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Old 10-07-2011, 04:27 PM
 
Location: UK
471 posts, read 1,831,723 times
Reputation: 193

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OK so I'm in my early 30's single mom, I transferred with my job to Temecula from DC and I know it takes some time to get settled but I miss the vibe of my favorite cities (DC and NYC) and the people and the social scene. I don't ever anticiapte going to live back east but what I want to know is what have you done to make your transition smooth? I've tried meeting friends but it seems really hard to make friends because I seem to always offend somebody with my bluntness, etc. I joined several Meet-Ups but don't really hear from anyone in between events and the 2 friends I did make I only hear from them once every 2 weeks or something like that. I dance at a local studio and wanted to put together a dance crew but after 1 or 2 calls or rehearsals you don't hear from anyone again. I mean I called and texted and emailed and still no call, a "no I'm not interested" or nothing. Is it me? (don't answer that!)

I love beautiful California but it gets lonely out here with no friends, no family, no honey... And no one MY AGE to share my love of dance with. it just seems like I don't have anything in common with anyone my age here in Temecula!

Do you feel the same way? What have you done to improve your cirlce of friends? Could it be just my location?

I'm open to try anything to make my life so not boring here wine country


P.S. this isn't my first relocation so I guess I'm wondering why this one is so "different"
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Old 10-08-2011, 06:32 AM
 
Location: So Ca
26,792 posts, read 26,914,688 times
Reputation: 24890
Quote:
Originally Posted by RoadTripGurl View Post
Could it be just my location? this isn't my first relocation so I guess I'm wondering why this one is so "different"
DC to Temecula? That must be a huge culture shock. I empathize with you. Maybe look further west for people who share more of your interests. A Meetup.com group?
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Old 10-08-2011, 10:38 AM
 
Location: Arvada, CO
13,827 posts, read 29,980,374 times
Reputation: 14429
Get your kid involved in sports (if he/she is old enough of course). It'll do wonders for your social life in Temecula.

Or, go to Riverside or San Diego and try and have fun.
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Moderator for Los Angeles, The Inland Empire, and the Washington state forums.
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Old 10-08-2011, 11:00 AM
 
Location: RSM
5,113 posts, read 19,784,395 times
Reputation: 1927
Quote:
Originally Posted by David Aguilar View Post
Get your kid involved in sports (if he/she is old enough of course). It'll do wonders for your social life in Temecula.
Agree. Most of my grandparents(who raised me) longterm friends are friends they made through youth sports and as I'm putting my son through the same things I'm finding that most of my friends are parents from my son's sports as well.

I'd like to say that tackle football has been the most productive in this regard for my family, probably because the parents are more involved in it and there always seem to be more things to do(go for pizza after a win, hang out at someone's house after a game, etc), but that's just anecdotal
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Old 10-08-2011, 11:37 AM
 
Location: UK
471 posts, read 1,831,723 times
Reputation: 193
Default hmmmmm....

My son joined a Boy Scout troop immediately from my co-workers but they are Mormon based. Although I believe in the LORD and worship, other than that me and the other moms just do not share the same interests, not to mention everyone's married except me. My son is also in the school band and he's not much into sports. My daughters in dance but I haven't been invited to a birthday party or anything yet.

Quote:
Originally Posted by David Aguilar View Post
Get your kid involved in sports (if he/she is old enough of course). It'll do wonders for your social life in Temecula.

Or, go to Riverside or San Diego and try and have fun.
what spots do you recommend in Riverside? I work in San Diego and have been to some spots there but I was hoping to have some friends closer to home to hang out with.
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Old 10-08-2011, 11:42 AM
 
Location: Arvada, CO
13,827 posts, read 29,980,374 times
Reputation: 14429
Quote:
Originally Posted by RoadTripGurl View Post
My son joined a Boy Scout troop immediately from my co-workers but they are Mormon based. Although I believe in the LORD and worship, other than that me and the other moms just do not share the same interests, not to mention everyone's married except me. My son is also in the school band and he's not much into sports. My daughters in dance but I haven't been invited to a birthday party or anything yet.



what spots do you recommend in Riverside? I work in San Diego and have been to some spots there but I was hoping to have some friends closer to home to hang out with.
That's the problem with Temec, it's
happy-married-family-with-2-plus-kids-a-nice-tract-home-a-dog-and-an-SUV-ville.

