Check out the blue tool bar toward the top of your page. See "Search" in white lettering? Perform an advanced titles search using key words such as Singles and Urban within the Raleigh Durham threads. This should lead you to some useful discussions.
https://www.city-data.com/forum/ralei...hlight=singles
https://www.city-data.com/forum/ralei...hlight=singles
Also, check out the Men's Health Article where Raleigh and Durham are listed top 20 best places for women over 35. There are lots of "singles" lists like this. Raleigh makes an appearance on Forbes list as well.
http://www.menshealth.com/findlove/
It really depends on what's important to you. If you enjoy outdoors activities, the Triangle has a lot to offer. It is quite the college town as well. This may or may not appeal to you. Activities and people are spread out and you’ll have to make an effort to seek out other singles. I believe that’s why the Triangle is so active on this meet-up site.
http://www.meetup.com/cities/us/nc/raleigh/newest/
In the IT space, a male dominated field, you certainly won't have a shortage of men. I can't attest to whether they'll be available or desirable though ;-).
Hailing from a smaller town I can't imagine anyone being too disappointed. However, Coming from DC you might be considerably under-whelmed.
Best of Luck!