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I've had coworkers I don't like - after all, I've worked at a lot of different places with a lot of different people, so anyone is going to run across people they don't really care for. With that said, I can generally get along with about anyone in a work setting.
You don't have to personally like the person. You just had to be cordial enough to deal with each other during the business day. It's rare that I've found someone I can't get along with at that area.
Quote:
Originally Posted by marino760
I agree with you also. I've worked at the same place for over 17 years now and have seen dozens of people of all ages and types come and go including managers. I get along with everyone well enough.
It's NOT about 'not getting along with other people'!! Not at all. You missed the whole point. And you're off-topic.
It's about being forced to associate every day 8 hours per day or more with people at work - certain individuals of which one may not care to interact with.
And forced work social expectations to attend events at work and outside of work for birthdays, baby showers, Christmas, get-togethers of all sorts etc)
I stated being courteous. It's not about not 'getting along with people'. Yes, one can get along fairly easily in most cases - but it's about having forced associations at work
Read posts #1 and #28 by jmp61616, the OP.
Last edited by matisse12; 11-25-2019 at 12:52 PM..
I am the OP, and I was referring to the workplace and not casual interactions with others in life. If a plumber is incompetent, I won't use them again. If a cashier is rude, I blow it off and go to another store. I don't HAVE to associate with them, and they mean nothing to me. Work is different. 8 hours a day, I have had to deal with and accept people that I really would rather not be around. Most all of my co-workers are ok, and I get along with them. But some I would be perfectly happy to never see again. One department head was so much of a B-word that I hated any interaction. When she left for another job, I deleted her from my phone. It felt so good I wanted to put her back in the contacts so I could delete her again. That is what I was wondering about retirement, and if others felt the relief that I think will come when I walk out for the last time.
OK, then, no, I didn't feel that relief because I never felt that strong a negativity about anyone I was forced to work with.
There were people I did not like, but they didn't affect me that strongly.
It's NOT about 'not getting along with other people'!! Not at all. You missed the whole point. And you're off-topic.
It's about being forced to associate every day 8 hours per day or more with people at work - certain individuals of which one may not care to interact with.
And forced work social expectations to attend events at work and outside of work for birthdays, baby showers, Christmas, get-togethers of all sorts etc)
I stated being courteous. It's not about not 'getting along with people'. Yes, one can get along fairly easily in most cases - but it's about having forced associations at work
Read posts #1 and #28 by jmp61616, the OP.
Agree. I got along with everyone at work but did not enjoy associating with a couple of them, over the years. Overall, it was great until the management changed in the last year.
I enjoyed working with the public also and it helped that they were on vacation and LOVED being there, unlike at the DMV, for example, LOL.
In retirement, we can pick and choose who we spend time with. No forced 8-hours a day confinement. All the service people here are very polite so that's not an issue.
We do have a couple of douche condo owners, but I can go months without seeing them. Only at the HOA meetings do we have to deal with them.
We all begin the long path to forced association at the time we enter school, and it's noteworthy that for some, the negative associations begin in the family. Most of my worklife was tainted with the fact of toxic people being in the circle of those I had to spend time with, so, yes, at retirement I was happy to have the choice of who I spent the day with.
Brief contact with jerks is certainly part of the everyday life we all experience, but, those are fleeting moments for the most part and not the kind of protracted situations that are integral to work or school.
But so many people have been traumatized by their work environment, even to the extent that Federal guidelines now require companies of a certain size to have a documented plan in place to deal with violent people in the workplace, that in itself is more than enough proof that some of your co workers may not be the most stable people you'd want to be around.
Forced association, shouldn't be confused with the fact of everyday annoyances, we can avoid a lot of that, and, it isn't the same as an eight hour a day, every day, spent with very real on the job terrorists who seem to enjoy making others feel threatened, at worst, and at best, just annoying as hell. Having a larger amount of control over your choices of who to let into your life will most likely remain as one of the best aspects of retirement.
Location: Unlike most on CD, I'm not afraid to give my location: Milwaukee, WI.
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Boy, the stories I could tell about some of my co-workers before I retired. They were a large part of the reason I bailed as soon as I could at 62. To this day I am amazed at how immature and insecure some grown men can be. And the amount of passive-aggressive behavior if they didn't like you. I'm talking guys in their 40s-60s!
A couple of the managers over the years were total maggots, but for the most part management was cool.
I was in a unionized manufacturing environment, and I'm pretty sure would not find the same degree of troublesome guys in white collar or non-union environments. I saw relatively little of this behavior at a couple previous employers, or in the military.
Now I just have to endure forced association with some neighbors who I don't care for, all working age, but they either don't work, work from home, or supposedly work full-time but seem to be home half the day. So I'm encountering them more than I'd like.
I have mixed feelings about 'forced associations' because I get just as annoyed spending time with people who are too similar to me as I do with people I have nothing in common with. It's almost fun trying to balance my relationships with people, who I may or may not like that much, with other people who have their own ideas about everyone. It's like a big old crazy family sometimes. I can get on with almost anyone though so that probably makes a difference. Sometimes people who annoy me like me more than people who don't, it's a curse but I've ended up with a lot of quirky friends.
When I used to work in the factories my boss used to make me go out to dinner with him and other VIP. I was the maintenance Supervisor, he wanted to show me how having a steak dinner with important people was a fun thing to do. I hated it, every single dinner I had to attend. So now in retirement I only go out to dinner with true friends of mine, no more forced interactions and have to play nice to keep my job dinners.
The only work dinner I ever enjoyed was with my workers in the maintenance shop. We would order in something once in a while and I would pay (my company credit card paid for it hehehehehe) for it. Not all the guys participated but that was ok and I made sure they knew it was not a mandatory lunch. I never made anyone go to lunch with me that did not want to.
