Native San Franciscian feeling disenchanted with his hometown and may want to relocate to la. (San Jose: live, discount) - San Francisco - Oakland - California (CA) - Page 3 - City-Data Forum

likealady · 03-09-2015, 09:43 PM

If you've lived here your whole life, my advice to you is to go experience another area for a while, even outside of California.

sfcatholic87 · 03-10-2015, 12:19 AM

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Originally Posted by 2sleepy

Have you tried involving yourself in any local meetups? Meetups near San Francisco, California - Meetup There are groups for almost every interest and who knows, you might make some friends and your outlook would change, you just sound sort of sad right now and I am not sure geography fixes that.

Yes I'm trying to and I get updates from groups on fb who have events and such. And I went to a religious folk concert and spoke with people afterwards. I am trying to find things that interest me weather it's m faith, photography,baseball, veganism. Partly I have to work on myself which I acknowledge.

sfcatholic87 · 03-10-2015, 12:26 AM

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Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

Well, El Cerrito with the parents is very different from having your own place in Berkeley. El Cerrito is very suburban, while Berkeley is right in the middle of all kinds of scenes and activity. It would be too easy to isolate yourself in a little suburban cocoon in El Cerrito, while in Berkeley, all you have to do is step out your door, and you're in the middle of everything.

I think I remember you, OP. Did you post a year ago or a little longer ago, about not being able to find Catholic women to date in SF, or something? Not able to find women who share your values? If that was you, it wouldn't get any better in LA in that respect. There are Catholic churches in Berkeley you could explore, though. There's one progressive one on College Avenue, I don't remember the name. I don't know if the East Bay would be any easier, Catholic-girl-wise, but it's worth a try.

Yes lol that was me. Yes I have gone to HOly Spirit on college which is a parish connected to the university. And I have gone to some events they have had. I liked the group but it seemed like most of them were younger than me and I kinda felt like I was in a different place in my life. I do like berkeley but I always feel a little out of place on campus because I'm older and most of the students sort of have a clique and I'm kinda past that point in my life. I'm gonna continue trying the young adults group at newman and being in berkeley, but I feel kinda old and washed up being around all these attractive young college students, and yet I am considered attractive,young and ambitious but compared to these people I don't feel on the same level.

sfcatholic87 · 03-10-2015, 12:32 AM

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Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

You're in school? And you haven't met any compatible women there? What degree are you getting?

No because the community college I am graduating from is really more of a commute type school as opposed to a school with dorms etc. I tried to be social,outgoing and ill admit I was insecure and less confident than. THe weird thing is I modeled when I was younger, I'm told I'm really attractive and now I'm finally believing it, not that I went around with my head down but I kind of felt like women must have not been interested in me. Now I'm starting to actually believe I am attractive and handsome and creative. Some of it may have been personal, other. Stuff may have been because it's a commute school. I had a girlfriend I met in a class at kaiser who was older than me and we broke it off because I felt too smothered. And I have gotten laid a few times. But I think I deserve better.

sfcatholic87 · 03-10-2015, 12:33 AM

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Originally Posted by sfcatholic87

No because the community college I am graduating from is really more of a commute type school as opposed to a school with dorms etc. I tried to be social,outgoing and ill admit I was insecure and less confident than. THe weird thing is I modeled when I was younger, I'm told I'm really attractive and now I'm finally believing it, not that I went around with my head down but I kind of felt like women must have not been interested in me. Now I'm starting to actually believe I am attractive and handsome and creative. Some of it may have been personal, other. Stuff may have been because it's a commute school. I had a girlfriend I met in a class at kaiser who was older than me and we broke it off because I felt too smothered. And I have gotten laid a few times. But I think I deserve better.

Associates in art.

sfcatholic87 · 03-10-2015, 12:34 AM

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Originally Posted by OptimusPrime69

OP, I couldn't help but kinda laugh as at the beginning of your post u mention you're Catholic, a eucharistic minister, attend church, involved in church....and the next paragraph you're talking about getting laid. lol.

