Question for families that have moved from the Westchester NY area to the Triangle (Raleigh: fit in, transplants)
Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, CaryThe Triangle Area
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As we are considering a move to the Triangle (NW Cary or Chapel Hill area) from the NY (Westchester county), we are wondering how people who have moved there with small children feel about the move. Are you happy you did it? Is your quality of life really better? What are you likes and dislikes? How are you adjusting to the different culture? I hear a lot of positives, but I also hear a lot of people say, "It's just different" and they don't really explain what that means. I am a working mom, and I wonder how different (if there is much) the corporate world is there? I also hear from some people that they like calling Northerners "Yankees", which, I would think, would make you feel unwelcome.
Thanks in advance for your input here.
Well, I can't speak from personal experience, but my mom was from Westchester Co. (grew up in Larchmont) and moved to NC when I was a child. I could always tell she never quite "fit in" here, whatever that means. While she made lots of friends and was successful, she always talked about NY as "home" not here. And she talked about it frequently. I don't think she ever felt unwelcome, in fact, probably quite the opposite. Southerners are extremely friendly and inviting, so I don't think you'll have that issue. Now, as a child of a Northerner, I can tell you that I feel at home here. I love it and can't imagine living anywhere else. I've been to Larchmont and the surrounding area a lot and it feels so different to me. Life up there is much faster and it seems like people are out for themselves. Not to say you don't find that here, but I just feel in general the South is much more calm, friendly and enjoyable.
I think you've picked a couple of great areas and you'll find lots of people like yourselves. My personal opinion having kids of my own now is Cary may be a better fit than Chapel Hil. Chapel Hill is really a college town when it comes down to it. Cary is much more family friendly and there are a ton of things to do with small kids.
We moved here just about 1 yr ago from LI New York. Never had anyone call us Yankees. We find that most people are very kind to us. I work with many people who relocated from the NY, CT, PA, NJ, Boston areas at my job here in Cary. I also work with others who were born and raised in NC and they are some of the kindest people I have ever met.
As far as feeling out of place, I think that is something that most will feel when moving from one state to another. It took time for us to start to feel like NC is home to us. It takes time to settle in, become familiar with where things area, make friends, find employment, find new doctors, new schools, etc. It also is difficult if you are leaving from an area where you currently have other family members. My daughter is in high school and it took her about 6 months to finally feel ok with being here. Everyone was very accepting of her when she 1st started school here, which made it alot easier for her. Most of the students in her school in Cary seem to be transplants as well.
the "what's different" is a varied answer. There is no warburton avenue or broadway or henry hudson parkway. You can't cross over to 100 and find what you need in a jiffy. The local deli and restaurant are lost on this area - it's applebees and golden corral (sure, there are some restaurants, but it's just not the same) Southern cooking consists of a lot of bacon fat used as the base to cook things like greens (not something you'll find at a diner in Westchester), and vegetables, for the most part, are killed before serving on your plate. Needless to say, my husband and I prefer to eat at home most of the time, as we prefer our vegees crunchy, or at least with a tiny bit of tooth!
Shopping is really annoying when you first get here - my husband and I often complain about the "curb cuts" -- unless you know of a particular shop or shopping area, you would have no idea that it's on the corner you pass every day. It's really frustrating.
Local events are generally owned/managed by local media outlets - the area is so geographically spread, that there aren't big local events apart from the state fair that are advertised on all outlets.
Sports-wise, the whole Mets v. Yankees thing will seem like a distant memory- though there are plenty of both down here - but there isn't a MLB baseball team to discuss. There are the Bulls, which is a fun diversion, but it's a haul to Durham, and it's just not the same (AAA).
The sidewalks tend to roll up at around 7:00 pm too, which is a little strange if you are used to going to a restaurant at 8:30 or 9:00 and expecting hustle and bustle.
Lots of Wal*Marts and Super Targets and the like, whereas in Westchester, you have to go way out to find them.
Housing here is ridiculously cheap compared to NYS, as is the price of gasoline and car insurance.
We are happy with our quality of life here - but it takes some getting used to, as others have stated - finding Docs, schools, markets, etc.
I'm not from NY but I am from the northeast....suburbs in RI not too dissimilar from Westchester area.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NcerfromNY
the "what's different" is a varied answer. The local deli and restaurant are lost on this area - it's applebees and golden corral (sure, there are some restaurants, but it's just not the same) Some restaurants?? There are really quite a few high quality eateries throughout the triangle. Durham has some really phenomenal restaurants! I'll agree about the lack of a deli, however, we've been able to find some pretty darn good bagels, knishes and corned beef sandwiches!
Southern cooking consists of a lot of bacon fat used as the base to cook things like greens (not something you'll find at a diner in Westchester), and vegetables, for the most part, are killed before serving on your plate. Needless to say, my husband and I prefer to eat at home most of the time, as we prefer our vegees crunchy, or at least with a tiny bit of tooth! Not sure where you are eating but at every upscale restaurant I've been to around here, my veggies were cooked correctly....not soft/overcooked. I've lived here for 8 months and never had greens cooked with bacon fat!
Shopping is really annoying when you first get here - my husband and I often complain about the "curb cuts" -- unless you know of a particular shop or shopping area, you would have no idea that it's on the corner you pass every day. It's really frustrating. True, signage restrictions in Cary make it difficult to find places but those same restrictions limit big ugly billboards.
Sports-wise, the whole Mets v. Yankees thing will seem like a distant memory- though there are plenty of both down here - but there isn't a MLB baseball team to discuss. There are the Bulls, which is a fun diversion, but it's a haul to Durham, and it's just not the same (AAA). Well, I'm a Boston Red Sox fan and we've had a blast watching games with the Red Sox meetup group in Raleigh! It's not the same as going to Fenway but it's still fun! Try a Duke Basketball game! UNC Hockey!
