Raising Children in Seattle-Bellevue vs. West LA/Manhattan: Atmosphere/aura/experience ??? (Tacoma: rent, mattresses)

[soci3tycat]

Originally Posted by Seacove

Are your posts based on what you plan to do 3-5 years from now? Where you'll raise your children and schools ten years from now? Your opinions and life circumstances could be quite different 3-5 years from now. With so many coming out of law school, you may not want to practice law when you come out. I have friends with J.D.s that have chosen a different field after they completed their degree.

I understand your concern. I covered this in a separate post, but his family is a large shareholder in a Seattle-based company. We will be working for one of the law firms handling the company's account. Seattle especially is a difficult legal market to break into without being from the state or having ties.

[Inkpoe]

I went to Newport HS and I can tell you that there were definitely kids of privilege with a warped view on life. Some of the stories I've told people about those kids left them really shocked and annoyed. You're not getting away from elitist attitudes by going public. Its all about the way you raise your kids. Raise your kids with wholesome values and encourage them to volunteer. And yes, its possible to raise wholesome kids, even in Bellevue.

One thing about the private schools here is that they do encourage lower income to come in. They offer a lot of scholarships and such for them. And yes, they also do emphasize community and humanitarian causes.

Yes there are charitable events here, all kinds of them. Who cares about the ones that are frequented by High Society? There are plenty of opportunities to get involved, regardless of how much income you have.

[soci3tycat]

Originally Posted by tobester

We all have different needs ... for my five kids, I purposely sought out high schools that de-empahsized AP classes and stressed excellence for all students. And, defining best teachers is another hornet's nest ... good luck on that one.

Most important to my family is that the school has an established program for successful students, whether in a magnet school program or an all-successful school. To me, it doesn't matter what the socioeconomic status or race that student group may be. I don't think you can always have great teachers in every single class, even at a top academic institution (K-12 or even college, etc). We can and will hire supplementary tutors when necessary. I would try to work on it with my child first though before resorting to a tutor.

[Seacove]

Originally Posted by soci3tycat

I understand your concern. I covered this in a separate post, but his family is a large shareholder in a Seattle-based company. We will be working for one of the law firms handling the company's account. Seattle especially is a difficult legal market to break into without being from the state or having ties.

If you're making plans for where your children will go to school ten years from now, that's great. I'm sure you know a lot can happen in a decade.

[soci3tycat]

Originally Posted by Inkpoe

I went to Newport HS and I can tell you that there were definitely kids of privilege with a warped view on life. Some of the stories I've told people about those kids left them really shocked and annoyed. You're not getting away from elitist attitudes by going public. Its all about the way you raise your kids. Raise your kids with wholesome values and encourage them to volunteer. And yes, its possible to raise wholesome kids, even in Bellevue. One thing about the private schools here is that they do encourage lower income to come in. They offer a lot of scholarships and such for them. And yes, they also do emphasize community and humanitarian causes. Yes there are charitable events here, all kinds of them. Who cares about the ones that are frequented by High Society? There are plenty of opportunities to get involved, regardless of how much income you have.

@Inkpoe, While I completely agree with your last point on who cares who is involved with the charity. However, in my situation, I will be built into certain major charities attended by that society, so it matters to me. It's his family thing for 2 generations, we will have to attend them when we are there. I don't have much of a choice on that front, my bf's family is very present in the Seattle community and with these charities. Like I said in another post, his family is a major donor to a number of Seattle-based universities and hospitals. I know part of it is business, but I don't know how much of it is heartfelt. I ask on here, because he may not be able to give an un-biased answer to me. If I'm going to be around Seattle society often, it's important for me to know this about them and perhaps avoid it/pick a different city where I won't have such obligations to be around certain people.

If I'm really misinformed on Seattle, we can get a transfer and work in the firm's branch in another city.

And I'm also like "......" when I hear some things from overly-privileged individuals. I get that people know what they grew up with... but some things seem common sense. A few weeks ago, my friend (went to a NY boarding school) told me she was really surprised when she went to college and no one had security detail. What? I mean, even if it was normal at your K-12 for this, isn't it common sense that not everyone in life lives like that? One of my bf's high school colleagues bought a home recently--he is 23. It's unusual, but he doesn't seem to know it.

[soci3tycat]

Originally Posted by Seacove

If you're making plans for where your children will go to school ten years from now, that's great. I'm sure you know a lot can happen in a decade.

