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My parents divorced later in life (should have done so early in life). My mother was broke and had to go to Legal Aid to divorce. They were living separately at that point for years. My father was basically living in his delivery truck with the dogs and she was in a tiny trailer. He had messed around with taxes for years (and perhaps not filed at all) and the IRS took my mother's tiny savings electronically. Also, my sister had just divorced and my mother tended to do whatever my sister did (get a cat, get divorced).
My father ended up moving in with my mother in her very tiny spare bedroom after the dogs died and she was still broke. She also needed some kind of assistance with her increasing paranoia and mental disarray. They still could not stand each other but my father, in a rare moment of introspection, said, "Your mother shouldn't end up in the gutter because she married a bum like me once."
I have two friends, both around 65, who are leaving wives of some 35+ years (or trying to).
In one case, the man has just decided that he needs a different life than the one he has been leading- no one to move on to, which I've found is rare, but a clear desire to be on his own in a very different life in retirement. They have some sort of legal separation arrangement, but not a divorce.
The other one is a former coworker who left his wife due to their terrible fighting and issues, lived in the next town for three years, and then returned to the family house because of her deterioration while the kids were teens. Once the kids were grown, wife had extreme physical illness with debilitation, rehab, etc. They are still living together in extreme acrimony, both having health problems, and his are completely due to stress- he is not concerned with divorce, just not wanting to live in that environment, but she continues to need his help, etc. (He works two jobs, seven days a week for years now). It is also extremely expensive where he lives and he keeps setting deadlines for selling the family house and getting his own place, cannot afford it and both of them keep getting sick.
I once broke up with a boyfriend (with an already-acknowledged no-future for it). I figured I'd rather be lonely alone than with someone who was needy and clingy and did not accept the limits of the relationship. I came to dislike and disrespect him and it was no good for either of us. But actually, I feared that he'd get some illness and I'd look terrible for dumping him.
I cannot imagine being tepidly or worse, angrily married forever, but then, I haven't had the problem of being badly married in the first place. I am probably too experienced in *not* being in a couple to function, although I do try to watch and learn.
Of course, certainly possible. Personally I read between the comments and felt that by stating the last ten years beat any of the previous fifty was akin to throwing the wife under the bus.
Parents of a couple we know and are related to by marriage. Husband is 70, wife 62; married 45 years; 6 children; last one just got married 2014 and had their first baby in 2017. We've seen them at the happy occasions and all seemed fine.
Well, that side of the family all were together for Thanksgiving. The next day with no warning, the mom (age 62) left a note, took what she wanted, moved out and went to live with an on-line acquaintance about 4 hours away. No communication with her kids and grandchildren; now has a new family!
Then, just yesterday, we found out the divorce was just final and the poor father (age 70) is just distraught. She walked away with nothing; didn't want anything but now the news is that the on-line guy was her high school boyfriend.
I guess they reconnected on social media.
Her family - the 6 kids and grandchildren all very sad. Seems out of character. Her children are all married, very functional and have great families.
I can see this happening after you know someone is widowed or divorced but still married?
This really hurts my heart......I'm the same age as wife, met my husband 45 years ago at age 17, married 43 years ago at age 19. There is a big age difference here, HS boyfriend? Sounds like she met/married her husband on the rebound......this was my story. However, I am now single and have no desire to look up my former BF. Too many years gone by.
I am 60, my husband, 68. We just separated after four years of marriage. I doubt if we will get a divorce, but instead just live separately 3,000 miles away from each other. His brain injury, sustained on our second wedding anniversary, caused his personality to change. He lost cognitive function and became severely depressed. I tried very hard for two years, as did he.
Divorce is mostly about who gets how much money. Not our problem, fortunately. We both share everything equally.
It's not the end of the world, but it's no fun either.
So who is caring for him now? and while you share everything equally, what happens when he needs assisted or nursing home living both of which are extremely expensive?
So who is caring for him now? and while you share everything equally, what happens when he needs assisted or nursing home living both of which are extremely expensive?
Wow, I had forgotten I had shared this. He returned to Oregon in late September in a better frame of mind after months of some intensive therapy at the VA in Florida. While he was gone I moved to the coast into a lovely, huge, manufactured home with two masters and a big garage, so he has his space to go to when he needs to. Same for me!
I still don’t know what will happen. I live one day at a time. I have an obligation to care for him as long as it doesn’t impact my mental or physical health and that’s what I’m doing. I won’t get pulled under trying to save a drowning person though, which is why we ended up separating last year.
Every now and then someone we know who is retired & over 70 and decides to go through a divorce. I even know of an elderly couple who are both octogenarians & have been married to each other since their early 20s and live in assisted living -- and the man is filing for divorce, sending their adult kids into a frenzy.
Why bother to get a divorce when you're a senior or elderly? Frankly it seems to me like a lot of work to go through at that age.
Got to agree 25 years ago was the worst for me and my wife. I left her, hooked up with another woman. My wife asked how we was getting along? Oh she is talking about getting Married OH WE CAN"T HAVE THIS YOU MOVE BACK HERE WHERE YOU BELONG! She couldn't handle the fact another woman would have anything to do with me
Moved back everything has been great. We worry about each other all the time.
I think that a big part of the reason for late life divorces is that some are seeking freedom to find a new love or new companion who can give affection and positive interaction, feeling that it's never too late to be hopeful for affection, positive interactions, and enjoyable feelings.
And why stay in a negative situation and marriage where no love exists. Many human beings have a drive to find affection, positive regard, loving gestures, appreciation, conversation and interaction which enlivens, at any age.
Also they obviously do not want to live together any longer with their spouse. Or they do not feel emotionally able to live as a married couple any longer. (due to conflict) Some may already have a new interest as a companion or romantic partner.
What if you don't find what you seek in the present marriage after divorce? Is it still worth it? Or is one better off in a marriage that is lonely but keeps the relationship with the children intact, keeps finances a bit more secure, a stable community, and do yoga every day to find inner happiness?
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Just heard of one recently
OH WE CAN"T HAVE THIS YOU MOVE BACK HERE WHERE YOU BELONG! She couldn't handle the fact another woman would have anything to do with me 
