What do men think if a woman hardly has any friends? (dating, movies)
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I rejected a guy last month (he wasn't my type and didn't hold my same values either; I'm only seeking my male counterpart) and he thought I'm a woman that has some friends, has been in several relationships but is now single and go out sometimes; he thought I was the typical woman and what is to be expected. I lied about it.
The truth is I hardly ever get invited to parties, much less movies by friends. I hardly ever have friends and I'm not really an introverted individual as many think. I always had problem making friends and when I do, they either aren't interest in continue hanging out with me or might one day invite me, only to cancel it in the following days; something always happen. Basically, I'm really a loner with only very few occasional friends and only hang out with my family sometimes. I get the feeling that maybe I might be lacking some social skills (I never had actually friends as a kid and teen either, just few I would sometimes hang out with out of luck). Though, getting a bf wouldn't be a problem if I weren't too selective; I just don't want any man, not less former womanizers with double standards.
This is what I've been wondering: if a man meets a woman in her mid-late 20's that hardly ever has any friends and other than trying to finish her major, she's stuck at home in her spare time what would he really think of her? Some people think I got out once a week but actually the last time I've gone to a party has been about 2-3 years ago and that's only out of luck. Overall, having very few friends that I wouldn't even called friends since I don't even hang out with them either was never my choice. Not sure if some men might mind this and find it kind of weird. Or do men generally don't care about this??
I dated a woman who had few friends, all of 2, and while I was dating her, she was trying to stay in contact with me constantly and wanting me to take her places because she didn't want to go alone, then complained about not having enough friends in her life.
It's become a red flag for me. I understand not having a bunch of friends and all, but only having 1 or 2 friends sends a signal to me that she may not be a super likable person.
I dated a woman who had few friends, all of 2, and while I was dating her, she was trying to stay in contact with me constantly and wanting me to take her places because she didn't want to go alone, then complained about not having enough friends in her life.
It's become a red flag for me. I understand not having a bunch of friends and all, but only having 1 or 2 friends sends a signal to me that she may not be a super likable person.
To be honest I really don't know what I'm doing wrong nor what have I failed during my early years. I've always tried my best to get along with everyone and the last time I got invited to a party, get along with the conversation and they seemed to enjoy my company at the time. But then when it's over, everyone goes to their separate ways and it's like they don't even care about me anymore.
Other times in my workplace, I had to actually join in a conversation with sit down with the group in order for anyone to talk to me. Once again, they all enjoyed my company and started talking to me but when it's over, that's it.
Now I don't even care anymore. I give up and if anyone doesn't want to go up to me and talk to me, I ain't talking. I think this is the major reason why I accepted my ex bf as a friend (at least 1 person to talk to is better than none). He knows I don't love him but seems to understand me better.
This does goes all the way back to my early years. I used to sit by myself at lunch starting from 4th grade and all the way till junior high. During my HS years, I initially started hanging out with 5 girls and I was so happy that finally I was getting the hang of it. Suddenly, they all got bored after only 1 months later and wouldn't say hi to me no more or wouldn't care if I was missing. From then on, the only single friend I would spend time with was Alexandra and it was at the library or Adriana whenever she had my same schedule; once in a while it was with a popular girl who by chance did befriended me but she also had her group too.
During my 12th grade, it was actually a kind of lonely and invisible year for me. Adriana has already graduated, Alexandra left to another school and my popular friend was with her group. If lucky, then I would talk to some new people.
OP, given how many men complain that so many women are party girls, I would think that someone would be happy to find a woman like yourself. Besides, you're still in school. It's not unusual to be more devoted to studies at this time in your life.
Some people only have one or two close friends, others have dozens of casual friends. Myself, I tend to somehow end up with friends who have professions that cause them to move a lot, so I make friends, but then they move out of town! As a result, I have friends all over the US and abroad, but at the moment, I don't have close friends where I live. I don't think it's a big deal. Really, I don't think most people are as judgmental as you fear. And those that are wouldn't be worth having as friends.
I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. But since you're in school, you might try seeing someone in the counseling center. (It's FREE.) Since your difficulty making friends is a pattern since childhood, you might see if you could talk to someone about building social skills.
To be honest I really don't know what I'm doing wrong nor what have I failed during my early years. I've always tried my best to get along with everyone and the last time I got invited to a party, get along with the conversation and they seemed to enjoy my company at the time. But then when it's over, everyone goes to their separate ways and it's like they don't even care about me anymore.
Other times in my workplace, I had to actually join in a conversation with sit down with the group in order for anyone to talk to me. Once again, they all enjoyed my company and started talking to me but when it's over, that's it.
Now I don't even care anymore. I give up and if anyone doesn't want to go up to me and talk to me, I ain't talking. I think this is the major reason why I accepted my ex bf as a friend (at least 1 person to talk to is better than none). He knows I don't love him but seems to understand me better.
I've never been worried about making friends. I always seem to attract people, and I don't speak too much. I seem to attract people who like talking, and in the situation with my workplace, I attract people who work hard and try to get something done. Hell, every supervisor I've worked for has liked me enough to try to pull me into there rooms permanently.
Outside of work, I've made friends through hobbies and recreational activities. I also donate time to helping kids on Saturdays that I am not working. I meet a lot of people both young and old, and they seem to like me well enough, but when they leave I don't worry about them liking me. For me, so long as I don't say anything vulgar, and I can break the ice and make people laugh, they usually come looking for me when I'm around.
I'm usually a pretty friendly person anyway, so it's hard to not like me, though I have met some people whom I simply can't get along with.
I'm usually a pretty friendly person anyway, so it's hard to not like me, though I have met some people whom I simply can't get along with.
I guess you have special skills for that. It would be good to at least have 1 female friend I can sometimes go out and we keeping in contact. But I guess I'll just continue to focus on finishing my major if this never happens. My mother used to get depressed with this and would say things like ''But why don't you have any friends, are you afraid of talking, etc''. I'm not afraid of talking. I can talk all day long and still make no new friends.
I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. But since you're in school, you might try seeing someone in the counseling center. (It's FREE.) Since your difficulty making friends is a pattern since childhood, you might see if you could talk to someone about building social skills.
Yes, I'll go to a counselor when I get a chance to. I'm interested in hearing what exactly is wrong with me that I've been always having this problem. This is something I've always wanted to improve in.
OP, given how many men complain that so many women are party girls, I would think that someone would be happy to find a woman like yourself. Besides, you're still in school. It's not unusual to be more devoted to studies at this time in your life.
Some people only have one or two close friends, others have dozens of casual friends. Myself, I tend to somehow end up with friends who have professions that cause them to move a lot, so I make friends, but then they move out of town! As a result, I have friends all over the US and abroad, but at the moment, I don't have close friends where I live. I don't think it's a big deal. Really, I don't think most people are as judgmental as you fear. And those that are wouldn't be worth having as friends.
I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. But since you're in school, you might try seeing someone in the counseling center. (It's FREE.) Since your difficulty making friends is a pattern since childhood, you might see if you could talk to someone about building social skills.
I'd agree with this and not so much now but when my SO was younger, it's just something I sort of put up with because the phone ringing off the hook and the knocking at the door gets old after awhile.
Truth is I would actually find it refreshing. Plus I could have you all to myself, and no annoying nosy girl-friends to influence you or say **** about me lol jk.
But seriously, as long as there's not something really wrong with you (like you're a psycho murderer) it's cool lol.
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