Anyway, I lived out in LA for 3 years from 2011 to 2014... and I found ppl in LA to be overall quite friendly and approachable. I think ppl get LA completely wrong when they say LA ppl are superficial, shallow, vain, etc... Some of the friendliest, "most chill" people i've ever met were from LA. ....definitely more of a chill factor in LA over SF..

Why not make a plan to move to LA? I think it sounds like it would suit u well. Maybe a change of scenery in a new city might get u out of your funk... maybe gettin laid more will make u happier and attractive to women. Nothing is as attractive than a man who is happy, healthy, and has his shiiiit together.

Why? Didint God intend for us to enjoy the pleasure of someone intimately? And I'm not a conservative catholic I'm a liberal catholic who is pro choice,pro gay rights .

sfcatholic87 · 03-10-2015, 12:38 AM

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Originally Posted by NewbiePoster

Sorry to hear you've been striking out around the Bay. I haven't had those problems. But if you give up and move to LA in disgust, it means--more for me!

I like East Bay women bc they're not snobby, and tend to be down to earth and very cool. But I guess YMMV.

Yeah I mean I don't know if I should just give up and focus on what makes me happy,art,photography,few friends that I have and baseball and working out,gym and running. It's just too bad because I used to model, I'm conventionally handsome by western standards , I'm in good shape and I have so much to offer. I seem to have been more successful with women when I don't think about them. As soon as I worry about not having a date or being single maybe I make it harder on myself. Ill admit I was shy when I was younger but I'm better now at attempting to flirt, I'm outgoing.

sfcatholic87 · 03-10-2015, 12:41 AM

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Originally Posted by bmw335xi

I never have problems meeting girls for dating or flings. Between tinder and okcupid, you can get a date a few times a week if you have decent charm or flirting skills. However, it makes a big difference if you are attracted to minorities. I find white women in SF to be too strong minded, borderline feminists. A lot of 5's act like they are 10's, while in LA, a lot of 10's act like 5's. I know this is a broad statement, but I think you know what I mean.

I think a lot of your issues here have to do with not having a social group. It's always easier to meet people when you are already part of a group and while most people are very friendly, especially young people, it tends to be tough getting into a close-knit friendship where you don't have to schedule everything. I feel like most people here if you want to grab dinner, you need to schedule it, like "ok how about tomorrow at 8" instead of simply saying, "I'm hungry, you wanna grab something to eat now." I don't like structure when it comes to friendships, I'm more spontaneous, but it is what it is. I do think its a lot easier to meet people in LA, they seem more about having fun instead of career, career, career!

There is a meetup called, "random adventurers" or something like that, it's mostly people in their 20's and 30's... I go to their meetups when they have trampoline dodgeball and everyone who shows up are very nice and eager to make friends, most are new to the city, so maybe check them out.

yeah I'm on ok cupid, but it's never gone anywhere and I really want to meet someone organically where its natural.

sfcatholic87 · 03-10-2015, 12:47 AM

Funny at the gym I've made some acquaintances with married women who are in their 30s or so, so that is a step forward and at my home parish there are some women. But the one I liked and kinda asked out never responded back to me and moved away. I have tried Mary Magdalen and they have a youth group but I wanna try and seek out more Catholic/Christian faith areas. At work I'm getting closer to some people and I hope we can go to a bar even though I don't drink. There is one woman I like and sometimes I think she flirts with me and must think I'm cute and other times I think its wishful thinking. But we talk about 80s movies and she looks right in my eyes she is a cougar.

Bonez765 · 03-10-2015, 12:52 AM

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Originally Posted by sfcatholic87

Why? Didint God intend for us to enjoy the pleasure of someone intimately? And I'm not a conservative catholic I'm a liberal catholic who is pro choice,pro gay rights .

Lol on the last part. That for me is an oxymoron. But again, I'm a conservative catholic and I grew up with conservative catholic parents in the other side of the bay of the OP (East Bay).