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It's been well over 10 years since I had a relationship with a female, which was back in high school. It never got to a very intimate level.
Anyway, since then I've always been quite lonely, and dealing with the emotional need was tough. I've been in contact with several girls throughout the period, in college, but they never were intersted. I remember this one girl I fell real bad for who worked in a Sears, but even though she was friendly, she wasn't interested either. It seems the type of girl who I am attracted to, usually slim petite brunettes with a sweet shy personality, seem to go for rougher, rather tall bad boy types (as most women do). Being short myself (5'2) I figure a petite would work out best for me, I believe it is often best to date someone of similar height, at least thats what I feel comfortable with. Yet given some stuff I have been seeing on The Science Channel, it seems women are attracted to guys totally their opposite, which does not bode well for me, as agressive, pushy personality types (the opposite of my personality) would be my option.
Anyway the emotional need for a relationship is now turning quite physical, making my anxiety disorder, IBS, and other problems worse. When I see a girl I like or I get turned on my stomach gets all shaky and my nervous system goes into overload. I guess all these years of being alone is finally having an effect.
I've tried online dating services such as Match.com but they have been utterly useless as I never seem to get any responses.
I'm just sick of being alone, longing for a sweet petite to hold me at night.
I know it's a very personal issue that I will probably regret bringing up on the internet, as countless people usually take advantage of posts like these to tease or fool me, but I'd like to hear some advice on what to do.
It doesn't help that I'm ridiclously shy. I saw a nice girl on a bus the other day and was trying to see if we could start up a conversation, but she was too busy reading a book. Some girls will smile at me but if I want to get involved in a conversation it just doesn't happen.
Valentines is around the corner, and with spring and summer coming it will be quite hard to deal with seeing the women looking nice...and well you get the idea.
I love aggressive, pushy girls, much more fun to hang out with them. Anyway, have some '*********, I don't need you" attitude can help, believe it or not, you tend to get what you don't really want/care. Life is a manipulative ***** who loves to mess with you, the more you want something, the less likely you will have it. Have some attitude, it's not science, but it's incredibly effective, at least according to my experience.
Anyway, have some '*********, I don't need you" attitude can help, believe it or not, you tend to get what you don't really want/care. Life is a manipulative ***** who loves to mess with you, the more you want something, the less likely you will have it. Have some attitude, it's not science, but it's incredibly effective, at least according to my experience.
I agree. i have attracted more with that i don't need you attitude and i have gotten what i don't want or care for. trouble is it is harder to play it on women that i really do want--it either just doesn't work or the women i really want are all taken.
There are plenty of things that interest me that I am involved in, such as hiking and photography, so finding a woman is not the only thing I think of. But I still need someone, and I often am reminded of this when I see other couples. The only place, oddly enough, that I dont feel lonely is in the middle of the woods, because there's nothing to make me think of women.
I don't have a problem with the way I look, I dont think I'm any less of a man because I'm 5'2. But trust me, its quite difficult for women to not look past it, most of the time I can tell their expression when they look at me. It's sorta like "what a nice man, but I'm not turned on", whereas when they look at tall guys it's "here's my hero, my tall dark knight" kinda deal.
I cant dismiss it because I know it exists
I realize this may belong in the Relationships forum, but for me I do feel it is a health issue, as it is a known fact that people who dont have relationships and marry have more health problems.
Sorry John but how can you possibly know what someone is thinking when they look at you?
My point being that no matter what you do if you keep buying into these "reports" about what women want without actually talking to women then you're setting yourself up for a "self fulfilling prophecy" of sorts.
I could probably find a plethora of articles and reports right now that would tell me all the reasons why I should be single and how I don't "fit" the "requirements" that seemingly other people have but as I don't buy into this kind of reporting and I recognized a long time ago that actually talking to people debunks quite a few of these "truths" about what people are looking for, despite all the most "scientific" of evidence to the contrary I am not single AND have only ever been single when I have chosen to be so.
I guess the bottom line is, these articles and reports you are reading are not getting you in the frame of mind that is condusive to you finding someone so my best suggestion to you is, they're not working for you and you'd do well to ignore them and find your own path to what you want.
It's been well over 10 years since I had a relationship with a female, which was back in high school. It never got to a very intimate level.
