Girls, what do you do when a guy makes you feel less worthy of a person than other girls? (women, personality)
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Simple answer to the title is send him bye bye. However, what I read in the description is quite unclear. Is he commenting first or are you? If it's you, time for some soul-searching. Why are you putting others down? That never elevates the person doing the putting down, only takes them lower. And even if you are doing it defensively after he comments, time for some introspection to see why you feel insecure. Note, I didn't say he made you feel that way, only you control how you feel about yourself. No. one. else.
If a guy is being insensitive, inappropriate and uncaring when you object, you dump him.
If, on the other hand, you are being oversensitive, insecure and territorial, you work on your issues before getting involved with anyone else ... because being a jealous and needy girlfriend is a prime way to get yourself dumped.
If you are young, it might be difficult to tell the difference. I can't, from your story.
I admit I may have been oversensitive to most of these incidences. But I'm not territorial. I'm not the jealous type.. insecure, a little, yes...
And he was insensitive and innapropriate when it came to the incident that made me ask this question.
It's not the first time I felt insecure by him. That he made me feel that another woman is better than me when he hardly knows him hisself. He told me after he would like to get to know them but he's with me. He's just a guy who likes to look.
Just this time, He almost killed us when he's the one driving and I don't have a liscence and it's not my vehicle. He was looking at girls' butts that were biking in this incident, different than others, but emotionally about the same. Makes me feel bad.
He was approaching the intersection and looking at the mirror at the girls we past by. I thought they were ugly at least the first one, I didn't see the other. They were even underaged too.. he has a mental problem with that and he says he's trying to control it. They were like 13 or 15 years old. They were biking in the street and the bike was swirving in many directions. I told him, "hey, don't look at them, watch the road" exactly. I only thought in my mind the first girl I seen was chubby and on the ugly side.
I told him a while a drive after, that it hurt me. He said yeah right.. I said they remind me of kids before who were mean to me and called me ugly. But I now recall I didn't see the second girl, the one he was looking at. But it's insensitive and inappropriate.
I used to have a problem with cars and a guy not related to me in the car while on the road, but it's long past fixed. I am being appropriate.. and he even admited we almost hit a car ahead of us if it weren't for me complaining about him looking. Is that not insensitive?
I didn't see the car but I knew we were heading to a 4-way intersection and he was looking back at the girls we both seen and I felt ticked he was watching them but I tried my best to control myself and tell him watch the road.. I forgot if there was a car there.. I thought it was a truck... I was thinking the girls on the bike were gonna get ran over, flat like a pancake. I said the pancake thing before me saying to him finally way after that I think they were ugly and he defends them... over me.. like I don't matter.. my opinions never matter to him. I feel like nothing by everybody.
But I did save my life and his. If I wasn't there, he'd kill himself looking at 13 year old girls butts! And I'm the wrong person??? I'm always wrong is what everybody else says to me.. it's all I ever hear. I try my best to love him, do his laundry, do his dishes and my laundry and dishes.. clean our place take care of our place, help him.. all I get is the worst anybody can offer.
(EDIT: We were past the girls, I was thinking the way they bike they deserve it and because he was looking at them they would deserve to be pancakes. I am bi-curious, i find some girls hot (half guys around me dont think so and half they would probably, just the one girl I seen was not, she reminded me of a mean neighborhood bully in my child years and it made me feel bad I'm with a guy who likes that.. I told him her and I are on totally different categories on life)
He never did look at real girls underage when I was around. he told me he's getting better... If he wasn't with me.. it'd be worse.. he'd get with a girl and not tell her or she will be too stupid to care what he does with or looking at girls causing an accident. Maybe he does all the time at Walmart when he goes to the car section and doesn't invite me and we chat about it like "oh, I'm not invited" I say to him.. he says i go and he acts normal, but I don't know what he does when I'm not around. I try my best not to be territorial. I don't want to be territorial. I want him to have his space.
Like I said, he really loves me and we get along ever other time. But yeah, I am thinking about finding another guy, if we can't work this out. I have options... they know I feel happy where I'm at though. I want to stay with who I'm with.
I just had to tell the story because you all asked for it.
But it's just one time that is different than all the ones before it. But the bottom line is that he makes me feel like 3 times a month that I am less worthy than any other girl.
Simple answer to the title is send him bye bye. However, what I read in the description is quite unclear. Is he commenting first or are you? If it's you, time for some soul-searching. Why are you putting others down? That never elevates the person doing the putting down, only takes them lower. And even if you are doing it defensively after he comments, time for some introspection to see why you feel insecure. Note, I didn't say he made you feel that way, only you control how you feel about yourself. No. one. else.
