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Just to be clear, I had no idea how to accurately title this thread, so read this before you think I'm nuts.
I know that if someone is gay, they prefer to get involved with the same sex, bisexual would be either/or to whatever extent. I can't speak for guys, because most of the friends I've been closer to have been girls in general, and I've had quite a few female friends that consider themselves gay.
The thing is that sometimes they'll tell me they are willing to sleep with men or find specific men attractive. I know this technically makes them bisexual, but I've never heard any of these people identify themselves with anything less than gay. I've actally never really heard anyone claim to be bisexual either. I've never asked any of these people point blank about these scenarios, so I wanted to see if any females (or males) want to weigh in on this whole thing.
I'm a straight male, but always find myself seperated (happily) from what most people around me see as traditional male and female activities and interests.
For example, I am always super concerned about appearance, prefer to wear darker and tighter clothing, hardly identify with most other males I've met, I have no interest in sports or other "guyish" things, and generally feel intimidated by large groups of males. On the other hand, I have always felt more comfortable around girls who act more "gender neutral" and have less ordinairy interests. I also catch myself being super attracted to these types more often. Think like, short hair, active in social issues, low key people, etc. A lot of the time the said persons turn out to be gay, and it's weird how attracted and completely invested I get to them. There's been a few times in my life where I truly have gotten the feeling like they are at least a little bit intrested in me, and it really turns me on but it's never actually materialised sexually at this point.
I don't know. It's like if I listen to other people talk about themselves and the people they're attracted to, I feel so alienated by comparison. I do not know any males that seem to relate in this capacity.
I don't know what my main question is for you either, CD. Just any comments, thoughts, guidance, opinions...?
To each their own. You seem more like a 'metrosexual' than gay. You aren't attracted to guys, just women, so don't worry about it. Just be happy with yourself.
I honestly have no idea what you are, and most people on CD will probably be stabbing in the dark to find out what you are as well. From what I read, I still think you are a straight guy, who is perhaps gender neutral so to speak. Does that mean you are possibly gay? No, not necessarily. Do you feel any attraction to men as well? If not, then what I said then is probably it. Gender is a crazy little thing. People normally expect if you are male, you should fit all the roles of a male. Likewise the same for female. In reality, that never happens.
The thing is that sometimes they'll tell me they are willing to sleep with men or find specific men attractive. I know this technically makes them bisexual, but I've never heard any of these people identify themselves with anything less than gay. I've actally never really heard anyone claim to be bisexual either. I've never asked any of these people point blank about these scenarios, so I wanted to see if any females (or males) want to weigh in on this whole thing.
I id as gay and was in a 22-23 year "gay marriage" type of relationship, and did some tricking before that.
Yet I sort of can relate since I notice I find women, certain kinds, attractive and wonder about dating or whatever with them. Not as a "gal pal" thing but more a romantic thing.
So yeah, can sort of see that. Technically a bi-sexual thing, but Im not really bi.
On the other hand, I have always felt more comfortable around girls who act more "gender neutral" and have less ordinairy interests. I also catch myself being super attracted to these types more often. Think like, short hair, active in social issues, low key people, etc.
LOL..do they like folk and folk.rock music too? Yeah, I can relate....
Not that weird. One of my best friends used to be the same way as far as being more comfortable around women and often attracted to gay women who were just bisexual enough to give him hope.
Although he also shunned certain 'manly' things like sports, he was not metrosexual, he actually dressed like a lesbian which means he dressed like a guy... with Birkenstocks. He was also a gun enthusiast and amateur medievalist. Complex guy. He is now happily married to a perfectly straight woman for what it's worth.
I think we put too much stock in these labels, societal expectations and generalities.
There is room in this world for a vast variety of human beings, within the realm of consentual behavior it should not matter. I have known drag queens who still only wanted to be with women, I have known women who loved drag queens...is there anything more atypical to the hardcore masculine role than sometimes or always dressing and mimicking a female? You don't have to be a manly man out for girly girls to be a valid person, just be who you are and enjoy what you enjoy. Don't push too hard in your search for a mate and one day the right mate will come into your life. The best ones show up when you're not looking.
I personally dislike the "bi" label because when I was a teenager it was the girls who were digging on chicks in order to get the attention of guys. It was in fact kind of a trendy thing to do. "Look how hot I am, making out with a girl" sort of thing. I found it somewhat lacking. I love people for who they are and I can be attracted to males or females if their character and appearance and other factors fall into place. But I'm faithfully married and don't mess around outside of that...which makes me functionally straight. Labels are silly. Just be yourself.
I think we put too much stock in these labels, societal expectations and generalities.
There is room in this world for a vast variety of human beings, within the realm of consentual behavior it should not matter. I have known drag queens who still only wanted to be with women, I have known women who loved drag queens...is there anything more atypical to the hardcore masculine role than sometimes or always dressing and mimicking a female? You don't have to be a manly man out for girly girls to be a valid person, just be who you are and enjoy what you enjoy. Don't push too hard in your search for a mate and one day the right mate will come into your life. The best ones show up when you're not looking.
I personally dislike the "bi" label because when I was a teenager it was the girls who were digging on chicks in order to get the attention of guys. It was in fact kind of a trendy thing to do. "Look how hot I am, making out with a girl" sort of thing. I found it somewhat lacking. I love people for who they are and I can be attracted to males or females if their character and appearance and other factors fall into place. But I'm faithfully married and don't mess around outside of that...which makes me functionally straight. Labels are silly. Just be yourself.
Great post. I really dislike labels, why bother?
I'm dating a man (I'm a woman) but I often have found the opposite sex physically and emotionally attractive.
I've dated men who sound quite similar to you as well. I'm also a "gender neutral" kind of gal who doesn't have very ordinary interests. I'm pretty feminine I guess, in that I enjoy looking pretty, but that's basically it. I enjoy sports but I don't follow a team, I usually hate shopping, and my favorite activity with my boyfriend is eating at a buffet. Most of my close friends are men. So if you're dead set on dating a lady, we're out there and not all of us are gay.
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