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I recently dated a guy who lied uncontrollably. I mean about things that sometimes didn't even matter. He was married at the time we started seeing each other- bad enough in itself, I KNOW! (He eventually divorced to pursue another relationship.) When he and I started seeing each other, he ended another relationship he was already in. Over the course of our "relationship" he got involved with or slept with at least 3 other girls-that I know about. He prided himself in being a great lover- which he was and loved to hear me tell him.
When I was suspicious he was lying about something, I asked him about it. More than once, he looked me in the eye and with the most sincere look on his face, denied it. Everytime I caught him in a lie and confronted him, if he knew he couldn't deny it, he would get angry and hang up the phone or leave.
When he was with me, he could make me feel like there was no one else in this world that mattered. Then he would go and do the hurtful things that he knew devastated me and try to justify them only when he got caught.
Now I see all these posts and websites about sociopathic behavior and narcissism. I would like opinions on whether he truly shows the signs of this behavior or am I just a woman scorned???
Oh please, he is just selfish, self-absorbed, and immature. And I'll even explain all three.
He's selfish because he's only thinking about his own needs - basically girls.
He's self-aborbed because well... he's so into himself and his amazing "lover" skills.
He's immature because he's still doing the good old high school thing of hanging up the phone if things weren't going his way and doing mean little things because he knew they would hurt you/make you mad. I did these things occasionally in high school to some of my friends (I was a cheerleader, I swear it almost ran in the squad's genes to do ridiculous and petty stuff).
He may be narcisstic but I don't think he's a sociopath... is he a manipulator?
All the things you said about him including manipulativeness are deal breakers for me in BOTH relationships, and friendships. I don't put up with that type of garbage.
Neither should you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by feeling stupid
yes.
looking back, he manipulated the whole r-ship. Everything was always on his terms/schedule.
I recently dated a guy who lied uncontrollably. I mean about things that sometimes didn't even matter. He was married at the time we started seeing each other- bad enough in itself, I KNOW! (He eventually divorced to pursue another relationship.) When he and I started seeing each other, he ended another relationship he was already in. Over the course of our "relationship" he got involved with or slept with at least 3 other girls-that I know about. He prided himself in being a great lover- which he was and loved to hear me tell him.
When I was suspicious he was lying about something, I asked him about it. More than once, he looked me in the eye and with the most sincere look on his face, denied it. Everytime I caught him in a lie and confronted him, if he knew he couldn't deny it, he would get angry and hang up the phone or leave.
When he was with me, he could make me feel like there was no one else in this world that mattered. Then he would go and do the hurtful things that he knew devastated me and try to justify them only when he got caught.
Now I see all these posts and websites about sociopathic behavior and narcissism. I would like opinions on whether he truly shows the signs of this behavior or am I just a woman scorned???
Did he start calling you paranoid as well? Because what you've described has happened to me too along with being accused of paranoia when I questioned the behaviours.
Bottom line? You've done nothing wrong and whatever you want to label his behaviour, you won't change it and you are worthy of so much more than what he's dished out. Cut your losses, remember you've done nothing wrong and get as far away from him as you can.
he told me I "over thought" things. or i suspected something and kept digging until i got the answer i was looking for.
That's typical hiding-something behavior.
I know it's hard to think this way right now, but I agree that you'll never know and that it doesn't really matter...you're out of that situation and eventually, looking back, you'll be glad. Relieved.
I know it's hard to think this way right now, but I agree that you'll never know and that it doesn't really matter...you're out of that situation and eventually, looking back, you'll be glad. Relieved.
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