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Because between getting sex and paying a date for a woman that has little interest in you, I'll take the sex.
And some women are going to choose getting out of the house over having sex with a man who has little interest in them.
All this has little to do with the OP, because it's about whether she should offer to pay for her food, and it's moot anyway because she already went on the date. It doesn't sound like she'll be seeing him again.
Because between getting sex and paying a date for a woman that has little interest in you, I'll take the sex.
That is why I advocate no dinner or lunch dates within the first 2 or 3 dates. It's pretty obvious that some women will go on a date with a man bc they want attention, want to get out of the house or as one female poster stated in the 'People who put a lot of effort into getting a lot of dates' thread, to have a social life. Why come out of pocket for someone that is just using you for any of those reasons I listed?
who pays if both the guy and girl meet off a dating service and both agreed to meet at a certain spot?
I've concluded that in these scenarios, Dutch is best. Likewise with blind dates. Those are the kind of thing where people should just meet for coffee or a quick snack to see if there's mutual interest. I don't think you can have real attraction for someone until you actually meet him or her.
A man telling a woman smoothly, "I'd like to take you out sometime" is different. That's an invitation. A blind date is a pre-invitation. It's like being pre-approved for a loan: it doesn't really mean anything.
I've concluded that in these scenarios, Dutch is best. Likewise with blind dates. Those are the kind of thing where people should just meet for coffee or a quick snack to see if there's mutual interest. I don't think you can have real attraction for someone until you actually meet him or her.
I don't think going dutch sets a good tone for the first meeting. Yes, I've done it before and I've gone out on subsequent dates with these guys, but I don't think it was a good way to start off. I'm not really talking about coffee dates because I usually get there first and buy my own drink, but I'm thinking more along the lines of when there's a joint bill. It's awkward to try to determine who owes what.
If you're interested in seeing the woman again, just PAY for the first date/meeting unless she insists on paying for herself. You really shouldn't be doing anything too expensive for the first date/meeting anyways, so it shouldn't be a big deal. I don't think most women will mind if you pay and if they really do mind, they'll let you know.
Another thing with younger men is that they've grown up in a different era where women are supposed to be treated equally, and I think older men don't necessarily feel that way, so more of them may have the mindset that the man "should" pay.
Hey now. I am 44, so definitely fall into your category of 'older men'. But I also grew up in an era where women are supposed to be treated equally.
Men and women are equal. But we also have customs and standards in society, and one of them is that the guy pays. At least for the first date.
I guess that I could be cynical and say that us older guys have figured out that we are more likely to get sex if we pay for the first date.
I don't think going dutch sets a good tone for the first meeting. Yes, I've done it before and I've gone out on subsequent dates with these guys, but I don't think it was a good way to start off. I'm not really talking about coffee dates because I usually get there first and buy my own drink, but I'm thinking more along the lines of when there's a joint bill. It's awkward to try to determine who owes what.
If you're interested in seeing the woman again, just PAY for the first date/meeting unless she insists on paying for herself. You really shouldn't be doing anything too expensive for the first date/meeting anyways, so it shouldn't be a big deal. I don't think most women will mind if you pay and if they really do mind, they'll let you know.
I think that the man should pay on the first date, maybe after a couple they should split it or maybe have her buy.
It just depends. I guess I'm old school, but I would never ever let a woman pay on the first date.
who pays if both the guy and girl meet off a dating service and both agreed to meet at a certain spot?
The man takes out his wallet to pay.
The woman offers to pay.
The man refuses the offer, and pays.
But the spot should also not be a very expensive one, and dinner is probably not assumed. Meeting for drinks is good, with the option to continue on with dinner. Control the meeting place and you can control the financial liability (since we all know you are on a tight budget)
But the spot should also not be a very expensive one, and dinner is probably not assumed. Meeting for drinks is good, with the option to continue on with dinner. Control the meeting place and you can control the financial liability (since we all know you are on a tight budget)
That's exactly what happened on my last 1st date, we met for ice cream lol
That's exactly what happened on my last 1st date, we met for ice cream lol
Perfect. Even the most expensive ice cream option is only going to be $5-6, and most women are not going to order the large sundae with extra toppings/mixings anyway.
You get to meet, talk, decide if you want to do anything more. If you really hit it off, invite her to dinner to extend the date. And pay for it. See where the evening goes.
2nd date, definitely offer to pay. But if she does offer to pick up the tab, it is ok to take her up on it.
After that, feel it out. Pick up some, allow her to pick up others, split a few. It depends on who makes more money, stuff like that. There really is no right answer.
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