So not having to play nice to keep my job is one of the best things about retirement, I can finally just be me. I like it. I do not miss the factories at all.
I did not dream of working in a factory when I was growing up. It was just one of those things that happen to many people in life. Once you start in the factory it is hard to walk away. The pay was good, it got much better when I became the boss. So I appreciate what factory life did for me and my family I do not miss the factory. Although a few of those big fat checks with some overtime would taste pretty good.
Sorry I have to go fishing now, it is almost daybreak and the fish are waiting for me.
My last 'real' employment, prior to being laid off and working temporary positions until I could receive social security, was the worst job I ever had, in terms of co-workers.
The team leader, I am not going to call him supervisor, kept trying to throw me under the bus. I never did understand why. The only thing I could figure out was that I was put on that team because of my extensive nonprofit experience and experience with low income communities and he didn't get to choose me.
It was at an organization that helped poor communities get out of poverty. Because it was an organization, as opposed to the regular nonprofits I'd worked at, it was run on company funds, not donations. It was also the highest paying job I ever had.
It took me awhile to catch on that this guy did not like me and was doing everything he could to try to get rid of me. But I was too close to retirement, 12 years away, and knew the salary would boost my retirement savings and social security income.
He didn't succeed in making me quit and management liked my skills so he couldn't find anything to get me fired. He just made working with him not pleasant.
I'm glad I stuck it out but also very glad I no longer have to deal with him or anyone else like him. I really enjoy retirement.
Boy, the stories I could tell about some of my co-workers before I retired. They were a large part of the reason I bailed as soon as I could at 62. To this day I am amazed at how immature and insecure some grown men can be. And the amount of passive-aggressive behavior if they didn't like you. I'm talking guys in their 40s-60s!
A couple of the managers over the years were total maggots, but for the most part management was cool.
I was in a unionized manufacturing environment, and I'm pretty sure would not find the same degree of troublesome guys in white collar or non-union environments. I saw relatively little of this behavior at a couple previous employers, or in the military.
Now I just have to endure forced association with some neighbors who I don't care for, all working age, but they either don't work, work from home, or supposedly work full-time but seem to be home half the day. So I'm encountering them more than I'd like.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClubMike
When I used to work in the factories my boss used to make me go out to dinner with him and other VIP. I was the maintenance Supervisor, he wanted to show me how having a steak dinner with important people was a fun thing to do. I hated it, every single dinner I had to attend. So now in retirement I only go out to dinner with true friends of mine, no more forced interactions and have to play nice to keep my job dinners.
The only work dinner I ever enjoyed was with my workers in the maintenance shop. We would order in something once in a while and I would pay (my company credit card paid for it hehehehehe) for it. Not all the guys participated but that was ok and I made sure they knew it was not a mandatory lunch. I never made anyone go to lunch with me that did not want to.
So not having to play nice to keep my job is one of the best things about retirement, I can finally just be me. I like it. I do not miss the factories at all.
I did not dream of working in a factory when I was growing up. It was just one of those things that happen to many people in life. Once you start in the factory it is hard to walk away. The pay was good, it got much better when I became the boss. So I appreciate what factory life did for me and my family I do not miss the factory. Although a few of those big fat checks with some overtime would taste pretty good.
Sorry I have to go fishing now, it is almost daybreak and the fish are waiting for me.
I totally know what you both are talking about, it's great to hear from others who have dealt with exactly what I have to deal with every day. Fortunately for me I have finally worked myself into a position of relative peace and quiet compared with years past, job reclassifications and retirements have put me in a very good position. The downside is they are eliminating jobs right and left, the upside is I have the most seniority and am three years away from being done.
When I used to work in the factories my boss used to make me go out to dinner with him and other VIP. I was the maintenance Supervisor, he wanted to show me how having a steak dinner with important people was a fun thing to do. I hated it, every single dinner I had to attend. So now in retirement I only go out to dinner with true friends of mine, no more forced interactions and have to play nice to keep my job dinners.
The only work dinner I ever enjoyed was with my workers in the maintenance shop. We would order in something once in a while and I would pay (my company credit card paid for it hehehehehe) for it. Not all the guys participated but that was ok and I made sure they knew it was not a mandatory lunch. I never made anyone go to lunch with me that did not want to.
So not having to play nice to keep my job is one of the best things about retirement, I can finally just be me. I like it. I do not miss the factories at all.
I did not dream of working in a factory when I was growing up. It was just one of those things that happen to many people in life. Once you start in the factory it is hard to walk away. The pay was good, it got much better when I became the boss. So I appreciate what factory life did for me and my family I do not miss the factory. Although a few of those big fat checks with some overtime would taste pretty good.
Sorry I have to go fishing now, it is almost daybreak and the fish are waiting for me.
Is it really so bad to go out on occasion with coworkers to a steak dinner?
Like I said earlier, I've worked with people I didn't particularly care for. That doesn't mean I can't be cordial with them at a Ruth Chris dinner. I've been to a good number of these things while working at a fintech company. I rang in 2015 and 2016 at high end Boston hotels with clients and colleagues that I genuinely liked - some of whom I would hang out with personally. All of these were very smart, top tier talent. A soiree at a Boston waterfront hotel beats my current life, even though I make more money now than then.
I left that company at the start of 2016. The site manager has invited me to their corporate Christmas at St. Elmo's Steakhouse in Indianapolis this year simply because "Tennessee" is well-liked. I'm planning to go. If his wife doesn't go, he'll expense me - otherwise, I'm paying my own way. I'm just glad to continue to be in the social circles of such smart and capable people.
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