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Curious to hear how people have handled this and what the experience has been like.
My husband is eight years older than I am...he's turning 54 this year so we're a few years out.
While I know that he's been working longer and shouldn't have to "wait" for me, the thought of getting out of bed every day to go to work while he sleeps in and coming home after a long day to find him on the couch is NOT appealing.
Ideally we'll both wait until 67 to take social security, so I'm thinking of maybe looking for another job when he retires..something I might actually enjoy or with shorter hours. The plan is that in 10 years the house will be paid off, our son will almost be through undergrad(he'll have to be responsible for any grad school), and we'll have been socking away the max 401K/IRA contributions for a while. So even a part-time job on my part should be enough to live on, although it would reduce my SS payments somewhat, I believe.
My current Wife was 4 1/2 when I retired (28 years younger). When we first married 10 years ago, I convinced her to quit her job so we could have kids and enjoy time together. After about 7 years she went back to work as she wanted a career and her own money. Current plan is to have another child next year and I will be a house husband and she will continue working. She plans to retire at 50 so we can do a bit of world travel and then spend my final years together. It works out well as I prefer my space and friends and she feels like she is contributing and enjoy's working and having professional associates. If she changes her mind in a few year's, I'll just change the plan. Right now I will take SS at 62 then suspend from 66-70 to collect the larger survivor benefit. We will have to do a 5-10 year stint in the US so she can get citizenship and lock in some future benefits.
Curious to hear how people have handled this and what the experience has been like.
My husband is eight years older than I am...he's turning 54 this year so we're a few years out.
While I know that he's been working longer and shouldn't have to "wait" for me, the thought of getting out of bed every day to go to work while he sleeps in and coming home after a long day to find him on the couch is NOT appealing.
Do you really think he'd do that? Is there no chance that he'd have dinner ready when you got home, or that he'd do household chores and errands during the day so you wouldn't have to?
My DH and I are seven years apart, and when we first talked about retiring, I said I didn't want to wait any longer than six months before leaving work. That was fine with him, but he wanted to keep working for a few more years. (I was 52, he was 59. That's somewhat early for retirement, but we had already determined that we were financially able to swing it.) That made us talk about the division of work around the house once one of us was retired; if I retired before he did, he thought I should take on some of the chores he was currently responsible for, since I would have more free time than he did. I didn't like that idea, but couldn't argue that it was unfair, because it wasn't.
Fortunately, the question became moot when after much discussion, we both decided to retire at nearly the same time. Things have worked out very well, and we're both enjoying our time together. Now we're really a "team" working together, instead of having "his and her" chores and responsibilities.
It sounds as if you both should talk about what a fair division of responsibilities would be if one of you retired and the other continued to work. I'm sure there are others on this forum who can provide info on how they've worked things out, and hopefully they'll chime in.
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My partner is 11 years junior to me. It works for both of us. we have been together for 12 years.
He has no plans to retire early, neither do I. In fact, I hope I never have to retire! LOL He is a doc..so he can work til he feels he no longer wants to. We both love our jobs, why retire? Yes, sooner or later it will happen..but til then...we are having fun working.
My SO is a younger. However:
- I started my career right after getting my undergrad (actually, during, if you count the job shopping in tech / defense to help pay for school). Did grad school after working a few years while continuing to work. Whereas, she went straight through undergrad and grad. So I've been working continuously a lot longer than she has adjusted for our age difference. Burn out will eventually become a factor.
- My SO has a skill set that will lend itself to less age discrimination than my track has.
- However, health allowing, I can see myself going nuts if I don't work ...
- However #2 ... I really love housework and yard work (not being facetious).
I was five years older than wife.I retired earlier. She actually found it much easier as I took over getting a lot done we had had to devide. She said the jealousy thing soon faded as working became easier.
My husband is 6 years older than me. He has retired. However, he works in my business helping me during the busy times. He would like me to retire now so we can travel. I'm just not ready to. I'm not sure I will ever be ready to. I have promised him that in 6 years I will restructure my work so that it doesn't take up as much time... problem is, I don't know how I will fill that time.
Unlike most, my wife is 3 years older than me. She is retired, I have a little over a year to wait. Sometimes it is hard to get up at 5 and watch her sleep, but I don't feel slighted, just awaiting my turn.
The good news is she qualifies for Medicare when I retire and lose my company insurance!
My husband is 4 years older. He actually ended up working two years longer than he planned and I think would have worked until I could retire, but things at work just became not worth dealing with so he retired while I still had two years to go.
There really was no choice for me other than finish out those last two years or wait several years to collect a pension that would be diminishing in value.
It worked out because he took over the task of getting our house ready to sell, having dinner ready, doing laundry etc. I was in a really demanding job, so it went fast. I guess since I had always known it would be that way, it was easier to accept as well.
I think it was also good that we didn't go through the retirement adjustment at the same time. No matter what imo there is an adjustment of some kind.
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