Single life 30 to 45 in San Diego? (Thousand Oaks, Encinitas: apartment complex, leasing, condo)

[spktrader]

I have been thinking about moving to San Diego for some time. I currently live in southern NH. Which is basically Northern Massachusetts. I was curious what single life was like in San Diego for the above listed age range. I am a reasonably attractive guy but have not been able to find a good scene here to meet a lot of dateable women here. This area of the country seems to be particularly unfriendly. People give each other the finger without hesitation, never holding the door for other people. I am tired of it.

The women in this area seem to have a certain hostility to men that are interested in them. The only real success I have had is in dating women that are not originally from the Massachusetts area. But it’s hard to meet people in the Boston area and the attitude makes you not want to try it’s very clicky. The women don’t keep in shape for the most part either.

I took a trip to San Diego in the summer of 2005 and my experience was very good. Here where some of my observations. The hotel staff was very friendly to me (ok they have to be so that doesn’t count.). I walked in to a grocery store called Ralph’s in La Jolla my first night in CA. there had to be at least 5 women that where probably 8’s to 10’s. Here in NH you are lucky to see 1 in a month. I started going to this little bagel shop in La Jolla and the Asian women were very friendly to me and asked if I was from around here and made small talk. In NH the local Dunkin Donuts has an attitude of here’s your coffee and Bleep you. Small talk rarely ever happens. The little independent coffee shop in La jolla had a couple of college age girls working (I am 40 years old). These girls actually started talking to me around the 3rd day I was in the shop, It was June and they where telling me about June gloom and telling me not to judge the place by the crappy grey skies in June. They seemed interested in where I was from and hearing about NH. I then went to an apartment complex that was under construction right near La Jolla, I saw this stunning blond women who had to be about 35 walking out of the leasing office, I thought wow too bad I missed her. I walked in to the leasing office and there was another gorgeous (younger) blond who was friendly enough at the leasing office. The last thing was driving, I probably drive a bit slower and people didn’t seem to mind they just went around me. I was stopped at a light making a left turn and there was a guy not paying attention in front of me, the light turned green. No body beeped. It had to be 45 seconds. Here in NH. People would be leaning on the horn. I am just curious where a 40 year old (reasonably attractive guy) can meet some nice attractive women in San Diego? Some people said there was a good church for that in Pacific beach. Are the people really this friendly or am I dreaming? Or do I live in such a hell hole that anything seems better? What are the people like there? Is downtown any different? Is it easy to make friends in San Diego? People not from NH/Mass who have moved to NH/Mass told me it is very difficult in New England, Which seems true. I guess my dating range would be 32 to 42. Thanks for the Help. (MY ex-girlfriend moved to AZ for a year and said people there are also very friendly, As soon as she finishes school she is moving back to AZ.)

[NYSD1995]

San Diego and Southern California is the beautiful woman capitol of the world. Some thoughts:

- do you like to drink? Because a lot of people here sure do. There's a big party scene and it's not entirely healthy. 30 year-old women who party like 23 year-olds are not cute. PB is a party village.

- do you have money? Nice car, condo, and clothes will serve you well, especially as you move north up the coast. The younger girls won't be impressed, but the older ones will be.

- do you have a buff bod? Tan? Six-pack abs? It's a prerequisite for those girls in PB.

You will find the 'nice girls' in your church, or hiking cowles mountain, or in grad school, but not in PB Bar & Grill on Friday night.

Good luck and go for it!

[norcalguy76]

you get what you pay for, many gold-diggers in san diego.

[kimmer]

I have to agree with "norcalguy76". My brother (a good looking guy) used to have women come up to him in bars and straight out ask, "what kind of car do you drive?" He got so fed up with it he told them he drove a Pinto and they would turn and walk away without a word! Lots of shallow women in town.

Pacific Beach ("PB") is more for college-age drunkards (who'll barf &/or pee on your lawn, then attempt to drive home drunk) than closer-to-middle age people. Try a bit more upscale North County - Del Mar, Encinitas. Especially Encinitas/Leucadia. Classier people in these areas. Nicer, too.

People do suffer from a lot of road rage here (traffic is BRUTAL). You're very lucky no one honked at you for sitting on a green light!

[kettlepot]

I think one thing that probably separates San Diego from Non-metro New England, is that most everyone here is from somewhere else, so there is a greater tolerance for someone that is unknown and new to the area. That said, here first impressions count. Women can be choosy, and there is a large military population of guys who have to work out. You should too in order to compete. The Law of Supply and Demand is applicable to romance too.

[Roma]

I grew up in Thousand Oaks (Ventura County) and I have to say people for the most part were very friendly. I am a female and I married now. I never asked anyone what kind of car they had either. But then again the people in my area (T.O, Westlake, Calabasas and such) usually have money (not always but alot of them do). You will decide, if not already know what kind of person you want to date. I think you have to "Market" yourself if you know what I mean. Men are usually (not always) looking for the "pretty girl". Women usually (not always) are looking for money and a good looking guy. Just like when you go job hunting you Market yourself and dating is the same way.
I also wanted to add that the women in your age range 30-45 are probably (not all) but I would guess most, are looking to "settle down/get married". If you want to find a party girl you find that, if you want to find a girl that goes to church you will find that, if you want just a pretty girl you will find that, if you want a educated women you will find that. Everything is in California, I bet you will find what your heart wants.. Also remember women know what they want too and will gravitate to that whatever "that" is. Find out what you are looking for and go from there. Good Luck!

[RACHEL30]

I agree to last comment. I keep finding losers bad credit, eviction, u name it I attract it. Im new here too

[TristramShandy]

You will absolutely find it friendly here. I lived five unhappy years in New England (Rhode Island) with the same general complaints. I laugh when I occasionally see posts on this board complaining about how people can't make friends in San Diego. It is so easy here as so many people are non-native and are in the same boat you are. And there are lots of single people here, and you can choose whatever group you want, not only by neighborhood but inside neighborhoods.

You do live in a hellhole. I was once there. Get out as quickly as you can!

[jkoz]

One rule of thumb for women here entering the dating scene: HAVE LONG HAIR--even if you are in your 50s--HAVE LONG HAIR. Men here at any age do not like short hair, or even mid-length hair. I think it's universal, but bigger here. I have married friends pushing 50 whose husbands still won't let them cut their hair, even to shoulder length.

[Mira-Mesa-Resident]

Originally Posted by jkoz

One rule of thumb for women here entering the dating scene: HAVE LONG HAIR--even if you are in your 50s--HAVE LONG HAIR. Men here at any age do not like short hair, or even mid-length hair. I think it's universal, but bigger here. I have married friends pushing 50 whose husbands still won't let them cut their hair, even to shoulder length.

At some point, won't the woman with long hair start looking like an old witch?
I keep asking my spouse, you tell me when I should cut my hair short because I do not want to look like a witch.

The best way to meet women are through volunteer organizations so it is not too obvious that you are looking for single women. The Toastmasters where I went was filled with single people, too. They were only a couple of married people there.