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The Portland metro area is the friendliest place I have ever experienced. I have noticed that how I am treated in medical offices is so much better than it was in St. Louis. Strangers are often kind.
It is still hard to make friends if you move here as an older person, but in day to day things, this is a friendly, generally kind place.
Of all the cities I've lived in, Tucson is tops for friendliness. Generally speaking, if you have a big population of poor people, there's bound to be more friendliness. We all know what college degrees can do to people!
When I lived in "icy" Las Vegas, and worked in a nursing home there, I heard it too often from the older people how cold and unfriendly the people are in Sinless City. It may have something to do with all the hundreds of miles of walls in that city. Most Las Vegans feel naked if they don't have their ubiquitous backyards ringed with 6 foot cinder block walls. Best if you want to say hello to a neighbor up there, you wear a bullet-proof vest!
I have traveled via chicken buses throughout Central America and I found the friendliest people as most of them are dirt poor.
New England has least friendly people. Midwesterners are rumored to be very friendly. I found New Yorkers to be friendly but NYC isn't everyone's cup of tea.
I think you are confusing "not judging you and not in your business...live and let live" with friendly. We moved from "friendly" Philly and S. NJ to New England and prefer the later in a sense. It's the old Yankee Mentality......and, in fact, much of the basis of the founding of this country.
" it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods, or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.” TJ
I've lived in many places including primal religious places deep in WV and TN. They all have their ups and downs.
I think much of this particular subject depends on the individual(s) involved. I happen to be more of an introvert and like being in nature and by myself (even tho married with kids). So being left alone, as in New England, is a good thing in my book.
On the other hand, being judged as one is in some places (on religion, interests, etc.) is against my grain.
But all in all I agree that it depends on the vibes that the person looking...puts out. We winter in Sarasota and I could be full time involved in "social and sport" but I choose not to and instead to do volunteer work like Meals on Wheels, etc.
This may be because my life has been fairly easy (comparatively) and that I don't have to make up for "lost time" in my Golden Years. Rather I find giving back to be more important than my social life and such things.
To each his or her own. Sometimes I lament that I don't take up bridge or poker and sit around shooting the chit...but that's just not me.
I've lived in a few places since I retired. The small town was ingrown and people were mostly unfriendly. They had gone to school together or they were related--or both.
Now I'm in a bigger town in Connecticut (not the NYC area of CT) and mostly it's friendly. As usual, the people who have grown up here, are only superficially friendly. They don't need any new friends. In my age restricted apartment complex, there are a lot of people who moved here to be near a son or daughter--not very friendly because they have their family to do things with. But the people who moved here from elsewhere are friendly. And people here are very, very nice/helpful to each other.
As a current New Englander myself, I note that there some aspects of being nice which might be unappreciated by many outsiders.....
For example, if one enters the health care system (here in MA) they often run into very sweet people. I know a number of people through both family matters and neighbors, etc. and they are friendly to a fault. Doctors I know are Doctors not for money (which happens to be the case in many areas...fact!), but because they really care about the people and the science. Nurses, home care aids, etc. and even regular contractors.
Contrary to older times, there is almost no social strata where we live. Some of our neighbors were born dirt poor locally and otherwise. But they made it (one owned the Harley dealer, etc.)...in fact, I don't think there is a single blue blood family on our entire street, yet it's a fairly wealthy lane.
No one would EVER ask you what church you attended...or care, for that matter.
In the South they ask what church you go to because they want to invite you to theirs if you don't have a church. A lot of some people's social activities are related to their church calendar, things like socials, bible study, spaghetti dinners, musical performances, etc.
I'm an atheist, have found lots of friends in TN, and have never once in the 6 years I've lived here ever been asked what church I go to. If asked, I would say what I say to any questions about religion ..."I'm not religious". Usually that ends the religion section of any discussion. Any further invitation to church functions would get my polite answer..."Thank you for the invitation, but I have other plans".
In the South they ask what church you go to because they want to invite you to theirs if you don't have a church. A lot of some people's social activities are related to their church calendar, things like socials, bible study, spaghetti dinners, musical performances, etc.
I'm an atheist, have found lots of friends in TN, and have never once in the 6 years I've lived here ever been asked what church I go to. If asked, I would say what I say to any questions about religion ..."I'm not religious". Usually that ends the religion section of any discussion. Any further invitation to church functions would get my polite answer..."Thank you for the invitation, but I have other plans".
I've been in the south for over 40 years now (FL, TX, SC) and have never been asked what church I go to.
I think you are confusing "not judging you and not in your business...live and let live" with friendly. We moved from "friendly" Philly and S. NJ to New England and prefer the later in a sense. It's the old Yankee Mentality......and, in fact, much of the basis of the founding of this country.
" it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods, or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.” TJ
I've lived in many places including primal religious places deep in WV and TN. They all have their ups and downs.
I think much of this particular subject depends on the individual(s) involved. I happen to be more of an introvert and like being in nature and by myself (even tho married with kids). So being left alone, as in New England, is a good thing in my book.
On the other hand, being judged as one is in some places (on religion, interests, etc.) is against my grain.
But all in all I agree that it depends on the vibes that the person looking...puts out. We winter in Sarasota and I could be full time involved in "social and sport" but I choose not to and instead to do volunteer work like Meals on Wheels, etc.
This may be because my life has been fairly easy (comparatively) and that I don't have to make up for "lost time" in my Golden Years. Rather I find giving back to be more important than my social life and such things.
To each his or her own. Sometimes I lament that I don't take up bridge or poker and sit around shooting the chit...but that's just not me.
I've been in the south for over 40 years now (FL, TX, SC) and have never been asked what church I go to.
I have, and it is really none of their business. When you respond that you are a member of a particular church you sometimes get a fake dismissive smile as if you, poor dear, are not really in touch with the true religion.
On the other hand, I have a couple friendly bible-thumper ladies that stop by every six months or so. They learned on the first visit I was not interested in what they were selling and quite happy with my church. I have a goldfish pond in my courtyard that they like so they asked if they could still stop by to check on the fish when in the neighborhood. Sure, why not. We have a friendly chat each time they visit but we don't digress into religion and they no longer offer me their publications. There is no reason to be unfriendly.
We moved from the Front Range in Colorado down to SWFL. This area is largely made up of retiree transplants from all over the place; mostly the midwest followed by New Englanders. Not too many Westerners, they seem to head to Arizona and not Florida.
All said, people are really friendly here I think. What has really helped us establish friendships in this small town are the local civic association-sponsored clubs.
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