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i subscribed to match.com for a month about 3 or 4 years ago. i thought it was like a $40/month version of plenty of fish, only it is filled with fake and nonpaying profiles.
so you have two issues in my mind -- one is that online dating in general is not a good way for me to meet people. two, is that i found match.com to be the worst site that I tried.
I had the same experience with Match. Many fake profiles, and the daily matches they keep sending me are duplicated over and over again. I've had much better luck with Fish and eH.
I don't know any married couples who met through Match, but I know at least four happily married couples who met through eHarmony, and two who met via other online sites.
I've gone on sites like Match and seen women write really short profiles, like just a few sentences. They'll say something along the lines of "I hate writing about myself so if there's anything you wanna know, just ask." Really? So out of all the women on here, you expect me to contact you based just on that little blurb and your pictures? If you think that, then you must have a pretty high opinion of yourself. Men are expected to pursue and women rarely make the first move. Fine. I get it. But is it too much to ask that they give us something to work with? If all I know about you is your age, height, etc. and what you look like, how does that make you stand out from the crowd?
Denny, I find the exact same thing in men's profiles. I can't understand why they think that just a couple of sentences is enough to go on. BTW, I'm often the one to make the first move. I think online dating is a two-way street, and both parties should put equal effort into it.
I read a lot of CD posters talking a lot about online dating site disasters and difficulty of finding someone and all the horror stories etc. But, people I know in real life, all seem to have had GREAT success with just using Match.com.
My question is - CD'ers, why not just use Match.com and forget about all those other questionable dating sites?
I know 13 married couples who met on Match. I know several more people who are in serious relationships with people they also met on Match. It seems to me that this is really the only way to go for those who want to meet someone. Of all these people, they all say that the other sites are not good (except a couple said e-harmony is okay).
Just curious as to why no one here uses it.
What makes you think they don't? I've heard many people here on CD give a thumbs up story. I've given several myself.
Match.com is a meat market. People like it because they can see each other's pictures.
Eharmony is based on compatibility so you only get lists of people that are likely to be compatible, instead of wasting hours sifting through profile. Pictures, emails, and other information are kept private unless you release it to the other person after a few conversations. This is why this is the only safe site to use. Esp if you might run into a coworker or classmate on the site.
I know plenty of people who met on Match but they mostly broke up or just hooked up. Eharmony seems to produce more marriages.
I tried online dating, many years ago (circa 1997). I remember I got a lot of responses right away. It was like Christmas morning when I looked at my Inbox.
Much to my dismay, when I started reading I noticed I got responses from those who lived hundreds of miles away. Additionally I discovered how stupid and rude people could be. I got offers for marriage, invitations for bizarre sexual acts, naked pictures of a 60+ year old man and people who seemed illiterate. After digging through all of that, I found a couple serious inquiries. I followed up on one, emailed him back. We emailed back and forth a few times, talked on the phone for a couple hours, set a date and met. He was better than I could have imagined. He was nice looking, charming, funny...I was so smitten. It was like a perfect first date, and I was so thrilled when he suggested another! We ended up dating for several months...
then he found somebody else and dumped me.
I can't really blame the online part for that I guess.
I can't help but laugh at the people who scoff at online dating. Don't you people realize that going online is simply a way of meeting people you might not normally meet? Sure you could do what people did in the old days and hope to meet someone at work, in school, through friends, family, etc. You could go to bars, clubs, volunteer, join various activities. But there are limits to who you'll meet. Essentially, you're relying on luck which seems like a pretty silly way of going about finding something. It may work for some people, but for a lot of people it's not enough. And given the high divorce rate, it's pretty obvious finding people isn't the issue. Finding the RIGHT person is the problem. What if you're looking for someone specific that you have very little chance of finding in the places you normally go? So you'd go to new places. But what if you have no idea where to look to find that person?
If all you're looking for is a date for Saturday night or just someone to hook up with, then you probably don't need to go online. But what if you're looking for something more serious? What if, after a number of failed relationships and even failed marriages, you've learned all the things you absolutely must have in a partner? Sure you can go out there, meet someone, take the time to get to know them and then discover they're not the right religion or they want kids, but you don't or they're a Republican and you're a Democrat. Now imagine doing that 100 more times. That's why online dating has become so popular. It's a huge time-saver for people. You can learn stuff about someone before ever meeting and know immediately that they're all wrong for you.
