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...for about 5 weeks now. See her 2-3 times a week. I am VERY into this girl. She is a bit more aloof than I, but she is very affectionate with me and says how much she likes to spend time with me. She has also hinted about making the relationship "official", but only hinted. She on the other hand mentioned that she wants to take things slow. Regardless, all of that is fine by me.
What disturbs me is that she NEVER (except on one single occasion) asks me if I am interested in meeting up. When I ask, she almost always says "yes", but she NEVER initiates.
I began holding out since last Sunday to see if she'd step up to the plate. So far she hasn't. Part of me wonders whether she either a) in reality isn't all that interested or b) has something against asking a guy she is dating to meet up.
My question is whether I should just continue holding out and see what happens or whether I should just go back to being the initiator and not over-analyze it. A woman's feedback would be helpful. On one hand I don't want to ruin the positive momentum but I also don't want to bore her being overanxious and a push-over if she doesn't care as much as I. Sometimes aloofness is good.
I know its very difficult for anyone here to speculate not knowing her, but maybe someone here has been in a similar situation or has some useful advice.
How does she act when she's with you? Are you sure she considers these things dates? (Like do you kiss goodnight and is she enthusiastic?)
If things are going well otherwise, I would just ask her out again and not worry about it. Maybe she's just traditional and likes the guy to ask the girl.
How does she act when she's with you? Are you sure she considers these things dates? (Like do you kiss goodnight and is she enthusiastic?)
If things are going well otherwise, I would just ask her out again and not worry about it. Maybe she's just traditional and likes the guy to ask the girl.
Yes, she absolutely does. She is very passionate.
Yeah she may just be traditional. She has no problem with me opening doors and paying for her, which I like as well!
Maybe I'll just ask her at some point why she never initiates?!
My only real concern is boring her being overly enthusiastic and overly available, as in the past I've never lost a girl due to being a little aloof. I guess this one just needs to be pursued a bit more.
I definately wouldn't ask her why she doesn't "innitiate"...you like doing that... and she likes it....what's to ask????Just keep on asking her out,....don't "hold out"...don't pressure her about the way she is...what do you want??for her to explain that yeh, she does like the man to take the lead in courtship??........Quit trying to read between the lines...believe in yourself....she maybe likes a srong assertive confident man....YOU arrange the meetings, and YOU ask her out!!!
It's called being a lady and that is what I'm trying to instill in my own daughter. My daughter is just entering high school and I am noticing that boys (granted, not men) do not know how to ask a girl out. They don't have to meet the parents or even call the house. Everything is done by text and cell phone. I'd say she's testing you to see what you're made of and to see if you are a man or a male.
Do what you feel like doing. What will make you happy? What do YOU want from this?
If you want to be with her, I say go for it. If she wants to be with you then she'll be glad you made a move. Otherwise if she's playing games and doesn't really have interest then you'll find out now and you won't have to waste your time any further if you don't want to. You also can prevent yourself from giving in too much emotional investment if she's just enjoying hanging out and isn't serious.
It's a win/win for you man. Do what you want to do.
My only real concern is boring her being overly enthusiastic and overly available, as in the past I've never lost a girl due to being a little aloof. I guess this one just needs to be pursued a bit more.
Can you explain what you mean by her being "aloof"? That can mean a lot of different things. Is she distant? Does she not act like she likes you? Does she check her watch every 5 minutes when you're together? Or is it merely that you call and ask for the dates, rather than her?
If she's more traditional, she may have been raised to understand that a man asks a woman for the dates, especially in the early stages of courtship.
While we're on the subject, can you explain what you mean by you being "overly enthusiastic and overly available"?
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and to see if you are a man or a male.
