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...for about 5 weeks now. See her 2-3 times a week. I am VERY into this girl. She is a bit more aloof than I, but she is very affectionate with me and says how much she likes to spend time with me. She has also hinted about making the relationship "official", but only hinted. She on the other hand mentioned that she wants to take things slow. Regardless, all of that is fine by me.
What disturbs me is that she NEVER (except on one single occasion) asks me if I am interested in meeting up. When I ask, she almost always says "yes", but she NEVER initiates.
I began holding out since last Sunday to see if she'd step up to the plate. So far she hasn't. Part of me wonders whether she either a) in reality isn't all that interested or b) has something against asking a guy she is dating to meet up.
My question is whether I should just continue holding out and see what happens or whether I should just go back to being the initiator and not over-analyze it. A woman's feedback would be helpful. On one hand I don't want to ruin the positive momentum but I also don't want to bore her being overanxious and a push-over if she doesn't care as much as I. Sometimes aloofness is good.
I know its very difficult for anyone here to speculate not knowing her, but maybe someone here has been in a similar situation or has some useful advice.
you are DEFINITELY overanalyzing it. go for what you know ...
i agree with the others. 5 weeks is still pretty new. keep asking her out. if she is hinting for you to be official and is affectionate, that IS some pretty good initiation.
I would step back and make myself less available. She sounds like she's testing the waters and you're going full steam ahead. Gladly paying and opening doors=doormat and too old fashioned. Reward her when she behaves herself and does stuff for you, not automatically.
...for about 5 weeks now. See her 2-3 times a week. I am VERY into this girl. She is a bit more aloof than I, but she is very affectionate with me and says how much she likes to spend time with me. She has also hinted about making the relationship "official", but only hinted. She on the other hand mentioned that she wants to take things slow. Regardless, all of that is fine by me.
What disturbs me is that she NEVER (except on one single occasion) asks me if I am interested in meeting up. When I ask, she almost always says "yes", but she NEVER initiates.
I began holding out since last Sunday to see if she'd step up to the plate. So far she hasn't. Part of me wonders whether she either a) in reality isn't all that interested or b) has something against asking a guy she is dating to meet up.
My question is whether I should just continue holding out and see what happens or whether I should just go back to being the initiator and not over-analyze it. A woman's feedback would be helpful. On one hand I don't want to ruin the positive momentum but I also don't want to bore her being overanxious and a push-over if she doesn't care as much as I. Sometimes aloofness is good.
I know its very difficult for anyone here to speculate not knowing her, but maybe someone here has been in a similar situation or has some useful advice.
Although the art of dating has changed dramatically from what was the norm traditionally...women still want to be pursued. Most women...regardless of how successful, professional, or independent, like to be given that old fashion sense of being courted first...it's a woman thing.
Be a gentleman...don't hold out and be less analytical.
I would step back and make myself less available. She sounds like she's testing the waters and you're going full steam ahead. Gladly paying and opening doors=doormat and too old fashioned. Reward her when she behaves herself and does stuff for you, not automatically.
What?! Wow. Please don't take this advice. Most women appreciate these acts of chivalry, especially now when they seem almost non-existant.
Gladly paying and opening doors=doormat and too old fashioned. Reward her when she behaves herself and does stuff for you, not automatically.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilamx
What?! Wow. Please don't take this advice. Most women appreciate these acts of chivalry, especially now when they seem almost non-existant.
I'm speaking from experience. I always paid and held open car/building doors for an ex. How did she repay me? No sex, vacations had to be shared with friends (no 1 on 1, and for the one time we were alone, she was a cold fish, hid it from her parents). I took the lead with all kinds of romantic ideas and outings and she never reciprocated.
The next relationship I learned my lesson, created distance and challenge and got much better results. The woman bought me stuff, cooked for me , it was a refreshing change.
5 weeks is long enough..Do not expect her to say she wants to meet you...she may be old school..I know I am..I will never ask a guy to meet up...
Ask her, set a date or ask her when is okay...and try and lock her down..You are worried about her talking to other guys? Be very worried...if they ask her to meet first? She is thinking you and her will go nowhere...and it is all talk...
The early bird gets the worm...or ...**** or get off the pot,.REALLY?
Some very good advice here but seriously... "act like you don't give a sh*t" and lose her... I was given this advice from my sister's husband... "I've acted like I didn't give a sh*t, and women chased me"... REALLY???... then my sister came into the room and stated, "well you almost lost me to someone else and I absolutely hated that" they got married because my brother in law asked her to marry him... LOL... I really don't like any GAMES... I don't like a man to over analyse anything.. I say what I mean and if unclear "ask" please
Yes I agree with many here, I like the man to "step up to the plate"... if you back off and wait for her... she will 1- either think your not interested 2- thinks you have many other women and you are fitting her into your busy schedule.
I would step back and make myself less available. She sounds like she's testing the waters and you're going full steam ahead. Gladly paying and opening doors=doormat and too old fashioned. Reward her when she behaves herself and does stuff for you, not automatically.
This could also backfire and she might get the idea that you are not interested
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