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So, there's this girl that I'm interested in. We met at a summer class last summer for the second time, but this time I noticed her differently. She is beautiful, smart, enjoys the same things I like mostly, has a great personality, same religion, etc. Even though we live in the same area, I haven't seen her in real life since this class even though we keep in touch online somewhat. We are both planning on attending a three-week-long university-run course this summer.
The only problem is, I am extremely shy. In fact, I really don't know anyone as shy as me. The only reason I talked to her and got to know her better was because my cousin was already talking to her, so I felt more comfortable. I'm afraid that at this class we attend together, I will be too shy to talk to her. She was in this program last year, so she will know more people than me, which doesn't help, of course.
So what should I do to keep from being too shy and having no chance with her ever?
You already know what to do, talk to her. The only way to get over your shyness is to push through it. I'm not sure if you need a boost of self-esteem or if you're just afraid of rejection but whatever is causing you to be shy, you need to address it. You won't all of a sudden become outgoing overnight but you can start taking baby steps.
There's no magic pill that can overcome shyness ( at least none that are legal ). You just have to face your fears and do it and the more you do it, the less you will be apprehensive about it.
I was terribly shy too when I was a kid. Now I just realise that it is/was a me-me-me thing. How do I feel? What will they think of me? etc etc Everything is super concentrated about me and what I am feeling, how it will effect me... Sod that. Basically, people do not really think of you all the time. They dont care or bother, they have better things to think about than to think about you and what is wrong with your life.
Yes, you may get some criticisms about stuff, but no more than everyone else gets. Brush it off and get on with it and stop being so self-centred and a little flower.
When I realised all this (a lot, lot later!) I got less shy and became a 'normal' person. :-) I know this sounds harsh, but it IS the reality of it all. If you are honest, you will agree. If you want to kid yourself, you will make up excuses why it does not apply to you. Thats up to you - how badly do you want to get over this and get a life back?
The other thing to do is to get to know yourself better. I like EFT (Emotinal Freedom Technique) it is quick, easy and free to learn and can sort out hyper-feelings about things in a very short time. Look it up and read the manual, all 90 pages of it! It only takes a couple of minutes(2-3) to do and you can use it as often as you like.
You already know what to do, talk to her. The only way to get over your shyness is to push through it. I'm not sure if you need a boost of self-esteem or if you're just afraid of rejection but whatever is causing you to be shy, you need to address it. You won't all of a sudden become outgoing overnight but you can start taking baby steps.
There's no magic pill that can overcome shyness ( at least none that are legal ). You just have to face your fears and do it and the more you do it, the less you will be apprehensive about it.
Good Luck.
I've been shy since as long as I can remember, so I don't really know what would be causing it, or if there is a cause at all. I'm 6'3" and do well in school, so I know I should feel confident, but I don't.
So, there's this girl that I'm interested in. We met at a summer class last summer for the second time, but this time I noticed her differently. She is beautiful, smart, enjoys the same things I like mostly, has a great personality, same religion, etc. Even though we live in the same area, I haven't seen her in real life since this class even though we keep in touch online somewhat. We are both planning on attending a three-week-long university-run course this summer.
The only problem is, I am extremely shy. In fact, I really don't know anyone as shy as me. The only reason I talked to her and got to know her better was because my cousin was already talking to her, so I felt more comfortable. I'm afraid that at this class we attend together, I will be too shy to talk to her. She was in this program last year, so she will know more people than me, which doesn't help, of course.
So what should I do to keep from being too shy and having no chance with her ever?
All I can suggest is to do the same when you do not feel confident in something else. For example let us say a sport. You may not feel confident in throwing a ball. What to do? Go out there and try it. You may be clumsy but in time you will get better. The better you get the more confident. Go out there and date this girls. If she likes you she will love you making the effort for her. She will like the fact that she must be that important to you to the point that you will keep trying despite stumbling along the way, take care.
Ever hear of the SAS? They're the British Army special forces. Some of the most heroic, daring brave men on the face of the earth. Their motto: who dares wins.
Live that motto, realize that you will only have "no chance with her ever" if you don't try. Yes, there's a chance that if you try you'll fail, but there's also a chance of success that is totally non-existent if you don't try. I know how you feel, and it's a matter of telling yourself that you are confident, that you are worth something. Heck before you talk to her, say to yourself "I am a badass mother****er." The more you try, the easier it becomes. In high school I barely talked to girls and almost NEVER dared ask one out to anything. Now in college it's gotten easier... why? Because I've dared to talk to a girl and dared to invite her to coffee, lunch or even a study session. It bombs sometimes, and you'll take it hard at first, but you gotta just stand up and try again.
So, there's this girl that I'm interested in. We met at a summer class last summer for the second time, but this time I noticed her differently. She is beautiful, smart, enjoys the same things I like mostly, has a great personality, same religion, etc. Even though we live in the same area, I haven't seen her in real life since this class even though we keep in touch online somewhat. We are both planning on attending a three-week-long university-run course this summer.
The only problem is, I am extremely shy. In fact, I really don't know anyone as shy as me. The only reason I talked to her and got to know her better was because my cousin was already talking to her, so I felt more comfortable. I'm afraid that at this class we attend together, I will be too shy to talk to her. She was in this program last year, so she will know more people than me, which doesn't help, of course.
So what should I do to keep from being too shy and having no chance with her ever?
When you feel paralyzed with fear you should ask yourself two questions...
#1. What's the worst thing that could happen?
#2. Why do I have to be shy about when I know that everyone on earth is equal?
So you fear rejection? She won't be nice to you? She'll think you're stupid? You have B.O. or bad breath?
What's to be shy about? She's human, you're human... both of you are individuals born on this earth the same way. The sun doesn't rise and set on her face, she's not the alpha and omega.... She's an individual just like you are. She eats, sleeps, farts, picks her nose and scratches her butt like everyone else on this planet and you're no more or less than she is.
Some people think extreme shyness is a form of narcssism. Always worrying, "What will they think of me?" is quite self-centered. The fact is, the vast majority of people are only worrying or thinking about themselves at any given moment.
Everyone on earth has been rejected by someone at some point. It's much more manly to try and fail with a woman that sit on the sidelines all your life.
Put things in proper perspective. Imagine someone going to the Doctor and the Doc saying, "Well, get your affairs in order, your cancer has spread and you have 4 weeks to live." Now contrast that situation with living in terror about asking a woman out. The worst that can happen is that she declines your invitation. It's not a life or death situation.
I found the easiest way to be more confident was to quit caring. It is a all or nothing attitude. Be honest and let your mouth run with it.
Whenever I try to do that, I can't think of anything interesting to say, so I don't say anything.
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). You just have to face your fears and do it and the more you do it, the less you will be apprehensive about it. 