As for paying for the services, before you declare it a ripoff, keep in mind just what it is you're paying for. It's not the quality of the people, it's not a guarantee of meeting someone or even getting an email. You're paying for access to a meeting place where people you normally wouldn't meet in real life are present. And, in the case of something like eHarmony, you're paying for a filter. You can go to a site like POF, but chances are most of the people aren't serious about meeting anyone. At least if they paid, you know they're more likely to be actually be looking to meet someone.
Frankly, I think the people complaining about how online dating does and doesn't work are just a bunch of whiners. If you try it, have realistic expectations and don't go crying because you didn't get any responses to your emails.
I can't help but laugh at the people who scoff at online dating. Don't you people realize that going online is simply a way of meeting people you might not normally meet? Sure you could do what people did in the old days and hope to meet someone at work, in school, through friends, family, etc. You could go to bars, clubs, volunteer, join various activities. But there are limits to who you'll meet. Essentially, you're relying on luck which seems like a pretty silly way of going about finding something. It may work for some people, but for a lot of people it's not enough. And given the high divorce rate, it's pretty obvious finding people isn't the issue. Finding the RIGHT person is the problem. What if you're looking for someone specific that you have very little chance of finding in the places you normally go? So you'd go to new places. But what if you have no idea where to look to find that person?
If all you're looking for is a date for Saturday night or just someone to hook up with, then you probably don't need to go online. But what if you're looking for something more serious? What if, after a number of failed relationships and even failed marriages, you've learned all the things you absolutely must have in a partner? Sure you can go out there, meet someone, take the time to get to know them and then discover they're not the right religion or they want kids, but you don't or they're a Republican and you're a Democrat. Now imagine doing that 100 more times. That's why online dating has become so popular. It's a huge time-saver for people. You can learn stuff about someone before ever meeting and know immediately that they're all wrong for you.
As for paying for the services, before you declare it a ripoff, keep in mind just what it is you're paying for. It's not the quality of the people, it's not a guarantee of meeting someone or even getting an email. You're paying for access to a meeting place where people you normally wouldn't meet in real life are present. And, in the case of something like eHarmony, you're paying for a filter. You can go to a site like POF, but chances are most of the people aren't serious about meeting anyone. At least if they paid, you know they're more likely to be actually be looking to meet someone.
Frankly, I think the people complaining about how online dating does and doesn't work are just a bunch of whiners. If you try it, have realistic expectations and don't go crying because you didn't get any responses to your emails.
Sorry Denny, I wasn't trying to laugh that hard! I was just laughing with Antlered since his posts always crack me up.
I see what you're saying and you make very good points. And yes, it can be a good tool to meet those you would never meet otherwise. I know of a few people who've met someone on Match, one of my friends met his fiance on e-harmony and these are all people around my age (mid 20's), another met her boyfriend on that nasty site, POF. I think online dating is just not as common in my age group because we're better able to socialize and meet our peers. My dad used online dating, but that was back in his mid 60's so it made more sense I think for him.
Anyway, I did try POF a couple years ago for a little over a month. I had never even heard of the site until then, when a friend suggested it to me. I only tried it for a month because everyone on there that contacted me was looking to hook up, was extremely insecure/socially awkward, and my favorite: way too old! Don't get me wrong, I live in Arizona so a lot of the men were at least good looking, but they had awful personalities. I had enough so I quit. I had another friend also try that site around the same time and had the same type of luck I had and she's a pretty and very sociable girl. She wound up meeting someone anyways, I don't know how they met though since we haven't spoken in a while. Regardless, now I know that that site simply was a terrible choice, but it still scared me straight from the whole thing, even the so called "better" sites!
I'm having bad luck meeting people in person, just going out and through friends and so I can't imagine online would be any better. Someone who's a lot older than me, I can see how they would benefit and how could even be better than meeting people in person. For people my age, it seems like if its tough in person, how on earth does it get better online? Seems like it would be worse.
I am on Match and have used it on and off for the last 2 years. I would say it's a step above the bar scene because it is a mix of guys wanting a relationship, and the ones who are just looking for sex. It's much easier for guys to just go through girls online than to be bothered going to a bar.
I have seen guys that were wanting something serious, ones who expected sex right away, etc.
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What makes you think they don't? I've heard many people here on CD give a thumbs up story. I've given several myself.
I was just laughing with Antlered since his posts always crack me up. 
