Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm African American and I can't tell you how many times I get confused for the only other black guy in the office. We look nothing alike! He's skinny and has facial hair. I'm probably 40 lbs heavier than him with a clean shave. It makes me want to scream sometimes, but I never have gotten offended by it. More a pain in the a$$ type of deal but I certainly wouldn't leave my job over it.
Another case: I have a supervisor who I really respect, but lately she had been cracking jokes about how "white" I act. Mind yout this is a Anglo lady. Now I like to think I'm pretty professional but acting "white"? Um, okay. Maybe I should come in blaring rap music and talking street. Yes that would get me far in life lol. Especially in my industry (oil and gas). Its a weird situation, but sometimes you really can't get offended at that stuff. Race at work is complicated. Anything short of an ugly slur should just be shrugged off. And personally speaking, it is nice to know that people around me don't have to walk on eggshells with me regarding race. I do have some family and friends who are not as lucky and it makes for a very uncomfortable workplace.
I'm an equal opportunity racist. I make fun of everyone including my own race. The fact is, we're all racist whether we care to admit it or not. We can be as liberal, progressive or as open minded as we say we are but at the end of the day, we steer towards certain stereotypes. Search your soul Skywalker, you know this to be true.
Yes, I did confront my manager about 15 minutes after that remark. At that point, I did not care if I was going to get fired or not because I was that upset. He said well blame it on the comedy TV show, The Family Guy and not me. That was the comedy show he was talking about. The thing is that from my memory from watching that show with him, it was not like how he described it.
But what really upset me is that how he described Asian people when he was talking to the other manager. He, said, you know how Asians look all alike.
Twice you mention that you watched the show WITH him.
If you are watching TV together, am I correct in assuming you socialize outside the workplace? If so, could it be that your manager is feeling that you are friends and that he can take liberties like making comments of this nature because he thinks you will understand he doesn't mean any harm by it?
If the OP got a very negative performance review, not even 2 weeks before this incident at work, I would think that could constitute a hostile work environment.
I don't know how you could say that without more information...the job review may have been warranted.
The comment was undoubtedly insenstive at best, but I still wouldn't say these two incidents alone constituted a "hostile" work environment. Maybe if it was a regular occurence....but if one negative job review + one stupid comment is all there is and otherwise everything is OK, then...well, then I think that's ridiculously PC and oversensitive.
Mind you my background is primarily blue collar or military (Seabee, no less). Maybe that's different....but I speak from the perspective of a female who's been in "non-traditional" work for over 30 years so I am not exactly a stranger to the concept. And I joined the USNR right after Tailhook. Sometimes a little mental toughness will take a person or a cause further than filing lawsuits or whatever.
NB: I'm not at all insinuating the OP is being oversensitive, because I don't know. He seems quite reasonable.
Location: Moose Jaw, in between the Moose's butt and nose.
5,152 posts, read 8,545,836 times
Reputation: 2038
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007
People toss this type of activity around in conversation as a good option - it's not and you better make darn sure you have a pretty hefty case in your favor because 1. You are looking at spending at least $10,000 in legal fees upfront to sue your employer and 2. You will have one heck of a time finding another job. No one, and I mean no one wants to hire someone who sues their employer no matter what the reason and you become a red checkmark to risk management in every place you would apply to. Oh, and if you are looking to coworkers who are your 'friends' that overheard or agree with you behind closed doors, forget about them, once the door opens - you will be completely on your own. It's every man for himself in these situations.
Hostile work environment and suing your employer will give you a better risk of being on welfare than lining your pockets for the rest of your life.
How would other employers, except in the same town in a small industry, know?
I'd advise you to stand down Chinaman and let that insult go.
Do you recall the research study a few years ago? They found that babies are much more likely to distinguish faces from their own race, than from other races.
Save your battles for something a little more diabolical.
50 lashes followed by 20 years of hard labor in a penal colony. He might be a repeat offender and strike again otherwise.
I am 6'5" with size 15 feet. I have heard thousands of snarky remarks in my life. Yes....it is rude. Yes....it is offensive. I wake up the next day and nothing has changed.
But you can be pretty sure that someone, somewhere is offended by something that you do or say.
If you let people define your happiness, you will find more than your share of misery.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Sometimes a little mental toughness will take a person or a cause further than filing lawsuits or whatever.
