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Go home, you weren't ready for this kind of committment. It's time to cut your loses. If you were REALLY meant to be with him you wouldn't even be able to think about leaving.
Trust me my friend, I'm the last one here to see the world as always black and white
I just meant, if this were a mature committed relationship she'd be able to stick it out (as long as he's not abusive, an alcoholic or some other deviant). In mature committed relationships when the chips are down the couple function as a team - one party doesn't turn tail and run - does that make more sense to you?
I think it's usually a mistake to stay together to prevent breaking the other person's heart. I also agree with LovesMountains that if you really loved him, you wouldn't be considering leaving.
You'll break his heart, and you'll second guess your decision from time to time, but the relationship is apparently not going well, and you're under no obligation to try to fix it.
About a year ago, I relocated to the west coast with my boyfriend. My family didn't approve and I didn't feel very confident about moving in with my boyfriend without being married (I'm old fashioned).
In these past few months, things have not been great. My BF was laid off and I basically hated my job. When this happened, we saw it as an opportunity to move back east to be closer to home. However, due to the economy, no one wants to hire out of state candidates and he ended up accepting an offer in the west coast again. During this time, we fought constantly and I started to realize how different we were (different points of view to many things in life). I decided to quit my job (for other reasons) and now want the opportunity to relocate to the east coast, closer to home. I’m currently interviewing with several companies and I think there is a good possibility of getting hired. However, my BF is mad at me for wanting to leave. He keeps reminding me of all our memories and things we currently have (dog) and I just keep feeling so bad for wanting to leave. He feels betrayed because he tried to leave and couldn't’t, and he thought that would be the end of it (that I wouldn't’t try to relocate)
I feel terrible for this whole situation, but I can’t help wanting to be close to home. I also told him that I could move first, and eventually, he can move when he gets job offer in the east coast.
I’m so confused. I feel that If I don’t go, I’ll always be thinking “what if”. If I go, I know I’ll break his heart.
Any response is appreciated, thanks.
The "what if"'s work two ways: What happens if you don't go?
I agree with what everyone else says here.. and I think you already know what to do.
But, I'll give you some homework here as well, just to help you make up your mind.
Grab a piece of paper and draw a big T on it. On the right side, list the positives for leaving. On the left side, list the negatives. Spend about a week or two on it, giving yourself time to think of all the possibilities. Be honest. After your time is up, however much time you decide, look again at the list and see which side is longer.
If you've been honest with yourself, your answer should be clear as a bright sunny day.
In mature committed relationships when the chips are down the couple function as a team - one party doesn't turn tail and run - does that make more sense to you?
I know it sounds cliche, but if it was meant to be...it will happen.
I hate wondering "what if" and don't want to live a life full of regrets. If it were me, and based upon what you described, I would continue on with my plans and hope for the best.
Whatever your decision, I wish you the best.
I agree! So, that being said, follow your head and not your heart! Good luck!
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