Yes, this is true. I'm not sure if a some parts of a city's aura or attitude changes much, regardless of a decade or not, though. Hopefully, they always change for the better, but it's not always the case. I'm hoping my positive notions about Seattle are true, though... but I posted to try and find out from locals.

[soci3tycat]

Originally Posted by Ira500

But you don't have kids yet, right?
Life has a way of throwing one curveballs. What if your child turns out to be a slow learner? Or a creative sort who is not academically oriented? Believe me, kids don't always follow their parents in how they learn or how capable they are academically. My son was a really mediocre student all the way through high school. And then he just excelled in college. Don't ask me why. Some people are just ready at different ages?

You're giving me good info to keep in mind. While it's my fear things won't sail so smoothly for a child from K-12 and beyond, I know it's a possibility. I hope we have the best case scenario, and have had good genes through the generations, so fingers crossed... So far on my side of the family, not one tracking back to my grandparents has done poorly. His family is a little more varied, so we'll see, but I hope for the best...

[Inkpoe]

Originally Posted by soci3tycat

@Inkpoe, While I completely agree with your last point on who cares who is involved with the charity. However, in my situation, I will be built into certain major charities attended by that society, so it matters to me. I don't have much of a choice on that front, my bf's family is very present in the Seattle community and with these charities. Like I said in another post, his family is a major donor to a number of Seattle-based universities and hospitals. I know part of it is business, but I don't know how much of it is heartfelt. If I'm going to be around them often, it's important for me to know this about them and perhaps avoid it.

If I'm really misinformed on Seattle, we can get a transfer and work in the firm's branch in another city.

I'm not sure how it'll be any different in other cities. There are always cliques around... everywhere. Just as there will always be some genuine heartfelt people around. If you're likable, then you will be welcomed or at least cordially acknowledged.

[soci3tycat]

Originally Posted by Inkpoe

I'm not sure how it'll be any different in other cities. There are always cliques around... everywhere. Just as there will always be some genuine heartfelt people around. If you're likable, then you will be welcomed or at least cordially acknowledged.

I think at the point I transfer it means I gave up lol. I will just think life and society will be like West LA and Manhattan. To me, Seattle was some kind of dream place where it was more idyllic than other major cities. But I could be 100% wrong and just making that up; I didn't grow up there, which is why it's easy to imagine such things. But this is why I posted to figure that out. One of his colleagues at the firm said that a lot of people apply/want to come to Seattle because they "have something in mind," then are sorely disappointed upon arrival. He was specifically referencing people who think Seattle is full of hippies, then realize it's not (his words, not mine, I don't know). It prompted my search on whether I'm one of those with some kind of calmer version of Seattle in mind (compared to other major cities, like LA, Chicago, NYC).

Btw, I updated my post to you earlier about "over-privileged stories." Do share some crazy ones if you have time!

[Inkpoe]

Originally Posted by soci3tycat

I think at the point I transfer it means I gave up lol. I will just think life and society will be like West LA and Manhattan. To me, Seattle was some kind of dream place where it was more idyllic than other major cities. But I could be 100% wrong and just making that up; I didn't grow up there, which is why it's easy to imagine such things. But this is why I posted to figure that out. One of his colleagues at the firm said that a lot of people apply/want to come to Seattle because they "have something in mind," then are sorely disappointed upon arrival. He was specifically referencing people who think Seattle is full of hippies, then realize it's not (his words, not mine, I don't know). It prompted my search on whether I'm one of those with some kind of calmer version of Seattle in mind (compared to other major cities, like LA, Chicago, NYC).

Btw, I updated my post to you earlier about "over-privileged stories." Do share some crazy ones if you have time!

Oh gosh... Nothing like security details, LOL.

Here's a short one: There was a kid, whose family was pretty well known in the Bellevue circles as his father (who also graduated from Newport HS) opened a construction company right out of HS and did real well. The kid, we'll call him Colt. Colt really wanted a white Ford 250 truck with all the "redneck" gear and all these other add-ons (like a PA system for example). On his 16th birthday his family decided to surprise him with a brand new car. Colt threw an absolute fit when he saw the red BMW M3 (and this was confirmed by his friends/classmates who saw it go down). Colt chewed his parents out in front of everyone and vowed he would never drive the car. The car actually sat in the garage for a year untouched. The parents were surprised and amazed by his resolve that when his 17th birthday came around, they went and got him exactly what he wanted. One of his friends was telling this whole story to the teacher and added that he would only be too happy to take that BMW. The friend is basically a poor first generation Fijian. Colt looks at his friend and says: "Where are you going to put it? You live in an apartment."