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Here's the deal. Loneliness is an inside job. That is, if you don't have a good relationship with yourself, you can be remain very lonely no matter what you're involved in or how many "friends" you have. In addition, most people would not isolate themselves as you seem to have done.... my (educated) guess here is that the way you isolate yourself is not the problem itself, but another symptom of the problem. And the problem could be any number of things... depression, low self-esteem, substance abuse, and probably a laundry-list of other things too numerous to name.
So, yeah... for starters, I'd say try treating the symptom by getting outside of yourself and doing something. I would suggest some type of volunteer work... something that will allow your to help others... the focus should be on helping someone else in order for you to get out of your funk. It may be a bit ironic, but it's tough to help yourself when you're focusing entirely on yourself. You need to put the focus outside of yourself in order to help yourself, if that makes any sense.
And if that doesn't get you on the right track, do what I and some others on the board do, and start seeing a shrink.
AGREED! There is a BIG difference between being alone and being lonely.
How to fight loneliness smile all the time. shine your teeth till meaningless. Sharpen them with lies. Aand whatever' s going down will follow you around. That's how you fight loneliness. You laugh at every joke. Drag your blanket blindly. And, fill your heart with smoke. The first thing that you want will be the last thing you ever need. That's how you fight it. Just smile all the time.
How to fight loneliness smile all the time. shine your teeth till meaningless. Sharpen them with lies. Aand whatever' s going down will follow you around. That's how you fight loneliness. You laugh at every joke. Drag your blanket blindly. And, fill your heart with smoke. The first thing that you want will be the last thing you ever need. That's how you fight it. Just smile all the time.
Jeff Tweedy 1999
haha that's exactly where I got the title for this thread from. One of my favorite bands for sure.
In July of 2007, I moved to Pittsburgh (Moon Township). I knew no one here, but had a great opportunity to finish my degree and have a decent job so I left behind my social scene and came here. Unfortunately, nothing has really changed. I haven't met any friends to hang out with outside of school and I've been single for over a year. My question to everyone here is, if you've dealt with this or know someone who has, how do you keep from going crazy with this lifestyle? It doesn't always bother me when I'm working and going to school and being around people that way, but making friends here is something I've struggled with so far, and spending every night alone in front of the computer or TV or going to the gym alone is starting to get to me.
Someone gave me an idea which turned out to be great. Meetup.com is all over the country and there's something for everyone. Check it out.
I am in a similar situation. My husband and I moved here a year and a half ago knowing no one. Outside of work acquaintances, neither of us have made any friends. But I worked really, really hard to try to make friends. I joined groups, we invited people out, etc. People are just too crazy busy, it seems, to make new friends, or they already have all the friends they need. It makes it difficult for a newcomer, that's for sure.
The problem with believing that joining groups is the solution is that many people just want to do the activity, and not necessarily make friends. Yes, I've met lots of new people going to all these groups, but none of them have turned into friendships. You definitely feel less lonely going out, and it's nice to socialize, but at least in my husband's and my experience, these groups have all turned out disappointing, as our main interest in going to them was to make friends.
I do agree that there's a big difference between being alone and being lonely. For the first year we were here, I was extremely lonely. Then, somehow, I started to enjoy my own company. Now, I don't mind going to the theater alone, or out to dinner alone.
In July of 2007, I moved to Pittsburgh (Moon Township). I knew no one here, but had a great opportunity to finish my degree and have a decent job so I left behind my social scene and came here. Unfortunately, nothing has really changed. I haven't met any friends to hang out with outside of school and I've been single for over a year. My question to everyone here is, if you've dealt with this or know someone who has, how do you keep from going crazy with this lifestyle? It doesn't always bother me when I'm working and going to school and being around people that way, but making friends here is something I've struggled with so far, and spending every night alone in front of the computer or TV or going to the gym alone is starting to get to me.
Porn........
(Thank you.... Thank you very much..... I'll be here all week.... )
Three years ago, I got involved with the film festival in my town, this month marks my third year of involvement. I started as a volunteer & somehow worked my way into a paid position, in fact, during our film fest run...I've made some wonderful girlfriends each year & have continued good friendships with a number of people...it's also been a great way to meet people with similar interests in the Arts...hasn't been quite the guy magnet ticket, but good girlfriends are important & we do get a lot of hot directors, actors & the such coming through in the male genre....
Anyhow, that's what I did...I go to the gym but it's my solo gig where I turn up my grateful dead & space out for an hour...I wouldn't want to be picked up at the gym either...that's my real "alone" time & the music keeps me motivated as well as some times soothes my soul when I get blue...nothing like good exercise because that is one thing no one else can do for you but you....
I don't mind being alone, but I do understand your "lonelieness" issue...I feel it sometimes on Sundays....keeping occupied is the best remedy & sometimes just getting out of the house & still being alone is better than staying in the house.
I was thinking of taking a belly dancing class (been through years of Jazz & ballet as a child but I can only dance to the dead) and I'd like to learn some updated moves...maybe even help the shape the belly...I also like the marshal arts thought, in this day, it would be very useful!
Good luck & I feel ya!
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