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You could (like many have suggested) be depressed. I've suffered from it at different times of my life. It can be awful. I was feeling stressed out/ depressed about two weeks ago. I think we all go through tough patches in our life.
But after reading your posts, it sounds to me like you are trying to hard. It seems like life can be oddly cruel at times. There was a time in my life (right after college) when I moved and I felt very lonely. It was in those times that I tried to hard. It's just like dating. It's as if people can "smell" desperation. In that time, I learned to "make" fun or "have" fun by myself. I started figuring out what "I" liked to do and did it without anyone. When I became content with myself is when people started coming out of the wood-works to befriend me. I don't know why life seems to work like this. There were many times where I would just want to be alone, yet that phone would not stop ringing. It seemed the more I wanted to be left alone, the more people would call me.
I don't know why life works like this, but for me this is how it works. When I was lonely and I couldn't find a friend in the world, it was as if I was pushing myself onto people. Which just made them want to "push me away".
But when I was content with myself, people gravitated towards me. I don't really know why this works like this. This applies to women too. It seems like when I am with someone (which I am and have been) everyone wants to date me. Yet, when I was desperate, there was no one around..
I would look into medicine, but I would also take a step back. Figure out what you like. Learn to make "yourself" happy, then people will come. Before you know it, you will be too busy to handle all the requests.
I wish you well and I hope your situation changes.
Take care.
The thing is though Ive been going everywhere by myself basically the past few years. After a while you start to feel like your missing out on things by having someone with you. Its to the point where im not even sure how I would act if I did have someone that hangout with.
Im single, independent and loving every minute of it. I feel really sad for those that feel incomplete unless they are in a relationship, and thats likely majority of people on this planet. If not for the curse of being attracted to the opposite sex sexualy, I would be single my entire life never giving it another thought.
The thing is though Ive been going everywhere by myself basically the past few years. After a while you start to feel like your missing out on things by having someone with you. Its to the point where im not even sure how I would act if I did have someone that hangout with.
I understand. But once again, maybe you are trying too hard. I put out that vibe years ago, and I felt just like you. I really think, people can "smell" desperation for whatever reason. It sounds like you are doing things alone and you are not content. You seem (I looked at your profile) like a likable enough guy, so I can't see what else would be the issue. I really think you are trying too hard.
I've never lived in the D.C. area. I lived in Virginia beach once and have been to D.C. and I can tell you it "could" be the area. I was around Arlington and Manassess years back when my gf at the time blew up her car. We were stranded in that area. I remember feeling very lonely there. I am white and I remember saying hello to a black guy and he just gave me an odd look. I remember feeling really segregated while we were waiting for her car to be fixed. I do remember having a feeling of "isolation" and "segregation" that I have never before experienced. That is a strong feeling that I never forgot. I hate to make generalizations like that, but that is how we felt. Virginia beach was a little different, but that part of Virginia/D.C. can be very lonely. Maybe it is the place. Perhaps it's a tough place for transplants to live.
I really don't know what to tell you. I hope whatever it is, it gets better for you.
Im single, independent and loving every minute of it. I feel really sad for those that feel incomplete unless they are in a relationship, and thats likely majority of people on this planet. If not for the curse of being attracted to the opposite sex sexualy, I would be single my entire life never giving it another thought.
Its not that I feel I need to be in a relationship, It's just having no one besides maybe family to talk to thats making me feel lonely. Are you a male or female by any chance?
Hey dude
I know how it is like to feel lonely because I feel it too.
Given the little background about me. My "advice" may not be too creditable but here is one thing I have heard in my pursuit of happiness: I try too hard to get people to like me.
I have no freaking clue what that means but I am almost always very mindful of it now.
I outgrew most of my friends (the ones that didnt move away) after graduating college (they all still want to sit around and smoke week and I hate drugs) and my closest friend died a year ago. I mostly hang with an older crowd now, we usually go to a convenience store to sling the bull. When inside I usually see guys my age (I am 25) with a girl on their arm coming and going; am I jealous, not really but I'd be lying if I told you that I haven't had those feelings before.
Find a hobby, one that all you need is yourself to do. For example when I get the funds together I am going to convert a cargo van into a camper van so when I feel like it, I can leave town for a couple days and observe nature. Or get into photography or videography. Or learn different programming codes.
Question, lets say you were single, and you were at a meetup talking to people. Then you get into a convo with a guy that seems interesting. Then after 10 minutes or so you ask how old he is and then he says he's 23 or 24 years old? How do you continue to approach the situation?,and please be honest
To be honest, I'm single and 32, so I'm not interested in dating a 23 or 24-year-old guy, even if the conversation is good. No offense, but I don't think we'd have enough in common for a long-term relationship. That's just me, though. I have female friends who are that age, but I'm not looking to start a future with any of them. I think you should date somewhere closer to your age and not my age. When I was 23 or 24, I had a hard time meeting guys I had much in common with. Maybe that's why I wound up with an older guy at 25! I've always been an old soul, so that's why I say I wouldn't date younger. I'm not sure why you're not reaching out to people your age in the meetup groups.
Quote:
Im single, independent and loving every minute of it. I feel really sad for those that feel incomplete unless they are in a relationship, and thats likely majority of people on this planet. If not for the curse of being attracted to the opposite sex sexualy, I would be single my entire life never giving it another thought.
