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Old 02-25-2007, 01:20 PM
 
Location: Austin, TX
425 posts, read 1,258,301 times
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[quote=PDXmom;401895]Lolligrump, I think it's very sweet that you want to pick up the local sayings of your new home. (I'm assuming you did not say WBYH or BYH in AZ. Correct me if I'm wrong.)

Yes, I have always said these phrases. My folks originally were from PA/NY and I can only guess that is where they picked them up.
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Old 02-25-2007, 02:30 PM
 
3,155 posts, read 10,765,340 times
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[quote=lolligrump;402262]
Quote:
Originally Posted by PDXmom View Post
Lolligrump, I think it's very sweet that you want to pick up the local sayings of your new home. (I'm assuming you did not say WBYH or BYH in AZ. Correct me if I'm wrong.)

Yes, I have always said these phrases. My folks originally were from PA/NY and I can only guess that is where they picked them up.
My appoligies... I should know better by now regarding what assuming makes me. And I learned something new.... I did not realize BYH was spoken in PA and NY too. Thanks for sharing.
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Old 02-26-2007, 07:18 AM
 
Location: SoCA to NC
2,187 posts, read 8,017,950 times
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My understanding is that it is a softner and nothing else i.e......"Well bless her heart but she can't help it if she is as buck toothed as a horse" My grandmother used to say "she just isn't playing with a full deck....bless her heart". I have never heard it used sypathetically. For that; Southern woman just bring you tons of baked goods and food! Of course this comes from Arkansas southern standards and not NC so who knows it may just be different here......bless their hearts!
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Old 02-26-2007, 07:34 AM
 
Location: Austin, TX
425 posts, read 1,258,301 times
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Oh my, now you have me thinking CAKD! I remember my mom saying that exact thing: "she just isn't playing with a full deck ...bless her heart". How funny - maybe I misinterpreted all these years the saying. At any rate, I use it as a compliment, but I'm now thinking my mom didn't???? That makes me chuckle. Thanks for the great laugh this morning. Hmmm, food for thought!
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Old 02-26-2007, 12:32 PM
 
139 posts, read 551,026 times
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Oh yeah all my aunts say "bless her heart she means well but" there is always a but after their bless her/his heart! I think if people say "bless your heart" and that's it, its sincere. Otherwise-YMMV!
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Old 02-26-2007, 02:48 PM
 
548 posts, read 2,650,020 times
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Wow, I have a lot to learn about living here!

So many nuances here!

I also learned recently another indirect way to give a negative response. I asked a real Southerner what she thought of someone. She answered "well, I don't know her very well." I thought...yes you do! (but I didn't say that). Later, I was told that saying "I don't know her very well" when they do is an indirect way of saying they don't like her.

I'd better be careful not to say that when I really DON'T know someone well but DO like them! I wonder how many things I don't know about I've said which were offensive!
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Old 02-26-2007, 04:34 PM
 
Location: Wake Forest NC
1,611 posts, read 4,851,735 times
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All of this is so... British! I guess the British culture did not get too diluted in these parts!!!!
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Old 02-26-2007, 07:18 PM
 
22 posts, read 82,073 times
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I am laughing so hard at the "not for nothing but (insert negative comment)..." phase. People say that in MA a lot too...
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Old 02-27-2007, 07:50 AM
 
20 posts, read 47,027 times
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Default In Florida...

Ok, well, my Dad's family is southern (Fla, Bama, Georgia) & my Mom's is from Boston so.... When we heard "bless your heart" it was usually after we did something nice like bring someone a glass of water & the like, therefore, I ALWAYS took it as..a "Thank you for being so sweet or polite" comment...now I am beginning to wonder??

As for the other one... "Not for nothing..." basically it is heard all over Miami since Miami has ALOT of NYers & NJers...it usually is a rude preface to a comment. Meaning, I am not saying this for you to think I do not mean anything by it because I really do! Such as..."Not for nothing, but why don't you put highlights in your hair?" Meaning, the speaker feels my hair would look better bleached with highlights becasue that is what they are used to seeing in NY or NJ, however, down here, we prefer the natural color, & if includes highlights from NATURAL sun exposure so be it. The only ones down here with the fake hair, nails, breast, etc...are all transplants form somewhere else!! OK, sorry for the defense mechanism, I am just tired of these fake women asking me why I do not want to be like them! Besdies everyone knows everything about the personified Miami women is nothing but fake, right down to the leased (not owned!!) Lexus, BMW, Mercedes, and lets not forget the newest trend...every housewife needs a Hummer!! LOL
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Old 02-27-2007, 09:01 AM
 
214 posts, read 664,356 times
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If it's used in 1st or 2nd person (bless my heart or bless your heart), it's usually sincere. If it's used in 3rd person (Bless her heart), look out because someone is about to get insulted.
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