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Has a guy standing up there basically complaining about all the flaws with the traditional profile-based dating sites. He explains how he doesn't like reading endless profiles and sending an email to a woman that you know is getting a hundred other emails that day.
I've never tried eharmony, has anyone else tried it and found success? I like getting to know someone a little more before actually meeting them and wasting time on a drink or date with them. I understand you can't develop chemistry with someone until you meet face to face, but I also have dated enough to know what I'm looking for and would rather get to know someone a little before meeting them as well. Does eharmony work for this approach? What makes the eharmony process different from other sites?
I've tried e-harmony 3 times (in each state I moved to) to meet people once I settled in. I never met anyone through the program. Each time I answered the questions, I received a different profile, which startled me at first but made sense after a while when I realized I was 'gaming' the system (like answering how I thought my date would want me to answer) One profile had me as being susceptible to influence, easily intimidated and reserve, the other head strong, outgoing and 'life of the party'.
Anyway I started to get the impression nobody was responding because there were no matches, when suddenly, very soon near my expiration time, I started getting responses. I fell for it the first two time and extended the subscription, but not the third. That was 3 years ago.
Don't expect to get an exact match, that should be obvious, but let them know about deal breakers, like NO to drugs and STD for instance, otherwise they will appear in the matches. They do provide weekly matches, but many for me were less than 60% matches, or lived more than an hour's travel.
It is very expensive and I am having better luck meeting people through other people who I meet by chance or through work or just out of the blue.
I've tried e-harmony 3 times (in each state I moved to) to meet people once I settled in. I never met anyone through the program. Each time I answered the questions, I received a different profile, which startled me at first but made sense after a while when I realized I was 'gaming' the system (like answering how I thought my date would want me to answer) One profile had me as being susceptible to influence, easily intimidated and reserve, the other head strong, outgoing and 'life of the party'.
Anyway I started to get the impression nobody was responding because there were no matches, when suddenly, very soon near my expiration time, I started getting responses. I fell for it the first two time and extended the subscription, but not the third. That was 3 years ago.
Don't expect to get an exact match, that should be obvious, but let them know about deal breakers, like NO to drugs and STD for instance, otherwise they will appear in the matches. They do provide weekly matches, but many for me were less than 60% matches, or lived more than an hour's travel.
It is very expensive and I am having better luck meeting people through other people who I meet by chance or through work or just out of the blue.
Thanks for the response! I haven't had much luck meeting people through people at all and I work for a small company that is 99% dudes. Anyway, I live in a big city, so I can't see the "numbers" being a problem for me or being too far away.
Is there a way to make the settings not to match you with someone who is too far away? I would have to date someone in the city. Given there's over 3.5 million people here, I'd hope that's a large enough same size, lol
i've tried eharmony many times... it can work but generally speaking online dating is not very successful mainly due to the short attention span of people. Each person is bombarded with matches and the mentality is always that perhaps there will be a slightly more compatible and better match. This is in contrast to real life where you usually focus on one person at a time.
i've tried eharmony many times... it can work but generally speaking online dating is not very successful mainly due to the short attention span of people. Each person is bombarded with matches and the mentality is always that perhaps there will be a slightly more compatible and better match. This is in contrast to real life where you usually focus on one person at a time.
Not where I live. In a big city you meet someone new every time you leave your house so this is not the case.
I just don't want to have to spend hours reading profiles and sending emails just to be considered and cross my fingers that my email gets noticed.
If eharmony forces you to focus on someone for a period of time before you meet then I could see that as a beneficial screening process.
Did you feel like you had to put in a lot of work on eharmony?
I tried it once for about 6 months (if I recall correctly). Because it tries to 'connect' people by region, and since I live in California which is long from north-to-south, I was being connected with people about 200 miles away or more sometimes. Frustrating because I'd think, "Finally!" only to realize the distance and then be bummed.
I quit it. I've met more people on my own than through that service.
[it may have changed since I tried it 2006, so your experience may vary]
Yes, it is a 5 stage communication process just to be able to talk to them. Then a few emails, then meetup. It is a very time consuming process.
Do you have to read profiles first? What is the first stage like? How do you choose someone to go through the 5 stage process or does it choose for you?
Is it a lengthy process in terms of time between first communication to meet up? That I can handle, I like patience in the process.
I'm more concerned with having to spend an hour or so a night to read profiles and email women only to have no responses in a week. That's no fun for anyone.
i wouldn't waste my time on it anymore. a significant number of the matches you get are of people that have not paid into it, meaning if you send them a message, they'll not be able to respond to you unless they pay.
I couldn't tell you about eharmony, they "rejected" me after I answered all their questions a few years back.
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