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Your friends are at home; work for money. Oh, and have a merry Christmas.
Agreed. I have worked in the same place for over 5 years. I don't attend holiday parties and rarely "socialize" with my co-workers. I am 100% focused on my own stuff.
I'm sorry for what you've been experiencing. You've been given good advice here and the only thing I can add is to recognize that your feelings are hurt by your co-workers' behavior. Then decide whether you want to try to change their behavior or just accept it and do nothing about it.
Accepting it, as most have suggested, is the easiest way to deal with it -- but trying to change it may give you some valuable life experience. Of course, changing others' behavior is never easy and can open you up to more hurt -- but it can be done, to some degree, with most people.
As someone else posted, you can make very small talk, like "How are you today" -- and keep saying that, even if all you get back in the beginning is a grunt. Gradually progress from there. You may never be part of their clique but they may at least start responding to you with courtesy.
You may well have to deal with unpleasant people at every job you have in the future. So learning how to do it now will serve you well down the road. Good Luck!
One other suggestion.... it often helps if you can change your mindset about your co-workers and what kind of behavior you expect from them.
Instead of anticipating that they're going to be rude and/or ignore you, expect -- really expect -- them to smile and say "Fine" in response to your "How are you today?" Do that every day, even if you get a grunt or no reply at all the first few times.
When you expect a positive reaction, your whole body reflects it and puts off positive vibes. And, if you expect a negative reaction, that's written all over your face and body too.
Most of my work experience took place in a store owned by my parents, where co-workers were essentially family or the closest thing to family. The store closed around New Year's Day 2011 due to slow business, mounting debts, a drug-addicted installer, etc. As I was diagnosed with a terminal medical condition my senior year of university (2009; I graduated in 2010) and judged that it would not be in my interests to lose my state health insurance at the current time, I set my goals low and started at a large department store as a night stocker last month.
I am the slowest one on the team - ridiculously slow, but I try my hardest. That grates on me like you wouldn't believe. I plan on seeking other employment very soon, but this is my job for now, though, and considering that it is a "seasonal" position, there seems to be no point in quitting. Another major strain that I have found is the challenge I encounter in interacting and socializing with my co-workers during breaks (and the few other "free times"). They seem so standoffish and reserved as to be rude and hostile. I tried to sit at a table once during break, only to learn that "x usually sits there"; I apologized and attempted to sit at the next seat over, but was told that "y usually sits there". Co-workers - normally around or a little bit younger than my own age (25) - respond to my attempts at conversation about normal subjects - the weather, what their position is today, personal experiences, TV and movies, etc. - with glares or monosyllabic responses or thinly-veiled laughter. On the other hand, they talk with one another freely.
Part of this might be resentment at the fact that I work so slowly, but many of those whom I seldom work with act much the same. Likewise, the first day of training, when I met my "trainer" (a normal employee who has worked at the store for a fair amount of time), I could not get any normal conversation out of him. He was strictly business (but not with my co-trainee). In fact, it seems that the only nice co-workers are generally work alongside me (or are near retirement age).
One other thing that really grates on me is the fact that a sizable percentage of workers are on their smartphones ALL of the time at our two nightly breaks. Sure, when you can't use them on the job, and it's understandable that you would use them for some time during break. When everybody is only interacting with their established clique, however, and not those around them, a valuable form of building relationships seems to be lost.
This actually recalls my experiences at university. In most of the classes I took throughout my four years, I was one of the few who raised my hand and participated in class discussions. Sometimes the silence at a professor's question to the class would become so overwhelming that I would feel forced to do so. What I took home from my experience in college is that most people around here only desire to socialize with their own clique, who provides a sufficient outlet for their social needs. (I came to develop a "clique" of my own, but it largely consisted of international students.) This seems to re-affirm that observation. Older adults, though, tend to be less this way, perhaps because social ties with friends are weakened as they marry and have children, and then when the children leave they are left with only their spouse.
Is this normal in your experience?
It has been my experience that the lower mentality the people, the more they behave in the manner you describe. The "older" people who are nicer, friendlier and easier to communicate with, most likely are working this job for economic reasons and have had full, interesting lives prior to this engagement. Whereas the low-mentality younger people you are dealing with have no world experience and do not understand that more intelligent, capable people actually develop social skills and learn how to communicate effectively.
Since this is a seasonable position, just hang in there and make the best of it. Bring a book to read on break or a journal and spend your time improving your life and mind. Let the cretins you work with play their little games.
Hang in there young man, you just visit w/ the people that are decent and nice. There is an old saying, "Don't look for people you like, look for people like you". Don't bother w/ the clique, they are not worth the trouble. Smile, say Hello, but gravitate towards the decent hard workers.
Actually, over the last few shifts I've worked with friendlier people, usually new, seasonal employees like myself. I've also come to the realization that my co-workers may not be as bad as I painted them as - maybe it's really a few "bad apples" that stand out. An example would be one time (subsequent to my original post) when I greeted - to be friendly - a co-worker (who actually trained with me) with a "where have you been?" She usually works in my zone, and arrived there about 40 minutes late with a couple of other co-workers. It was a completely natural question to ask. Rather than reply with an intelligent answer ("I was in sporting goods"), she smugly responded "What's it to you?" Of course, I restrained myself from proferring an answer containing an archaic term for a female dog.
I'm scheduled to work only two days next week, and needless to say, I'm very contented with that.
... when I greeted - to be friendly - a co-worker (who actually trained with me) with a "where have you been?" She usually works in my zone, and arrived there about 40 minutes late with a couple of other co-workers. It was a completely natural question to ask. Rather than reply with an intelligent answer ("I was in sporting goods"), she smugly responded "What's it to you?" .
Got to be careful about asking coworkers "where have you been?". It may appear that you are keeping track of their every move. This could appear that you are tracking if they are late, or what they're doing, who they are hanging out with, how long are their bathroom breaks or smoke breaks, did they have a meeting with someone, etc. Nobody wants to be tracked by a peer.
You aren't doing that, and you just made a comment to meant to be friendly. But your words can easily be taken the wrong way.
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