You're missing the point of what the OP is saying: the pervasive loneliness is what's eating him up. Being single is one thing, but not having friends and being single is something entirely different. I've lived through that and it's awful.
One can still be single and lonely, even with friends. I'm 32, single (have been for 4 years), very independent and enjoy my alone time, but too much of it can be a bad thing too. Especially since nearly all of my local female friends are engaged, in a LTR or married. They usually don't have much time to hang with their single friends, and being the third wheel gets very, very old.
You could (like many have suggested) be depressed. I've suffered from it at different times of my life. It can be awful. I was feeling stressed out/ depressed about two weeks ago. I think we all go through tough patches in our life.
But after reading your posts, it sounds to me like you are trying to hard. It seems like life can be oddly cruel at times. There was a time in my life (right after college) when I moved and I felt very lonely. It was in those times that I tried to hard. It's just like dating. It's as if people can "smell" desperation. In that time, I learned to "make" fun or "have" fun by myself. I started figuring out what "I" liked to do and did it without anyone. When I became content with myself is when people started coming out of the wood-works to befriend me. I don't know why life seems to work like this. There were many times where I would just want to be alone, yet that phone would not stop ringing. It seemed the more I wanted to be left alone, the more people would call me.
I don't know why life works like this, but for me this is how it works. When I was lonely and I couldn't find a friend in the world, it was as if I was pushing myself onto people. Which just made them want to "push me away".
But when I was content with myself, people gravitated towards me. I don't really know why this works like this. This applies to women too. It seems like when I am with someone (which I am and have been) everyone wants to date me. Yet, when I was desperate, there was no one around..
I would look into medicine, but I would also take a step back. Figure out what you like. Learn to make "yourself" happy, then people will come. Before you know it, you will be too busy to handle all the requests.
I wish you well and I hope your situation changes.
Take care.
I can't cosign enough all that supermanpansy wrote. All I can do is give it a rep
OP, listen to this advice. It is true. People can sense desperation and it pushes them away. You have to find a way to make yourself happy or content, by yourself.
You know the book I referred to you earlier i.e Intimate Connections. The first step the writer recommends in getting close to others is "Learning to Like and Love Yourself". He makes a good case in that chapter about the importance of doing things alone and appreciating yourself. I can't do the book enough justice. Here is one of the quotes I outlined
The belief that you need a loving partner before you can feel happy and secure is one of the major causes of loneliness. This attitude will make you feel inadequate and will actually drive people away. That special person you are searching for is looking for someone to excite him or her ... not a needy person who can't make it alone. Learning to like and love yourself is the key to intimacy (Page 29)
@rakin, so your advice on the matter.....is to lie.....you sure about that?
Nlsanders; please do NOT lie about anything. First of all, why START OFF with a lie? Seriously, I get the feeling you know in your heart that is not the way to go. Any piece of scum can lie to a woman(or man). And any woman worth her salt is not going to like the fact that you lied.
When have you seen someone come on here deliriously happy about the fact that they found out they were lied to? Usually they are unhappy about that, whether its a long time relationship or a first date. Dont go there. Let a woman get to know the real you...a handsome, 24 year old young man. People have the right to say what age range they want to date. I am currently single now after my breakup last year with my ex, and sometimes I too feel like there is just no one out there. But..one thing I have learned is always be yourself, and present yourself truthfully. That is the best way. People either accept what you are, or they can keep it moving.
To be honest, I'm single and 32, so I'm not interested in dating a 23 or 24-year-old guy, even if the conversation is good. No offense, but I don't think we'd have enough in common for a long-term relationship. That's just me, though. I have female friends who are that age, but I'm not looking to start a future with any of them. I think you should date somewhere closer to your age and not my age. When I was 23 or 24, I had a hard time meeting guys I had much in common with. Maybe that's why I wound up with an older guy at 25! I've always been an old soul, so that's why I say I wouldn't date younger. I'm not sure why you're not reaching out to people your age in the meetup groups.
You're missing the point of what the OP is saying: the pervasive loneliness is what's eating him up. Being single is one thing, but not having friends and being single is something entirely different. I've lived through that and it's awful.
One can still be single and lonely, even with friends. I'm 32, single (have been for 4 years), very independent and enjoy my alone time, but too much of it can be a bad thing too. Especially since nearly all of my local female friends are engaged, in a LTR or married. They usually don't have much time to hang with their single friends, and being the third wheel gets very, very old.
As far as dating goes unfortunately most of the people in this area seem to be in your age bracket and the bolded is exactly how they feel. They feel as if Im some immature kid who is just looking to screw everything in sight and am not serious. I would love nothing more than to find ppl my age. Unfortunately when I do "meet" someone, we exchange numbers and either ill contact them a day or 2 later and they never bother responding, or they respond a few times and then stop. Ultimately, woman my age are too busy building up there phone books to take anything seriously, and standards are kinds ridiculous.
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I think you should date somewhere closer to your age and not my age. When I was 23 or 24, I had a hard time meeting guys I had much in common with. Maybe that's why I wound up with an older guy at 25! I've always been an old soul, so that's why I say I wouldn't date younger. I'm not sure why you're not reaching out to people your age in the meetup groups. 
