Christian Conflicted About Homosexuality. (hell, divorce, God, Christians)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If you cannot accept him for who he is, you do not deserve to be his friend (I'm not saying you don't accept hime, I'm saying "if"). That means you don't tell him "you need to be saved" or trying to coerce him into one of those ridiculous ex-gay groups (they cause more harm than anything). Be his friend, accept him and his boyfriends as if he was bringing along a girlfriend. It's okay if you're uneasy about it, but overtime like with any socially conditioned prejudice exposure eventually takes away the discomfort.
You sound like a caring friend who will accept him and love him, which is what he needs most because homosexuals experience lots of hatred, especially from many so-called Christians.
People need to understand that a bunch of third-rate poetry and maniacal ravings written in the Bronze Age by people who didn't know any better, does not represent the latest word in human thought--not on the subject of homosexuality nor on any other subject.
People need to understand that a bunch of third-rate poetry and maniacal ravings written in the Bronze Age by people who didn't know any better, does not represent the latest word in human thought--not on the subject of homosexuality nor on any other subject.
This issue gets me hot under the collar to, but it serves no one to use derroguetory phrases to refer to a belief system held dear by so many. We should follow the example of Dr. King and other peaceful resistors. They may sling hateful words and actions at us, but we should fight back only with knowledge and a peaceful refusal to bend to their whim.
He's your best friend and clearly you love him - and that's all you really need realize and know in your spirit. You be you and let him be who he be....it's not your job, nor anyone else's, to judge or condone him. There's no reason to tell him you don't agree with his lifestyle - it only puts up a wall in your relationship - a restriction - I love you but?? Love is fully encompassing - I love you.......period
He's your best friend and clearly you love him - and that's all you really need realize and know in your spirit. You be you and let him be who he be....it's not your job, nor anyone else's, to judge or condone him. There's no reason to tell him you don't agree with his lifestyle - it only puts up a wall in your relationship - a restriction - I love you but?? Love is fully encompassing - I love you.......period
Exactly.
An older cousin of mine who I used to look up to was not all that accepting when I came out to her. I still love her but I don't really go out of my way to try to get close to her or anything like that.
Any "friend" who said they didn't agree with my "lifestyle" (a lifestyle to me is choosing to live in an RV or choosing to party every night) wouldn't be my friend.
To the OP, I guess you should just start restricting your social pool to heterosexuals only if your friend's homosexuality is causing you this much discomfort.
If you cannot accept him for who he is, you do not deserve to be his friend (I'm not saying you don't accept hime, I'm saying "if"). That means you don't tell him "you need to be saved" or trying to coerce him into one of those ridiculous ex-gay groups (they cause more harm than anything). Be his friend, accept him and his boyfriends as if he was bringing along a girlfriend. It's okay if you're uneasy about it, but overtime like with any socially conditioned prejudice exposure eventually takes away the discomfort.
You sound like a caring friend who will accept him and love him, which is what he needs most because homosexuals experience lots of hatred, especially from many so-called Christians.
Exactly. A true friend accepts you for who you are.
Ah I didn't say unfair. I said incorrect term, It seems to me that to be embracing the sin you have to believe it is a sin. Not an issue of right or wrong, just one of terminology. My question wasn't about if your view, or mine was right, just the term.
I see. One of the definitions of "embrace" is "to take up especially readily or gladly." I stand by my previous statement, because whether one believes it is a sin or not is irrelevant. That's why I mentioned adulterers and fornicators, etc. There are some who sincerely don't believe they are sinning by engaging in an adulterous affair, simply because they are "in love" with the person with whom they are involved. Likewise, many who engage in fornication don't believe they are participating in a sinful activity. But the truth is that they ARE, and as such they are indeed embracing the sin...that is, they are "taking it up readily and gladly".
I think it would be a very cruel thing to just dump him as a friend because religion teaches that homosexuality is sinful. Personally I think religion has it backwards, I think that mistreating gays and lesbians and trying to restrict their civil rights is where the sin is really occurring. I also don't believe people suddenly decide to become a homosexual and that it's not a matter of choice.
Religion (at least true Christianity) says nothing in support of "mistreating gays and lesbians and trying to restrict their civil rights." Mistreatment and hate signs have nothing to do with God. People who use them often try to use God's words to justify thier own hatred. This is not of God. However, the Bible is very clear on the issue of homosexuality. Remember that the word "sin" comes from "missing the mark" (I think it used to be used in archery way back when). In the case of Christianity, it is missing the mark that God Himself has set. Sin is not so much something we do, it is literally separating ourselves from God. "Acts of sin" separate us from God, since He is not able to look upon anything that is not of Him.
All acts of sin separate us from God, including homosexuality. Certainly it is possible to be both a Christian and a homosexual ( I know some), just as someone can be a Christian and a sinner of any kind. And actually, all Christians are sinner's, it is just that they have accepted the buying back of their soul through the gift of Jesus. As Christians we know that although we will always have sin in our lives, we should strive to change that sin, so as to live more as God asks us to live; and that we should no longer allow sin (separation) to be the pattern of our life. In the case of homosexuality, it seperates us from God because it is against His instruction, and against the order of how He designed us to be. Christians who are against same-sex marriages are against it for moral reasons, not civil rights reasons.
As for your friend Colddiamond, I think you should absolutely remain friends. Remember that our greatest commandment is love (though that doesn't mean unconditional acceptance of lifestyle, practices or etc). God has put you in your friends life (and him in yours) for many reasons. Just remember not to compromise your faith and convictions (the ones that come from God)!
Thanks ya'll. I really appreciate the feedback. Dont get me wrong...I'm STILL not used to him using the term "boyfriend" lol
It is uncomfortable to hear "boyfriend"....
You sound like a good friend, and unconditional love is a great attribute.
My guess is that eventually the relationship will grow more distant the deeper your friend goes into the gay lifestyle, you most likely will not have to do anything but be there for the storms that will inevitably come.
Thanks ya'll. I really appreciate the feedback. Dont get me wrong...I'm STILL not used to him using the term "boyfriend" lol
As someone who was in a similar closet once (though we tend to call it 'the broom closet' ) --
It's not something to which you'll ever quite adjust (mostly because of our societal 'conditioning' to equate 'boyfriend' with 'girlfriend'). I'll agree with your first point, though: he was your friend before he came out, so why does it matter now?
Too often, religion divides us into 'us' and 'them' -- and in the process, it turns friend against friend, family against family, and causes far more damage than we realize.
Stick with your friend. He's very brave for outing himself in today's uncertain society.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
) --