Re: Riverside, the malls, downtown, etc, others will have to help you out here as it's been a long time since I've "hung out" in Rivvy.
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Old 10-08-2011, 12:09 PM
 
Location: So Ca
26,792 posts, read 26,914,688 times
Reputation: 24890
Quote:
Originally Posted by RoadTripGurl View Post
My son joined a Boy Scout troop immediately but they are Mormon based....the other moms just do not share the same interests, not to mention everyone's married except me.
As a rule, Mormon families will usually interact more with other Mormon families. And Boy Scouts, unlike Cub Scouts, is run mostly by fathers. You're right; not a lot of single parents there.

Quote:
My son is also in the school band and he's not much into sports...
Is there a parent group or fundraising group? Some schools have active parent groups to help their music department.

Quote:
My daughters in dance.
Would she be interested in AYSO soccer? Easy way to meet parents who are more like you. Also, if you're able to volunteer for any type of PTA job with your kids' schools, you'd be in contact with other parents and friendships can develop from that.
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Old 10-09-2011, 12:44 AM
 
231 posts, read 814,691 times
Reputation: 237
Quote:
Originally Posted by RoadTripGurl View Post
OK so I'm in my early 30's single mom, I transferred with my job to Temecula from DC and I know it takes some time to get settled but I miss the vibe of my favorite cities (DC and NYC) and the people and the social scene. I don't ever anticiapte going to live back east but what I want to know is what have you done to make your transition smooth? I've tried meeting friends but it seems really hard to make friends because I seem to always offend somebody with my bluntness, etc. I joined several Meet-Ups but don't really hear from anyone in between events and the 2 friends I did make I only hear from them once every 2 weeks or something like that. I dance at a local studio and wanted to put together a dance crew but after 1 or 2 calls or rehearsals you don't hear from anyone again. I mean I called and texted and emailed and still no call, a "no I'm not interested" or nothing. Is it me? (don't answer that!)

I love beautiful California but it gets lonely out here with no friends, no family, no honey... And no one MY AGE to share my love of dance with. it just seems like I don't have anything in common with anyone my age here in Temecula!

Do you feel the same way? What have you done to improve your cirlce of friends? Could it be just my location?

I'm open to try anything to make my life so not boring here wine country


P.S. this isn't my first relocation so I guess I'm wondering why this one is so "different"
tone down the easy coast bluntness if you have too, CA people are laidback and dont like that
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Old 10-09-2011, 10:35 AM
 
37 posts, read 66,831 times
Reputation: 23
Temecula is home to the cross wearing crowd if you know what I mean. Even the above poster sort of confirmed that. So, wear a big 'ol cross and talk about how many kids you want and church...then join 24 Hour Fitness. You sound like you would be right at home in Pacific Beach, but that is about 80 mins away. Good luck.
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Old 10-09-2011, 12:58 PM
 
Location: Declezville, CA
16,806 posts, read 39,996,644 times
Reputation: 17695
Quote:
Originally Posted by RoadTripGurl View Post
I transferred with my job to Temecula
Quote:
Originally Posted by RoadTripGurl View Post
but I miss the vibe of my favorite cities (DC and NYC) and the people and the social scene.
These two are mutually exclusive. You will NEVER feel like you fit in. Temecula might as well be in another galaxy if you're used to NYC/DC. My suggestions are:

• Relocate to someplace with more of that vibe you miss. SFO comes to mind.

• Suck it up because the job's there and times are tough.

You're just going to frustrate yourself trying to fit in on Planet Temecula.
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