Vulture Future SIL wants my parents "stuff" when they die (women, older)

[Cleverbeetle98]

All jokes aside (despite the suggestions being completely entertaining!), it would be good to make sure they do have a will - hopefully at this point they already do (everyone should once they have children).

Or you could always ask her how her parents are feeling and when you get to go call dibbs on her family's items...

[Johnny Vanderburgh]

Originally Posted by Bosco55David

I'd lay into her so bad she'd be in therapy by the end of the week.

Agree.

We're talking about physical therapy, right?

[aaauger]

Originally Posted by TimeMachine

Should I tell my brother this is really creepy and bothering me?

You need to tell your parents - immediately. This person appears to be a predator. At least vultures wait until death.

[suedonym]

Originally Posted by akck

Skip the brother. Have your parents make a will/trust laying out who gets what before they get married.

this is the best, most practical answer (although some of the others made me laugh! )

As difficult as it is for you, your parents should be able to understand that often times, NOT having things planned out beforehand (from funeral arrangements to disbursement of property or assets) can be horribly straining on a family, and often cause resentment and hurt feelings to downright bitterness and anger. Having them put everything in writing will alleviate some of that.

Also, if one person is getting significantly more (or less) than others, they need to give a reason why, otherwise the 'shortchanged' one, will forever be wondering why.

I've worked in the funeral industry for many years, so I speak on this all first hand....

[cwaggy]

Originally Posted by Georgianbelle

As a Southern woman here is my advice, take her by the hand lead her away from everyone and say with the sweetest smile you can manage, "Now listen up and listen well, it will be a white Christmas in Savannah before you lay your greedy hands on anything my parent's own. And if you don't quit talking about their deaths, you will be the one found lying face down in the French Quarter one Sunday morning." Then, whenever you see her afterwards smile that same smile and force her to look away.

....and this my friends, is what Southern Charm is all about.....

[cwaggy]

My ex wife once told me, in response to my repeated pleas for her to buckle down and set her priorities straight, that she did not have to work too hard or too much since when my folks died, we'd be all set financially.

Part of why she's the ex, somehow exchanging someone else's passing as their good fortune is simply morbid and base. I hope your future SIL is not my ex; there is a bullet to be dodged here.

[Georgianbelle]

In all seriousness I would let my parents know what she is saying. It is morbid and slightly threatening to be saying things like this while your parents are alive. I would also attempt to speak to my brother about it...whether or not he will listen is another story. Also, like others have said your parents need to list all their property and heirlooms and who it will go to when they have passed away now. Then, there will be no arguments or dibs to be made.

[aaauger]

You also need to be concerned about what could happen before your parents die. Do a search on "elderly financial abuse".

[wanneroo]

I would tell the parents and also the brother and I'd probably find a way of letting the gold digger know the game is up.

[malamute]

Originally Posted by BKSnook

I'm direct, so I would confront the girlfriend. That's just weird behavior. Talking about death is very taboo, nevermind in such a disturbing manner. Even joking about that is weird.

I've heard of people being that crass that they do this. One woman asked her mother-in-law who was getting what in her will. Unbelievable but some people are not raised with any kind of manners whatsoever and it's doing them a favor to tell them directly how this comes across.