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Thanks for sharing this article! I think it explains to an extent what just happened to me. I definitely had those ups and downs during my last relationship, and I think he dumped me when he was in a down wave moment. In many ways, we were a really great match.
Yes, the author said that many, many what could have been great relationships have ended this way. It's a shame. Some people just like to keep moving quickly when anything at all shows up that isn't perfect. I think people with more options are more likely to do this.
Yes, the author said that many, many what could have been great relationships have ended this way. It's a shame. Some people just like to keep moving quickly when anything at all shows up that isn't perfect. I think people with more options are more likely to do this.
Yes, I did this once because he was ready for a serious, committed relationship and I was not. He was a few years older than me and far more mature at the time. I did not know how to handle his advances and so I just freaked out and ran. It was the wrong way to handle it, but really it was for the better because I just wasn't ready.
Yes, I did this once because he was ready for a serious, committed relationship and I was not. He was a few years older than me and far more mature at the time. I did not know how to handle his advances and so I just freaked out and ran. It was the wrong way to handle it, but really it was for the better because I just wasn't ready.
You could have had the decency to tell him that you just weren't ready instead of ghosting on him!
Even people that supposedly know how to screen out people sometimes end up getting shocked.
You can't always know who's dysfunctional or not, at least early in a relationship. Anyone that says otherwise is lying, in my opinion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by skywalker2014
Not early but within the 6 dates rule you can get somewhat of the big picture.
But nonetheless it´s sometimes a shocker.
Sure, there are a lot of chameleons out there, but usually you really know someone when it´s under pressure.
I think you're both right, but in the situation I was thinking of when I started this thread, I had been dating a man for about 5 weeks and it was pretty intense, and then the day after an extremely romantic date, he just called it off--muttered something about being scared and that was the end of it.
The thing is, from what I could tell, he was never dysfunctional--came from a great family with close relationships to all his relatives, decent career that he loves, no obvious emotional problems. He stated from the beginning that he was looking for a long-term relationship and was tired of the dating scene and was looking for his "last relationship" and was truly hoping it would be me. And then I think, things just got too real.
Some would call me naive, but I do believe that he was sincere and the reason I think so is that when things turned, he was incapable of pretending and that's when he called it off. But I just wonder, how could things just do a 180 like that, and yet I've had it happen to me as well--I usually will go on a bit longer though just to make sure it's not a mood.
Not early but within the 6 dates rule you can get somewhat of the big picture.
But nonetheless it´s sometimes a shocker.
Sure, there are a lot of chameleons out there, but usually you really know someone when it´s under pressure.
This made me remember a prior date though--it was after our 5th date I think and I had gone out to the health club that night and my phone was in my purse but of course I didn't hear it as I was on the elliptical. When I got out to the car I checked my phone and he had burned it up! There were about 3-4 messages on there and he had gotten increasingly agitated that he couldn't get hold of me and then when I got home, he'd called my home phone as well and it was even worse. Yikes! I did realize then that there was a problem. A shocker, as you say.
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