Nobody really commented first... It was body language. His eyes were on pedestrian females, underage even. School age, we were near a school neighborhood, driving by, we don't live there.
I said exactly what I just typed "Hey, don't look at them, watch the road!" It saved the truck from being hit by entering the 4-way intersection right when I said that. I regret I sounded like a b**** doing so, but It's natural to feel a wave of jealousy, right? and I really wanted him to watch the road. Why can't it be both?
Are you picking on these girls before or after he acts like they are better than you?
Nobody likes a person that is insecure. If you are pointing out all the flaws of these so called "better" girls before he comments, well then I can see where he's coming from
If he's pointing out their assets first however, dump him. Why would you want to be with a man like that?
Neither of us verbally commented on them. He made a mental note in his mind and physically watched the butt/s of the (two girls on one bike?) I was watching the road then looked at him, I guess there was a car, even he admited there was.
I made a mental note but I just told him "hey, dont look at them, watch the road" I think there was a truck turning on the other side of us.. I didn't see a car.. we were heading to a four-way intersection. I believe his foot was on the gas and just I seen his eyes were not even on the road ahead. I did not talk to him saying I think they are ugly till way later when I was aiming to discuss it. He said he didn't believe it hurt me, but I told him why because I thought the front girl was ugly, I didn't even see the back girl and he did.. but the point is, it's wrong because they were like school girls in a school area where we dont live.
There is other times too that he makes me feel the same way with other girls.
How can he assume they are perfect?
How can he try to explain to me that I am worse than them by saying I'm no better than them?
How can he defend somebody he don't know?
Why can't I tell him how I truly feel?
How else is a couple supposed to communicate with each other to work things out to make the relationship work between the two?
I'd give him a taste of his own medicine by dumping his arse.
I understand, I should work on dumping him for that...
but no one really likes me once I even open up, see?
I might as well hire a cop to kill me so it's not even suicide.
My life does not go well...
but with him it's been the best it can get many days.
I am a problem to another guy for now.. I have no money of my own and I have no health care. So I'm working on my life, is my only option. I know shelters are full and awlful, crowded...
I got a future with this guy.
I feel stupid to open up anywhere online. that's why I just joined here and asked... I wanted a safe place to ask.. what do other girls do, does it happen to others and what do they do.
Somebody said it has happened to them. And what they did. I apprechiate that.
I have plants and yard birds I take care of at my home with him.
I love him. And we get along a lot of the time..
No relationship is perfect.
I was just seeking advice like the rest of the world is allowed to do.
But I will work on my life. I want to have my own money someday and I may get my own place but I never lived by myself before, but I want to. I want to pay my own bills and live a normal life.
I understand, I should work on dumping him for that...
but no one really likes me once I even open up, see?
I might as well hire a cop to kill me so it's not even suicide.
My life does not go well...
but with him it's been the best it can get many days.
I am a problem to another guy for now.. I have no money of my own and I have no health care. So I'm working on my life, is my only option. I know shelters are full and awlful, crowded...
I got a future with this guy.
I feel stupid to open up anywhere online. that's why I just joined here and asked... I wanted a safe place to ask.. what do other girls do, does it happen to others and what do they do.
Somebody said it has happened to them. And what they did. I apprechiate that.
I have plants and yard birds I take care of at my home with him.
I love him. And we get along a lot of the time..
No relationship is perfect.
I was just seeking advice like the rest of the world is allowed to do.
But I will work on my life. I want to have my own money someday and I may get my own place but I never lived by myself before, but I want to. I want to pay my own bills and live a normal life.
Haven't read the whole thread. But where is your family?
Have you ever been treated like that? what did you do? what do you suggest a different girl under the same treatment should do?
I mean he can like see a girl for 5 minutes and assume she's more worth everything to him than I. He acts like she's so perfect and she's so better than me. I have no right to put them down when I'm just stating simple facts in the way they act is not right. He defends them like they mean more to him than I do to him. He doesn't seem to care. I told him it hurt me when he's like that and he acts like I'm worrying over something stupid. We get along every other day, these days happen like once every two weeks or longer...
I try to discuss it with him later and he says I'm worried over "old history"
Sometimes, things like that could be a misunderstanding. One person says something,the other thinks it's something else. Clarify first. Tell him exactly how you feel and make sure that he really doesn't care. If he said that you are worrying about something stupid, perhaps he didn't really understand what your problem was. Sit down and tell him that things will change between you to unless he can prove to you that he cares. Maybe then he'll understand how serious it is and explain what he means.
The only one unworthy is this relationship is HIM. No can put you down unless you permit it, and do not permit it-EVER.
I would rid myself of this would-be pedophile immediately if not sooner. You'll feel a lot better in the long run as you won't have that gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach.
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