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It surprises me that so many men don't want to date single moms. Why is that? Is it because you don't like children, or you think the woman is a loser because she's not with a man, or what?
For me, it can go either way. A mom whose kids are out of control brats is an instant turn-off. A mom whose kids are a reflection of her love and intelligent parental skills is a HUGE turn-on because it says so much about her character and also because I love children who aren't screwed up in the head.
It's kind of like dogs --- I would have a hard time dating a woman who doesn't care if her dog poops on someone else's lawn or jump up on people with muddy paws. It's just rude and shows a lack of concern for anything that is inconvenient. But a loving dog owner will not only raise a lovable pooch, she'll also be considerate about the dog's effect on others.
And one last thing --- at 53 years old, I don't really want to have kids of my own but I would like to have the experience of being a dad. So... the best option for me is a single mom.
Yep, I've only dated single moms. I'm in the same boat so it's been a good fit and we understand each others situations.
I will say that HOW they became single moms and what their kids are like etc. are going to weigh very heavily into how I view her and I'm certain that goes both ways.
This subject has been discussed plenty of times. You can do a search and find lots and lots of threads. But to summarize, the reason so many men don't want to date a single mom is because they're afraid of being on the hook financially, that the mother is looking for a father figure for her child, and that he'll have to compete with the kid for their mother's attention. If you're willing to date someone with kids, that's great. Don't buy into a lot of the stereotypes that are out there. At the same time, don't date one so that you can feel like a father. The kids may or may not have one and will not need another one.
Still, it is refreshing to hear that there are guys out there that would welcome moms, and actually prefer dating moms. No doubt, there are extra challenges when you date someone with kids (men and women alike). But as a mom, I too would prefer to date a dad. A good dad. It's nice to see that a man can be kind and affectionate with kids, that his attention can be focused on someone else besides himself.
Personally, if I were single, I wouldn't need to date a guy to be a father figure to my kids, or to support them. But I'd rather be with a guy who drives an SUV to truck his kids to their games, than one who pulls up in his Porsche, and thinks he's "all that". I think it says a lot to someone's character if they can love little human beings, esp. if they are not their own. I know I could love someone else's kids (well, as long as they weren't the Antichrist!), and would want to be with someone that felt the same about mine. It just adds another dimension to a relationship, I think.
I'm glad to know there are men out there who tolerate dating single moms... just in case I ever find myself single.
I have so much more I could say about women who are looking for a father figure and/or financial help or who use their single status to excuse dumping their children off on someone so they can go out partying all.the.time..... ugh. I guess what I really hate is how some people assume that all single moms are like that.
Admirable - but are you ready for the emotional and financial chains that come with that responsibility?
Most men don't take this into consideration before clicking up with a single mom. When you're with a single mom, you are essentially put on the backburner because her mindset is looking out for #1, her child and rightfully so.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
This subject has been discussed plenty of times. You can do a search and find lots and lots of threads. But to summarize, the reason so many men don't want to date a single mom is because they're afraid of being on the hook financially, that the mother is looking for a father figure for her child, and that he'll have to compete with the kid for their mother's attention. If you're willing to date someone with kids, that's great. Don't buy into a lot of the stereotypes that are out there. At the same time, don't date one so that you can feel like a father. The kids may or may not have one and will not need another one.
Most single moms are looking for a father figure for their child. Very few, if any moms are looking for a partner that compliments them in every way. However, if she raises her child(ren) right then I could make an exception
It surprises me that so many men don't want to date single moms. Why is that? Is it because you don't like children, or you think the woman is a loser because she's not with a man, or what?
For me, it can go either way. A mom whose kids are out of control brats is an instant turn-off. A mom whose kids are a reflection of her love and intelligent parental skills is a HUGE turn-on because it says so much about her character and also because I love children who aren't screwed up in the head.
It's kind of like dogs --- I would have a hard time dating a woman who doesn't care if her dog poops on someone else's lawn or jump up on people with muddy paws. It's just rude and shows a lack of concern for anything that is inconvenient. But a loving dog owner will not only raise a lovable pooch, she'll also be considerate about the dog's effect on others.
And one last thing --- at 53 years old, I don't really want to have kids of my own but I would like to have the experience of being a dad. So... the best option for me is a single mom.
Most single moms are looking for a father figure for their child. Very few, if any moms are looking for a partner that compliments them in every way.
What percentage of total single moms do you know, in America? I think the most any one person could know is .1%. Yet, you throw a huge blanket over a large group of people.
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Last edited by yankeegirl313; 03-04-2010 at 04:43 PM..
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