Black women and dating (love, attractiveness, older, family)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
This thread is discuss the unique challenges that black women may or may not face dating.
I myself didn't date until college and I went to a university in Connecticut that was roughly 7% black the year that I went, and the ratio of black females to black males was over 2:1. Some girls I met my year that were intent on dating black males enaged in "cultural" extracurriculars to put themselves in contact with the few black males who lived on campus, and I guess a lot were like me, who didn't care to engage in a black students association and wound up dating indiscriminately, most often interracially.
Flash forward to several years later and I still get the oddest questions about dating, am I "into older white guys" (usually asked by older white guys), am I open to dating people of all ethnicities, have I dated black, Asian, or Middle Eastern guys, why or why not?
I've come to the point where I don't share any of my dating habits to people who are nosy about what sort of people I date because I think people will judge me or stereotype me. I am not the sum of the people I date or which people choose to date me.
Some black women say they have trouble getting dates, and if I think it's difficult for black women to find mates and I think the answer is yes and no.
Yes, because there are a fair amount of people who don't know anything about black women and tend to stereotype what a black woman will be like straight from the gate. And also, there may be the attitudes of friends and family that may also be an issue. I didn't realize that such can play that big of a role in this day and age in a state like NY where I hail from, but my ex and I actually got into several major arguments because he was genuinely disturbed by his "friends" saying derogatory things like he must be into "dark meat" and accusing him of having a fetish (it's not like he even dated black women prior to me, his ex was Asian, but I guess just the fact that I was black made it slip into new fetish territory), in a joking manner. However, these things must've really bothered him because he felt the need to tell them I was the whitest black person he had ever met (which is such eyeroll material it isn't even funny) and insist he wasn't even generally "into black women" (whatever that means), which outraged me and started a series of arguments.
No, because I see attractive females of any background tend to have their pick of the litter (though attractiveness is highly relevant and in fact may be subject to Eurocentric standards). Also, more and more people are raised in diverse areas and go to school with people of very different backgrounds. I mean, I know for a fact race hasn't been that relevant in my dating interactions as compared to some of my ill advised choices.
In the end, every situation is different and the perspective of a 25 year old black female from NYC (yours truly) may be very different from a 45 year old black female from North Dakota.
Which is why I'm lookng for opinions and perspectives.
Interesting Topic. One I expect the Moderators will have to keep a close eye on.
It was only recently in another Topic I became aware that black working women had a serious problem with the ratio of available males (black). The reasons for this imbalance could easily stir up race based Stereotypes and other nastiness. My opinion on this subject is undergoing change as I am exposed to more information about it.
I think, while more pronounced in the black community, it is a problem for successful working women of all races.
I think one of, if not the cardinal reason why black women have trouble finding mates is because they're content being alone, they desire a mate but don't want to settle and three, some of them have too much attitude/baggage that drives sensible black men away. Just like successful black women are dating outside the race, so are successful black men. I'm open to a woman of any race as long as she loves God, physically fit and is on my level that can carry intelligent conversation. Most women don't fit the bill so as a successful black professional man, I keep it moving on the Section 8 hoodrats.
I hope this doesn't offend any black males but a few months ago I watched a program about the difficulty that successful black women have in meeting successful black men. Black women, for whatever reason, have done much better in their careers than black men. This program pointed out the very high percentage of black males who are currently in prison or who are ex-convicts unable to get a job. They had a group of black women who were discussing the difficulties in dating and some of them said they would be interested in men from other races but had encountered a lack of interest from many of those men as far as dating was concerned.
Of course there are successful black men including our President who I voted for so I truly don't mean to stereotype black males. It's actually quite possible that the stereotyping of black males has contributed to this problem because employers may be influenced by negative images of them which only worsens the problem. Anyway, I do believe that this situation is important when you're discussing the dating options for black women.
I hope this doesn't offend any black males but a few months ago I watched a program about the difficulty that successful black women have in meeting successful black men. Black women, for whatever reason, have done much better in their careers than black men. This program pointed out the very high percentage of black males who are currently in prison or who are ex-convicts unable to get a job. They had a group of black women who were discussing the difficulties in dating and some of them said they would be interested in men from other races but had encountered a lack of interest from many of those men as far as dating was concerned.
Of course there are successful black men including our President who I voted for so I truly don't mean to stereotype black males. It's actually quite possible that the stereotyping of black males has contributed to this problem because employers may be influenced by negative images of them which only worsens the problem. Anyway, I do believe that this situation is important when you're discussing the dating options for black women.
You're spot on with this. You'd think successful black men are checking for successful black women but as this post states, that's not the case which could contribute to the difficulty successful black women face in meeting suitable mates. My advice is to be the person you want to attract and you'll find love when you least expect, this goes for successful black women and men. That, and most successful black women/men tend to believe the negative stereotypes perpetrated by the media so that's a factor right there.
But who are these supposedly successful black females who cannot find good men to date? I only seem to hear about this only when I read these forums on the internet. I know a bunch of black women and have never heard any of them complain about not finding a good man to date.
I may be wrong but I think this whole issue is overrated.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