Anyway, since then I've always been quite lonely, and dealing with the emotional need was tough. I've been in contact with several girls throughout the period, in college, but they never were intersted. I remember this one girl I fell real bad for who worked in a Sears, but even though she was friendly, she wasn't interested either. It seems the type of girl who I am attracted to, usually slim petite brunettes with a sweet shy personality, seem to go for rougher, rather tall bad boy types (as most women do). Being short myself (5'2) I figure a petite would work out best for me, I believe it is often best to date someone of similar height, at least thats what I feel comfortable with. Yet given some stuff I have been seeing on The Science Channel, it seems women are attracted to guys totally their opposite, which does not bode well for me, as agressive, pushy personality types (the opposite of my personality) would be my option.
Anyway the emotional need for a relationship is now turning quite physical, making my anxiety disorder, IBS, and other problems worse. When I see a girl I like or I get turned on my stomach gets all shaky and my nervous system goes into overload. I guess all these years of being alone is finally having an effect.
I've tried online dating services such as Match.com but they have been utterly useless as I never seem to get any responses.
I'm just sick of being alone, longing for a sweet petite to hold me at night.
I know it's a very personal issue that I will probably regret bringing up on the internet, as countless people usually take advantage of posts like these to tease or fool me, but I'd like to hear some advice on what to do.
It doesn't help that I'm ridiclously shy. I saw a nice girl on a bus the other day and was trying to see if we could start up a conversation, but she was too busy reading a book. Some girls will smile at me but if I want to get involved in a conversation it just doesn't happen.
Valentines is around the corner, and with spring and summer coming it will be quite hard to deal with seeing the women looking nice...and well you get the idea.
You sound like a really nice guy to me with a big heart - but you are just obviously too shy right now to be able to help yourself get what you want.
Here's what I think you need to do - get some counseling and/or a life coach. You need some help coming out of your shell from someone who has experience in helping others such as yourself. You CAN overcome this, but you have to really want to badly enough to do some things differently, like seek professional help. Best of luck!
There are plenty of things that interest me that I am involved in, such as hiking and photography, so finding a woman is not the only thing I think of. But I still need someone, and I often am reminded of this when I see other couples. The only place, oddly enough, that I dont feel lonely is in the middle of the woods, because there's nothing to make me think of women.
I don't have a problem with the way I look, I dont think I'm any less of a man because I'm 5'2. But trust me, its quite difficult for women to not look past it, most of the time I can tell their expression when they look at me. It's sorta like "what a nice man, but I'm not turned on", whereas when they look at tall guys it's "here's my hero, my tall dark knight" kinda deal.
I cant dismiss it because I know it exists
I realize this may belong in the Relationships forum, but for me I do feel it is a health issue, as it is a known fact that people who dont have relationships and marry have more health problems.
hahah that 20/20 report is baloney! All the women clearly know what is trying to be tested. They give the 5 men, varying heights, then list their occupation. Then ask them a couple questions about height and income. It is a lot more acceptable for women to say they like taller men. However, if they said they liked the millionaire or the doctor they would automatically be labeled a whor*. Something which is very frowned upon in this society. Notice women NEVER say they are looking for a guy with money or who is wealthy. Of course they also use every trick in the book to find out how much money you have like: what you wear, what cars you drive, what area code you live in among the thousands of other things. They always mask it as looking for a man who is successful, well educated, or on the right track. Just check dating sites yourself!
If that short guy went to the club and was a doctor/millionaire he would have no problems finding a girlfriend and a hot one at that!
As for the OP, you've gotta learn to talk to chicks. Honestly, if you don't ever talk to them how will you ever get a relationship?????? You won't. Just take the risks, flirt with a girl for once. You'll mess up a lot but who cares sooner or later you will find someone. If you think the first chick you talk to is going to fall for you then you are living in a fantasy land. There are so many chicks out there that you should just play the numbers game. I get turned down all the time but since I play the numbers game I eventually find someone who is into me. Don't go after someone who isn't into you the sex is terrible and you just get hurt in the end.
The easiest way to pick up chicks is by giving them your myspace. When you see a hot chick just ask them a question, "hey do you know what time it is?" when they answer say, "oh cool" and start a conversation from there. Only talk for a few minutes and when you leave say you seem like a cool person, here is my myspace, add me. Then just leave. If they are interested, they will add you, if not who cares you didn't invest much time into them. If they add you then it becomes VERY easy to contact them and ask for phone number or plan out a future time to meet. It doesn't get much easier than that.
Last edited by killer2021; 02-09-2009 at 09:38 PM..
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