Family friendly suburb in Silicon Valley? (San Mateo, San Carlos: house, transfer to, school district)

[silverkris]

Originally Posted by neutrino78x

I'm posting from a mobile device so quoting is hard, I will do more proper replies when I get home v from work, lol. I I'm on the light rail using the free wifi. But anyway yeah I agree with otterpods, I was going to say something similar in that elementary and high school is more about social interaction than learning, thus they might do better in the poorly performing school anyway.but another factor I thought of is, op's mother would do better with the access to emergency services you get from the 500k house downtown as opposed to the 1.6m house out in the middle of nowhere, do gnats another thing to think about. Also you can always bus or drive your kids to the private school of your choice. :-) and no I don't have kids. :-)

Yes - elementary school is probably 90% social/emotional learning/development - which is important - if you don't have that down, it can get in the way of academic learning.

As I've mentioned, one doesn't have to get into the tippy-top rated/ranked schools, but I would hesitate to recommend cases in which you go to a "poorly-performing" school unequivocally. Remember, one's child is surrounded by his/her peers - which may influence them on how they do in school. Some kids have the support and determination and can do well in the worst inner-city school, but others may not. Again, it's a matter of degree.

Private school - may or may not be a good option - particularly if one has many kids (I believe the OP has three), that cost can add up, and can exceed one's financial outlay as opposed to getting a more expensive home zoned for a higher performing public school district (taking into account mortgage deductions). Depends on the schools...anywhere from $10,000 - $17,000 per year, per student for elementary...to nearly $30,000 per student for Harker School, which is a top school.

[otterprods]

Originally Posted by silverkris

I'm not sure if I'd necessarily advocate going to a "low rated" school that draws from a low income demographic, because a lot of times, these schools may not have the resources than can enhance the learning experience. Or they can't draw upon parent communities to fund raise as much - sad as it is. Or there are safety factors involved. It's all a matter of degree.

I never advocated that either.

Again I say: $800k (HALF of the OP's budget) will get the them some pretty nice options in decent neighborhoods. It's nowhere near low-income yet, even in the Bay Area. Even if it happens to be within a low-income district, there would be other options if needed. But I would suggest not ruling out the local public schools just because some of the 'poor kids' (meaning, they live in town-homes & apartments, I guess?) go there too. There's a lot to gain from letting your kids mix it up with people from many different demographics, so as long as the school meets some basic safety and scholastic standards, why not consider it?

[silverkris]

Originally Posted by otterprods

I never advocated that either.

Again I say: $800k (HALF of the OP's budget) will get the them some pretty nice options in decent neighborhoods. It's nowhere near low-income yet, even in the Bay Area. Even if it happens to be within a low-income district, there would be other options if needed. But I would suggest not ruling out the local public schools just because some of the 'poor kids' (meaning, they live in town-homes & apartments, I guess?) go there too. There's a lot to gain from letting your kids mix it up with people from many different demographics, so as long as the school meets some basic safety and scholastic standards, why not consider it?

Agreed - thank you for clarifying. It's all a matter of balance.

[bigdumbgod]

Originally Posted by otterprods

Again I say: $800k (HALF of the OP's budget) will get the them some pretty nice options in decent neighborhoods. It's nowhere near low-income yet, even in the Bay Area. Even if it happens to be within a low-income district, there would be other options if needed. But I would suggest not ruling out the local public schools just because some of the 'poor kids' (meaning, they live in town-homes & apartments, I guess?) go there too. There's a lot to gain from letting your kids mix it up with people from many different demographics, so as long as the school meets some basic safety and scholastic standards, why not consider it?

Yes.
Sheltering the kids from anything resembling the real world isn't going to help them make a smooth transition to mature, self-actuated adults. Timmy isn't going to reinvent the wheel at MIT if he didn't know enough to not saunter around the Tenderloin staring at his iPhone after the Clueless.nerd conference in SF. Didn't account for any one of the many crackheads that wanted that thing more than him...poor Timmy! All those A's and Halo high scores...done in by zero street smarts.

We ought to realize something unique about CA, especially places like SV. A great many of these people who insist their golden progeny get the highest of the high scores, therefore having to attend the the most pre$tigiou$ of pre$tigiou$ schools, are parents who themselves are successful, intelligent people who went to quite regular schools back where they came from (transplants), with the regular offspring of rather average people. And it worked out. They didn't experience the pressure cooker they're putting their kids in...so it's a bit mysterious why they are so gung-ho to throw the lads into this fire they've created, when they did quite well in their own, more mundane surroundings back when. Sometimes the clear evidence of the Silver Spoon can even be a bit of a turnoff to those perusing resumes in companies that prefer a meritocratic approach to hiring and promoting. Having experienced scant little diversity in one's life can (and should) be a red flag, causing worry that Tommy (Timmy's brother - he was already in the car when fate befell his twin) will have a cow when he finds out there are no more Participation Awards to be handed out in RealityWorld, and some may even criticize his heretofore perceived perfection.

