardworking self. You will see it pay off in the future.Think of these interactions as a learning experience, in how not to treat ppl. Also, it is always nice to see young ppl that do not practice age descrimination, you can learn something from everyone you work w/. I really have always enjoyed ppl of all ages, and now as an older person (nearly 60) I still enjoy all ages, but the lack of work ethic in many of our young folks really disturbs me. You are proubibly showing those young folks up, simply in your dedication to doing a good job. Faster isn't always better, accuracy is important too. Be happy w/ yourself. I hope you are recovered, and have a great Christmas.
I'm sorry about what you've experienced over the past few years, but set all that aside, and you would have found the same thing you are experiencing now even if your career path had been different. Most of the working world isn't 'like family'. Most organizations are simply too large and too transitory to foster close relationships. Newcomers will always feel somewhat out of place, not knowing the organizations habits and customs. Smartphones are ubiquitous. People use them all the time everywhere, not just on their breaks.
Your situation might be slightly more pronounced--night shifts tend to attract the less social personalities, and stock work does too, so you've got twice the probability of having coworkers who don't wish to chat. But beyond that, what you describe is simply newbie syndrome in the workplace. Add to that, it's the type of job people tend not to keep very long, so workers have little vested interest in establishing links that they might try in another kind of job.
Instead of trying to initiate the conversation try stepping back a bit. They will get to know you even if you don't converse. Your mannerisms and behaviors will be their cues and over time, they'll warm to you. It sounds perhaps as if you're trying too hard.
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