The sidewalks tend to roll up at around 7:00 pm too, which is a little strange if you are used to going to a restaurant at 8:30 or 9:00 and expecting hustle and bustle. I'm old and don't care about this one!! lol
Lots of Wal*Marts and Super Targets and the like, whereas in Westchester, you have to go way out to find them. There are also lots of small upscale boutiques in Cameron Village, North Hills (Raleigh) Stone Creek (Cary)...not to mention Nordstrom's at Southpoint!
Good luck, and I hope this was helpful!
I'm really not trying to knock anything you said but, rather, add another perpective. We love it here!!
I grew up in NYS, cut my teeth as an adult in Boston, and spent lots of time in RI with my now husband. Providence I LOVE -- would love to bring Waterfire to Raleigh if it were possible -- again, one of those differences that can't easily be explained. I clarified a little below.
I'm not from NY but I am from the northeast....suburbs in RI not too dissimilar from Westchester area.
Originally Posted by NcerfromNY the "what's different" is a varied answer. The local deli and restaurant are lost on this area - it's applebees and golden corral (sure, there are some restaurants, but it's just not the same) Some restaurants?? There are really quite a few high quality eateries throughout the triangle. Durham has some really phenomenal restaurants! I'll agree about the lack of a deli, however, we've been able to find some pretty darn good bagels, knishes and corned beef sandwiches!
Southern cooking consists of a lot of bacon fat used as the base to cook things like greens (not something you'll find at a diner in Westchester), and vegetables, for the most part, are killed before serving on your plate. Needless to say, my husband and I prefer to eat at home most of the time, as we prefer our vegees crunchy, or at least with a tiny bit of tooth! Not sure where you are eating but at every upscale restaurant I've been to around here, my veggies were cooked correctly....not soft/overcooked. I've lived here for 8 months and never had greens cooked with bacon fat!
you haven't experienced Southern cooking then -- and that's fine -- and what I was referencing was more a way of life; the "it's different" and trying to give some specific examples, relevant to Westchester v. the Triangle. Chapel Hill has much better offerings than Wake Forest- absolutely!
Shopping is really annoying when you first get here - my husband and I often complain about the "curb cuts" -- unless you know of a particular shop or shopping area, you would have no idea that it's on the corner you pass every day. It's really frustrating. True, signage restrictions in Cary make it difficult to find places but those same restrictions limit big ugly billboards.
Sports-wise, the whole Mets v. Yankees thing will seem like a distant memory- though there are plenty of both down here - but there isn't a MLB baseball team to discuss. There are the Bulls, which is a fun diversion, but it's a haul to Durham, and it's just not the same (AAA). Well, I'm a Boston Red Sox fan and we've had a blast watching games with the Red Sox meetup group in Raleigh! It's not the same as going to Fenway but it's still fun! Try a Duke Basketball game! UNC Hockey!
See above post -- the college rivalries are fun, and again DIFFERENT from the mets v. yankees, which is a very NY thing, which, as I read it, was what the OP was looking for. Never mind seeing the Hurricanes, which we LOVE doing, not something you can ever do on a last minute basis for $10 a person plus parking in metro NYC!
The sidewalks tend to roll up at around 7:00 pm too, which is a little strange if you are used to going to a restaurant at 8:30 or 9:00 and expecting hustle and bustle. I'm old and don't care about this one!! lol
Definitely LOL - we're old too, and we have little people - but it can be so frustrating to grab dinner when the spirit moves you only to find out that everyone else ate up all the specials before 7 pm
Lots of Wal*Marts and Super Targets and the like, whereas in Westchester, you have to go way out to find them. There are also lots of small upscale boutiques in Cameron Village, North Hills (Raleigh) Stone Creek (Cary)...not to mention Nordstrom's at Southpoint! Good luck, and I hope this was helpful!
back to OP - can't speak to SW Durham, but Chapel hill offers lots of charm and downtown feel -- much moreso than North Raleigh IMO. And FTR, when we are looking for a great restaurant we are way more than likely to head to Chapel Hill My husband works in "the industry" and bc (before children) we were both serious foodies. We're not food snobs per se, but will not spend money on food that is not as good as that which we can prepare at home. And that's a tall order if you ask anyone who has eaten at our tavola.
I'm really not trying to knock anything you said but, rather, add another perpective. We love it here!!
NcerfromNY said "back to OP - can't speak to SW Durham, but Chapel hill offers lots of charm and downtown feel -- much moreso than North Raleigh IMO. And FTR, when we are looking for a great restaurant we are way more than likely to head to Chapel Hill My husband works in "the industry" and bc (before children) we were both serious foodies. We're not food snobs per se, but will not spend money on food that is not as good as that which we can prepare at home. And that's a tall order if you ask anyone who has eaten at our tavola."
I have a feeling you are a seriously GOOD cook!! I'm jealous!! I'm actually a very good baker but really only a "so-so" cook. Have to agree on Providence's Waterfire..it's pretty awesome.
Well, one thing I keep hearing is that there are not many good Italian restaurants. It seems everytime you turn around in my area, there is another highly rated Italian restaurant opening up. Everybody loves them (not just Italians). How come I don't hear that in the Triangle area? I know there are some, but up here they dominate! What a shame.
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Relocated from the Northeast
My husband works in "the industry" and bc (before children) we were both serious foodies. We're not food snobs per se, but will not spend money on food that is not as good as that which we can prepare at home. And that's a tall order if you ask anyone who has eaten at our tavola.