So when we fawn over the cherubs galavanting about the halls of Harker, et al, we might pause to wonder - are we creating another gaggle of Timmys? Maybe a little earthiness, even a [gasp!] public school could actually help prepare the lads for life's trials and tribulations in ways the $$$$$ places cannot.

And if friggin' $800,000 isn't enough to buy one a house, then there are even greater issues that need to be attended to.

[WillowGlenMom]

I am not even sure why I am taking the time to respond to this, but here I go... I went to really terrible public schools. I was not prepared for a mediocre college. I learned this quickly in my freshman year of college. I adapted and realized that I couldn't go into a math or science field as my elementary, middle, and high school education did not prepare me. I was simply way behind because of my early education.

As you sit there and make comments about small children galavanting around private schools (like Harker), please tell me how much time you have spent there or at any other public or private schools in California or elsewhere? If you want to talk about the benefits of public school, have at it. I agree there are many. I support our public schools and have worked in them most of my adult life (I have a Ph.D. in education). I would love if our public schools could do the best job meeting all students' needs, but that does not happen.

Please know that every family has to make difficult decisions about how they will educate their children. Our choice in private school was focused solely on academics, not to shelter our kids. I am also happy that the school we chose is ethnically diverse and my children are actually in the minority.

Also, my child was doing long division before 1st grade. He loves to learn and constantly wants to expand his knowledge base in multiple domains. Some of he highest ranked public schools in the area told me they would not meet his academic needs and that I should look elsewhere if that is my expectation. Trust me, sending our kids to an expensive private school is a huge financial burden to our family. However, it is the single most important thing that we can provide to our children, so we will sacrifice other things. In the state we moved from, our son was in a public school for gifted kids. No such option was available here.

Now, to the housing issue. Yes, you can find houses for significantly cheaper than $800,000. Having lived in other states, however, I can tell you that the type of house you get for that money can be shocking to say the least. We have lived in many areas throughout the country and nothing quite prepared me for the cost of housing in the Bay Area. A budget of $1.6 million will get you an unbelievable mansion on acreage in most places, but here it will get you a really nice house in many areas and an acceptable house in other areas. With that said, there are many wonderful things about the area that make the cost of housing more palatable. However, the shock factor to new transplants can be overwhelming!

[neutrino78x]

I think even 800k is a lot to spend just for a place to live, though it certainly makes more sense to me than spending 1.6m.

Poor performing vs high performing, imho, means nothing until graduate school, if then. Again, as long as you have the appropriate degree from an accredited college, what matters is how good you are at the craft, not where you went to school.

It is hard to believe people from silicon valley are arguing otherwise, lol! does anybody know off-hand, or care, where scott mcneally went to get his bachelors? Or steve jobs

[neutrino78x]

Or marissa meyer?

[otterprods]

Yeah, but I bet none of those people could do long division before 1st grade!

[silverkris]

Originally Posted by neutrino78x

I think even 800k is a lot to spend just for a place to live, though it certainly makes more sense to me than spending 1.6m.

Poor performing vs high performing, imho, means nothing until graduate school, if then. Again, as long as you have the appropriate degree from an accredited college, what matters is how good you are at the craft, not where you went to school.

It is hard to believe people from silicon valley are arguing otherwise, lol! does anybody know off-hand, or care, where scott mcneally went to get his bachelors? Or steve jobs

I understand your point, but I think you're way too flippant about school quality, and again, you need to look at it from a parents' point of view. Number one, if the K-12 school doesn't prepare you well for getting accepted into and then performing well at a university, graduate school isn't even an option. Some kids have the support system and confidence to thrive in the worst ghetto school, but others may not.

BTW - Scott McNeally went to Harvard for undergraduate study, then went to Stanford for his MBA. And he went to Cranbrook School, a fancy prep school in Michigan (same place as Mitt Romney). In fact, he probably knew Romney's family because his dad also worked for American Motors (Mitt's dad was the CEO of AMC).

Of course we all know Steve Jobs didn't finish at Bates College. So what's your point?

[silverkris]

Originally Posted by neutrino78x

Or marissa meyer?

Stanford University. She probably was going to be a teacher or professor before going to Google - she has that academic mindset - and she was a bit infamous for having 'strict office hours' to see her at Google - too much like an professor.