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I have to admit that I do not understand why so many people either need the person they are going after to be a challenge or like to play like they are a challenge for someone who is going for them. To me, either someone is really attractive or not, and if I deem them as attractive, I'm going to want them, end of story. I don't need them to be a challenge or mystery in order for them to gain more of my attention. I do understand that this phenomenon works for people but I could never rely on this as the main motivator of my liking someone. I don't understand why people do this.
Sorry for the rant. I'm thinking back on a time when I liked this guy and this other guy told me that I needed to be more of a challenge. I thought to myself "What for? Either he likes me or he doesn't. I don't need him to be a challenge."
This is specially the case in the Bay Area, not sure why. Men that I tried dating always "pretended" they are not really available or not available all the time.
I think I get what you're saying...like not playing games such as "He asked at the last minute so I have to say that I'm busy even though I'm going to stay home alone and eat ice cream while watching Say Yes to the Dress."?? If that is where you're coming from, then I totally agree with you.
On the other hand, there is a fine line between not playing hard to get games and being too available/desperate.
I think I get what you're saying...like not playing games such as "He asked at the last minute so I have to say that I'm busy even though I'm going to stay home alone and eat ice cream while watching Say Yes to the Dress."?? If that is where you're coming from, then I totally agree with you.
On the other hand, there is a fine line between not playing hard to get games and being too available/desperate.
I'm a challenge by nature. That's not the same as game playing which is intentional.
That is correct.
People who are the real deal challenge are a challenge because they're not that into you or naturally aloof. That's not gonna change. Anyone who is pretending is a fake and will be found out and game over, so I don't get why people tell you to fake it like I was told. What the hell is that? If you're looking for a LTR, it's stupid to manufacture attraction, but I could see "fake it 'til you make it" working for short-term or a fling though. Just put on a front and get what you want then bail.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
OP, you're just too down-to-earth and mature for some people. Those are the kind of people you don't need in your life.
I've dropped women who tried playing games with me like a bad habit. They're just not worth the time.
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