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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,995,252 times
Reputation: 40635
I swear to god that these forums are damn frustrating. It's like spectrum happy hour. It's nearly impossible to have a conversation or help someone. Grrr.
I swear to god that these forums are damn frustrating. It's like spectrum happy hour. It's nearly impossible to have a conversation or help someone. Grrr.
It seems to have gotten worse though.
I was getting a few "new member" DMs that were a little puzzling. The the thing is though, inaccurately accusing me of being a man-hating lonely 40 y.o. B$#@&, only reveals their deepest fears or insecurities. As I was telling a m o d, (while changing my settings) 10 years ago when I actually was 40, and sleeping alone, was probably the happiest time of my life.
Being alone isn't frightening or sad to me, I'm headed that way very shortly. I suppose it's a different state of mind though when it isn't involuntary.
It seems to have gotten worse though.
I was getting a few "new member" DMs that were a little puzzling. The the thing is though, inaccurately accusing me of being a man-hating lonely 40 y.o. B$#@&, only reveals their deepest fears or insecurities. As I was telling a m o d, (while changing my settings) 10 years ago when I actually was 40, and sleeping alone, was probably the happiest time of my life.
Being alone isn't frightening or sad to me, I'm headed that way very shortly. I suppose it's a different state of mind though when it isn't involuntary.
Bitter people tend to project, eh? They usually point out and criticize in others the things they loathe about themselves.
My sister goes on and on about her ex's narcissism, for instance.
Ah, at the very least there are a trilogy of books comprising a creation story and early history of man - Old Testament/Torah, New Testament and the Quran. All cultures have creation stories whether they are written or passed along orally. In its simplest of forms the Judeo-Christian and even Muslim faiths boil down to 10 Commandments. Everything else is open to interpretation, and the practice of traditions and customs. Due to the order of the books, it is said a Jew can deny a Christian and a Muslim. A Christian cannot deny a Jew, but can deny a Muslim, and a Muslim can neither deny a Jew nor a Christian.
As for your ex, if he didn't love you he wouldn't give a rat's patoody. Let's ask you a question, if you don't care about him and what he thinks, what difference does his beliefs make?
However, if I recall correctly, you are into polyamore or whatever its called. Doesn't it make sense that a certain amount of suspicion, paranoia and even jealousy would naturally come with that territory? Wouldn't a certain amount of that need to be tolerated, until it passes?
It would seem to me that you invite a certain amount of that into you bedroom, once you invite guests into a relationship.
Im not judging, Im just asking...and saying, lol. If you love him, ask him if he can get over it. Like, for the sake of argument, let's say he's correct - can he get over it?
Gonna briefly (I hope) hit the last stuff then ask to close the subject, since I feel it's getting too heavy for the light chat thread, and don't want to keep going-- I don't care what he believes except insofar as a) we have to co-parent so I can't block/ignore him, and he keeps pestering me with this drama. b.) I often worry, given his vindictive nature and intense need for attention, that if I just let him stew and don't still "manage" him some, at least when he's riled up, that he might in fact shoot me. He is a well armed, highly trained expert marksman. I do not trust him when his sanity get shaky.
And no, polyamory has nothing to do with this. During my marriage I was monogamous and faithful, and I am back to doing that now. I was poly-ish (without knowing terms for it) pre-ex-husband, as a teenager, and I did that for a good year or so after we broke up, but before closing my relationship with present BF. It was nice, but not sustainable for me. And no, there was not jealousy, paranoia, or suspicion involved with that. Because no one hid anything from anyone. That's what makes poly different from cheating, everything is honest and above-board. No "guests" in the bedroom, as I was not in a 2-person dyad relationship. We were all equal partners in it. I wasn't in a sort of open marriage or anything.
OK, that's it, if you want to talk further, ComeCloser, I am definitely down, but PM me, K? Thanks!
On a lighter note-
Today is a better day. I was really in a funk dealing with stuff yesterday, but good food, good sleep, time with a few friends, really worked wonders.
The humidity here was 97% this morning and it wasn't raining. How does that even happen? Do not like.
I'm weird. I like humidity. I'm the only person I know who does, I think.
I grew up in Virginia, so humid summers, and nights with fireflies, the sound of cicadas and the smell of honeysuckle, are what summertime was supposed to feel like. As I've moved west, and ended up here in Colorado, the dryness is not appealing to me. I go through crazy amounts of lotion, guzzle water constantly, and it's like being under a blowdryer out there when it's windy and hot and dry. "High Plains Desert." Then everything bursts into flames. yay, wonderful.
The ONLY thing that doesn't suck about it, is that you can get in the shade and it's much cooler. In humid places, it's still hot in the shade. The moisture seems to carry the heat.
When visiting Virginia, I love to dash out of the airport for a smoke as soon as possible, and part of that isn't even needing one, it's just my eagerness to feel the air on my skin. "Air like hot syrup." lol Feels like home and nostalgia.
I'm weird. I like humidity. I'm the only person I know who does, I think.
I grew up in Virginia, so humid summers, and nights with fireflies, the sound of cicadas and the smell of honeysuckle, are what summertime was supposed to feel like. As I've moved west, and ended up here in Colorado, the dryness is not appealing to me. I go through crazy amounts of lotion, guzzle water constantly, and it's like being under a blowdryer out there when it's windy and hot and dry. "High Plains Desert." Then everything bursts into flames. yay, wonderful.
The ONLY thing that doesn't suck about it, is that you can get in the shade and it's much cooler. In humid places, it's still hot in the shade. The moisture seems to carry the heat.
When visiting Virginia, I love to dash out of the airport for a smoke as soon as possible, and part of that isn't even needing one, it's just my eagerness to feel the air on my skin. "Air like hot syrup." lol Feels like home and nostalgia.
OK, you're the one
I live near St. Louis, which is nearly surrounded by two of the biggest rivers in the country. It's a veritable sauna here from mid May until early September. The bulk of September can be beautiful, Autumn is often full of color and cool, crisp days, and we get just enough winter to keep me happy. But the summers are
I live near St. Louis, which is nearly surrounded by two of the biggest rivers in the country. It's a veritable sauna here from mid May until early September. The bulk of September can be beautiful, Autumn is often full of color and cool, crisp days, and we get just enough winter to keep me happy. But the summers are
Mmmmm...Autumn.
I miss proper Autumn, too. It's mostly aspens here, and while they are pretty in their own way I guess, they are nothing so amazing as the blazing variety of oranges and reds back east.
Sometimes I imagine the sound of wind blowing a million dry leaves down an autumn street, as a calming exercise.
I did not like autumn in Ohio, though. Too dull and grey. But despite all the rain, it was actually really cool in Washington state, because it would get super mega foggy sometimes. I had my house all decorated for Halloween one year, and we had a thick foggy night with temps in the 60's. It was fantastic, best Halloween weather EVER.
You would think I did not love it here, the way I dreamily talk about the weather everywhere else, but I do...I really adore Colorado and don't really want to live anywhere else. It's just that it's more because of the people than the weather.
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